Sternschnuppen, Franz von Stuck, 1912.

step one to overcoming social anxiety is to realize that most people kind of suck and their opinion of you is literally worthless

it's almost too late for me to say happy cock day

kill the shift manager in your brain

you are not wasting time you are vibing. you are not being unproductive you are literally chilling. make a grill cheese with cheddar cheese and slather a piece of the bread with some honey and maybe you'll relax

A weighted blanket isn’t enough I need to be laminated

please bring back 2014 indie pop (i could care less that a few of these songs were pre or post the 2014 era if the song fits it fits)

FEEL FREE TO READ THE PART AT THE TOP WHERE I SAY ITS NOT ALL FROM 2014 THANKS!

No Noise November. everyone shut up

This is a very powerful life hack.

Holy Shit

My favorite part is kermits legs sticking out from behind her

@jumbofork

This ABSOLUTELY works.

I have used this for many years. Definitely b do it.

This article was super long-winded so I screenshat the important part

the fact we’re responsible for getting doctors to “lower their defenses” in order to literally just do their jobs is ✨INFURIATING✨

Also have seen a tip where you say "My aunt so and so told me she had these symptoms before she was diagnosed with XYZ. It really scared me that hers almost got missed. Could we please exhaustively rule this out? It really messed her up because they caught it so late and I don't want that to happen to me, and hey, it might not be a bad idea to check that stuff anyway."

Ridiculous that we have to do this, but until medicine gets it's shit together we have to wrap what we already know in cheese, like you would pill a dog.

And yeah, bringing someone with you can help a lot, especially adult and traditionally masculine men. Disgusting!

Thought exercise. You are me, you are hungry, you want to make my world famous pancake recipe. This recipe needs four eggs. You have three eggs. Do you:

a) go to the store. yes you have a cold, but you could be in and out fast. then again you could run into someone you know. embarrassing.

b) go across the street to your grandparent's house and ask to borrow an egg. you may or may not get a lecture about not being at church. is it worth it.

c) use two of the raw eggs and two hard-boiled eggs. surely this will work out fine

if you picked c, congratulations, you correctly picked my thought process. i have committed an affront to god and my tummy hurts so badly

actually oddly enough the pancakes tasted fine, despite all of the bits of whole egg falling out of them, which is where the affront to god kicks in

anyway if this ever happens again i'm just gonna go to the store. experiment failed, we'll get 'em next time

i didn't....i didn't even think to do that

I could've...used other ingredients......?

actually you know what in fairness to me i've been on a lot of cold medicine this week while battling a virus. from now on i'm only making sandwiches

i'm no longer on ungodly amounts of cold medicine! i wish i could tell you i have no memory of making this post, and by extension the pancakes, but unfortunately i do!

The Three Egg Solution Comment Alignment Chart: