A snake story, based on an experience I had while I was in Florida.

we’re all cold, and the snake comic comes to us like the driver in the night to put us out of harm’s way and give us a little warmth <3

Your secret is safe with me (i dissociated mid sentence and didn’t hear a thing you said)

Tumblr users will see a post mentioning a day if the week and just fucking black out and reblog it

I am once again thinking about digging holes

It's so fucked up that digging a bunch of holes works so well at reversing desertification

I hate that so much discourse into fighting climate change is talking about bioenginerring a special kind of seaweed that removes microplastics or whatever other venture-capital-viable startup idea when we have known for forever about shit like digging crescent shaped holes to catch rainwater and turning barren land hospitable

just a small collection of my favorite tags on this post so far

tiktok is such an awful app, it's almost designed to feed you misinformation and expose you to insane discourse. unlike beloved tumblr, the app that feeds me misinformation and exposes me to insane discourse

No, no, no, you see on tiktok an algorithm feeds you misinformation. On Tumblr I feed myself misinformation from my charcuterie board of hand-selected unhinged mutuals.

None of that mass market junk. Only artisanal, small batch, sustainably cultivated, fair trade horseshit.

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

A hiker, clearly shaken, enters a remote English village pub, his clothes all torn and he's full of scratches. 

"You won't believe this," he says to the bartender. "I was attacked by a leopard!"

"Really?"

"Yes! A leopard! In England!" The hiker sits down and orders the strongest liquor they've got. "I tried to run, but it was if course much faster than me."

The hiker gets his glass, empties it, and asks for another. "It sent me to the ground with a mighty push from its paws, but weirdly enough it then just gave me a really sad look and left."

"Ah, you met Father Andrews," the bartender says, matter-of-factly.

"What do you mean?" asks the tourist, confused.

"Father Andrews was our priest. A truly kind-hearted man, loved by all. His only goal in life was to serve his congregation as well as he could. So when he one day found a lamp with a genie, his very first wish was to be a loving shepherd to the community."

"That's nice "

"Absolutely, if only he hadn't been so prone to spoonerisms."

If you guys were on here at 11 years old what would you be posting about

If I ask nicely will people reblog this and tell me what their most common breakfast is? Not your favorite necessarily, just what you have for breakfast most frequently? 🙏🏽

most of the talk on this website about Game Changer is how Sam Reich psychologically tortures his contestants, but I want to make it clear to the uninitiated that he's actually extremely ethical about it

He sends out a company wide email and asks them to choose episodes based on a chili pepper rating system

meaning he doesn't put 🌶️🌶️ people into 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ episodes

they're also big on consent ie cast and crew have to be okay with it before they'll do nudity or something like that in an episode

it's like the bdsm of psychological torture. safe, sane, and consensual.

the contestants know what they're getting into, and they're full down

everyone in the tags/replies is really knocking it out of the park

is game changer rack or ssc?

ID: original post has a gif of Brennan behind a game changer podium saying, "There is no corner of my heart I would not turn over to the world for five points."

Second reblog has a screenshotted tag reading "game changer is enrichment for Brennan lee mulligan."

Third reblog has more screenshotted tags, reading:

"every once in a while they let him out of the dome and onto the game changer stage / he starts biting otherwise"

"i'm sure op and prev are well aware of this / but there's a phrase in bdsm replacing ssc which is rack / risk aware consensual kink / which i bring up only because it's reeeeally funny to me to apply that philosophy to game changer" "that makes Brennan his bratty sub"

"iirc they also have a safe word so they can full stop if need be"

"when we say Game Changer is Brennan's hell / you have to understand / he signed up for this hell so fast"

"i love that for them / honestly dropout is so great"

"enreichment...perhaps" (the pun here is putting Sam Reich's last name into the word enrichment)

"it's enrichment for a lot of them / they are theater majors" / end id

one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method

Everyone time someone draws the character ‘Harrier (Harry) Du Bois’ as a skinny twink an Angel loses its wings.

harry du bois hugely excited by a lava lamp

Has anyone done this already?