thanks @ my cat for standing on my keyboard and reblogging 50 of the same tater tots photo love u
i doubt anyone remembers but about 5 or 6 years ago my cat, sweetiepie, stood on my laptop keyboard and reblogged 50 photos of tater tots through a shortcut.
as of christmas eve, she isn’t doing well. i don’t expect her to last much longer. if she is still alive in the morning (12/27), i am going to make the tough decision to put her down, as she is suffering and it breaks my heart.
she lived a long life. from 2003 til almost 2021 — 18 years.
she passed away about 30 minutes after i wrote this. i love you sweetiepie 💖💖💖
Just about blocked you over some damn tater tots(jk ily)
“u go sit in the corner and think about what u did!!!”
i was literally cry laughing about the fact that i kept scrolling down my dash and i kept seeing the tater tots hahahahha
she’s posing with her asks
i AM FUCKING DYING I JUST NOW SAW YOUR POST AWH LOOK AT THAT LITTLE INNOCENT TATER TOTS LOVER
it was a dark time
Tater tots
thanks @ my cat for standing on my keyboard and reblogging 50 of the same tater tots photo love u
i doubt anyone remembers but about 5 or 6 years ago my cat, sweetiepie, stood on my laptop keyboard and reblogged 50 photos of tater tots through a shortcut.
as of christmas eve, she isn’t doing well. i don’t expect her to last much longer. if she is still alive in the morning (12/27), i am going to make the tough decision to put her down, as she is suffering and it breaks my heart.
she lived a long life. from 2003 til almost 2021 — 18 years.
hello i want to sincerely apologize for having the url “danthrusts” as 14,15,16 year old girl. i feel like that may have been uncomfortable for some people (including the person it was referring to, if he ever knew abt my account — sorry bro)
Fun fact: Jesus died a Capricorn and came back an Aries, ain’t that fun?
Anon? Hey, Anon? This is by far the funniest fucking ask I have ever received
Got to love Watsky’s words of wisdom
everytime i get 6 likes on a post i quit my job and move to los angeles
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
[Audio transcription: I wanted to tell you one story. Uh. This is the story of the best meal I’ve ever had in my life, okay. Happened when I was eleven years old in Chicago, IL where I grew up. I went to a place called the Salt & Pepper Diner, uh, with my best friend John. We walk into the diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, okay? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in 7 dollars and selected 21 plays of of Tom Jones’s What’s New Pussycat. And then we ordered and waited.
Here’s the thing about when, uh, What’s New Pussycat plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not ‘hey someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again.’ It’s ‘hey, What’s New Pussycat is a lot longer than I first thought. The third time it plays you’re thinking maybe someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again. The fourth time it plays you’re either thinking ‘whoa someone just played What’s New Pussycat FOUR TIMES or at least someone played it twice, and it’s a really long song.’ So the fifth time is the kicker, alright?
Now, John and I we’re watching the entire diner at this point, alright? Most people have gotten wind as to what’s going on. And we’re staring at this one guy and he’s sitting in like a booth with his stupid kids jumping around, and he’s like staring at his coffee cup like this, and he’s been onto us since the beginning. And he’s sitting there, and his hand is shaking, and he had this look on his face like, aw, like he had just gotten his thirty day chip from anger management. And he’s staring like this, and the fourth song fades out. It’s dead quiet. Then, I don’t know if you know this, but the song begins very quietly…
BWAAAH BWAAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT and he goes GOD DAMN IT and pounds on the table, silverware flies everywhere, and it was fantastic. But a word about my best friend John and what a genius he was because when we first walked into the diner, okay? When we first got there and I’m punching in the What’s New Pussycats alright? I’ve punched in like 7 at this point then John says to me ‘hey hey hey before you punch in another What’s New Pussycat let’s drop in one It’s Not Unusual.’
Oh yes. That is when the afternoon went from good to great. After seven What’s New Pussycats. In a row - It played seven times. Suddenly - Dum da dum, IT’S NOT UNUSUAL and the sigh of relief that swept through the diner. People were so happy. It was like the liberation of France. You know for years scientists have wondered can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’s It’s Not Unusual and the answer is yes you can. Provided that it is preceded by seven What’s New Pussycats. It’s true. Dead honest.
And on the other hand. When we went back. Holy shit. It’s Not Unusual fade out. It’s dead quiet. BWAAAH BWAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT people went insane. People went out of their minds. No one could handle it. No one could handle it. And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff that was just like ‘yup some crap as always.’
They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays. And that was the best meal I ever had.]
reblogging again coz this time it has audio transcription (bless you) and it’s still forever hilarious omg
I thank thee for audio transcription
people are saying everything is a love language nowadays. and they right. love is in everything u fucking geniuses
just shower thoughts
soap
I saw these and just had to take a photo. My dog wasn't happy that I paused her walk though 🌺
bro, bro ur hand looks heavy. let me hold it for u.