oops

The Kirbys of the dog world. (via paul_haine)

wait is 5! = 120 an actual math thing i just reblogged it bc i sincerely believe that yelling a number makes it bigger 

An exclamation point after a number means factorial. Five factorial is 5 times 4 times 3 times 2 times 1. Three factorial is 3 times 2 times 1, etc.

But the more exclamation points after a number, the less big it is, a double factorial is every other number, so 6!! is 6 times 4 times 2, which is less than 6!, So yelling a number makes it bigger, but yelling louder makes it smaller again

it’s because you scared it

I genuinely love this post

I was out with a friend tonight doing one of my fave things. Reading the backs of romance novels aloud. Found this gem.

This is honestly the most wild sounding romance novel I have ever seen and thought it might brighten someone’s day.

OK FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T REALIZE, SANDRA HILL IS THE WOMAN WHO WROTE “ROUGH AMD READY” ANOTHER EROTIC VIKING NOVEL. SOME OF THE MORE MEMORABLE QUOTES BEING:

“As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.”

“Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.”

“Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.”

YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAVE READ THIS TO AT COLLEGE. ONE GUY COMPLETELY LOST IT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES AFTER HEARING THE PHRASE “DICK ANEURYSM.”

signs as niggas you probably gon put up with in your life

aries: the nigga’s probably an athlete, and a star athlete at that. unless he’s 100% committed to you, don’t even try it cuz everyone already loves them and if they’ve got options, they’re trying them. they KNOW they’re fine and they KNOW they’re a catch. loves to be complimented, like will truly BEAM cuz they like knowing you believe in them/think they’re great. taurus: the real nice nigga who’s the netflix, takeout, and chill master. he wants a long-term stable relationship, but since he takes forever to make up his mind (cuz he’s in it for the lang haul), someone gon’ get hurt from him probably having like semi-deep non-committed relationships with 2+ people. knows all the best restaurants, though, and a cuddle monster when they actually wanna be touched.  gemini: the nigga who looks cold and unapproachable but is actually really nice when you finally talk to them. he was sizing you up for mad long cuz he’s not about to talk to you if he thinks it’s gonna be a negative interaction. one day you say or do the wrong thing in his eyes and he switches up for a long ass time if not for life. you don’t know who he really until about three months in when he finally turns off his public persona around you.  cancer: the nigga with all the emotions. like ALL the emotions. he’s gonna pretend he’s hard, and he’ll definitely fight a muhfucka with no hesitation, but they’re gonna cry about it (if not actual crying, you’ll here about how fucked up it was that they were pushed to fight for like two weeks). nice dude and a lot of fun, but moody and very literal. makes no assumptions about being together and expects you do the same. leo: you know them niggas who dress for like lookbook.nu with fancy Polo socks and shit? that’s these niggas. look great, expect you to look great, too. need to feel in charge, at least in public. carries themselves like they own everywhere they go. most likely to be a momma’s boy along with capricorn. sexy and he fucking knows it and definitely feels you should know it, too.  virgo: he’s got huge ambitions, but if he’s not fulfilling them currently, he’s a pessimist and cranky like hell. mad fun, likes going on adventures and hanging out unless he’s in a funky unfulfilled mood. WILL challenge you to follow your dreams and talents and get irked with you if you don’t take their advice. they don’t take themselves too seriously, but if you take them for a joke/act like they can’t handle their shit, they’ll immediately resent it and you. shitty at texting unless y’all are brand new talking to each other.  libra: he’s gorgeous, he can dress, his hair/facial hair is always clean as fuck. either he’s always got money (cuz he likes nice things and gotta work to get em) or he’s broke (cuz he’s mooching off someone). you and his other 3 girlfriends all have the same pet name. ask him about other girls and he’ll start complaining about how you don’t trust him, but he’ll also brag about how other girls flirt with him (and how he supposedly curved em) scorpio: big emotions – big mad, big happy, big sad, big hurt, big vengeful. whether or not you see it is another story. can and will baby/spoil you if you’re with them. disappears cuz he’s upset (or to avoid sharing feelings) and pops back up chillin. will quickly remind you that y’all are not together (either explicitly or indirectly) and then turn around and try to fuck you like it’s y’all anniversary night. J E A L O U S. sagittarius: he doesn’t want your advice lol he just wants you to listen. the nigga who, unless he’s really examined himself, you gotta run from. as in, your momma said you gotta come home right now immediately. sweet as hell, but also a gaslighting master. this is the nigga that gets upset and then gotta turn into cuba gooding jr. swinging at the air in boyz in da hood and fight everyone cuz they’re hurt. if yall argue, he’s gonna act like he’s right even if he’s wrong.  capricorn: the nigga that’s probably going places. swears he’s busy all the time (he’s only lying 30-40% of the time). talented and doing something about it. the nigga who really wants you to “be a lady” if you’re a woman, like keep yourself together and go out for business casual dinner after work. y’all break up cuz he got a new job (and a new partner) in a new city. the alpha male that still cares what his boys think too much. aquarius: funny as hell if he’s a pothead cuz then he says all the weird shit he thinks. the “i mean, i GUESS we go together” type of nigga, like his main commitment is to himself and being stress-free as possible (even if it’s to a detriment), so if you not going along with that vibe, his attention’s gone. party nigga but then STUPID quiet if y’all alone sometimes.   pisces: most likely to not be over his ex (along with scorpio, libra, and cancer) so make sure you don’t look like them. sensitive but not gonna admit it even though it’s probably obvious .he just wants to share earbuds with you and vibe out (but he wants to control the music). generally happy nigga, you won’t know he’s gonna break from emotions til he actually does and turns into a fucking puddle.

I REALLY FUCKING LOVE THIS OKAY

shoutout to the time my mom was hammered and i heard her trying to tell my dad that she murdered her first husband years ago and my dad very patiently said “i saw glenn in an elevator last week”

Me

the world has been on a constant downfall ever since 2015 when yall decided to chose meghan trainor instead of carly rae jepsen 

found something incredible on eBay today

When someone comes in on a Sunday with a big banana and expects everything to be peaches:

a humanitarian

goddess.

Nice

hes talkin bout yall

adhdalistair:

i can’t believe i leveled up enough to unlock cake pillow guy’s backstory

I can’t believe the “sweet dreams” joke didn’t occur to me