People are not grateful enough for all the time they spend not having hiccups

When you walk behind your group cuz u walm too fast but u end up kicking their heels

walm

walm

walm

walm

walm

get his ass

Reasons my new physics prof is adorable

- on the first day of class he brought his favorite toy truck from when he was a child - is from Argentina and has a cute accent and sometimes speaks in Spanish on accident - teaches us Spanish phrases for fun - very tall and awkward and has super curly hair that falls into his face constantly - giggles at his own jokes - on the second day of class he showed us pictures of his cat eating a salami - the cat’s name is Pants

- i saw his teaching notes today and he doodles little flowers in the margins of his notebook

- Brought us a smiley face balloon to cheer us up when the weather was bad

- played with legos for half the class

- likes balloons a whole lot

It’s now the middle of summer. I do research in the physics department, my office is right across the hall from his. And so:

- He knows I’m into observational astronomy and despite him being a nuclear astrophysicist himself he will email me (and some of the other observationalists) interesting articles and videos about astronomy, usually and around 2am, the poor insomniac

- He became a dad yesterday! In his email he said “sorry, I won’t be in this week, I’ll be frantically googling how to take care of a newborn instead”

- his last name is Estrada and so I simply replied “congratulations on becoming an Estradad!!!” To which he replied “:D”

Pure

so i’m currently working at a law firm and the other day one of the attorneys was talking to me and he mentioned that he’s “not very confrontational” and i was like you are?? a lawyer???

and he said “yeah but in court there are rules. i can argue with some shmuck in a suit in front of a judge no problem, but when i leave the courthouse and go home i’m not gonna argue with my wife about dinner. there are no rules in our kitchen. i would die.”

there are no rules in our kitchen.  i would die.

BULBASAUR PICKED OUT A BULBASAUR COOKIE

“this is me”

scientist: hey dad, I discovered a new spider today! and I named it after you

dad: thanks son! I really needed this today, the boys at work were making fun of my long legs again. what did you call it? :)

scientist: uh…

they’re just chillin

me & mutuals

Six Decades of the Most Popular Names for Girls

What the fuck was with Jennifer holy shit

im going to take a shot in the dark and say ^that state is Montana

the funny thing is that that actually is Montana

My major takeaway from this is that we’ve been using the wrong name in our memes all this time: if she’s a middle-aged soccer mom, statistically her name is Jennifer.

gays and neurodivergent ppl are obsessed with cryptids, the fae, liminal spaces, etc because we often exist on the fringe of society and lack well-defined social identities, feeling such acute isolation from the “normal” world that we align ourselves more with things that are literally not of this world. in this essay i will

how come you only become aware of how tipsy you are in bathrooms

Allow yourself to be a beginner. No one starts off being excellent.

when i was really little, my babysitter only spoke spanish with me so i became bilingual but i never knew when i was speaking spanish or english. one time i told my mom i wanted an avocado & she understood but then when i said the same thing to my babysitter later that day, she burst into tears with laughter because i was saying “quiero abogado” which means “i want a lawyer.”

imagine a two year old repeatedly saying “i want a lawyer!” as an adult laughs at her.

Reminding me of also funny story: So my piano teacher of many years when I was a kid had a baby when I was in my teens. This little girl was super bright, and also bilingual in Mandarin and English from her first word. 

I do not speak Mandarin. At all. 

One day as I’m waiting for my mom to pick me up after the lesson, Baby Girl is playing in the kitchen and hears me sneeze! And she runs over and says, “You need [incomprehensible]?” 

Now here’s the thing: I knew she was not speaking Mandarin. I don’t speak it, but my aunt and uncle both do, and a close family friend’s family growing up would code-switch quite comfortably around us. I was old enough and it was sufficiently different from English that because there was no formal teaching, I never derived anything from it? But I was very familiar with how it sounds to an uncomprehending ear. 

What she said did not sound like Mandarin at all. It sounded like gibberish. Like English baby gibberish. 

As I clearly didn’t understand, Baby Girl repeats, “You need [gibberish]!” and then, when I still don’t understand, she stamps her foot and makes Angry Noise at me, which attracts her mother’s attention. 

Bewildered, I relate what’s going on. Her mother covers her face and says, “She wants to know if you want a kleenex.” 

And then my piano teacher explained that Baby Girl had figured out that some people didn’t speak English and some people didn’t speak Mandarin and she needed to confine herself to one language around them. 

But sometimes, as is very natural especially for quite young children, she’d run up against realizing she didn’t know the word for something - and sometimes she knew the word in one language, but not in the other! 

And it seemed intuitive to her that the way to fix this was to say the word from the other language … with the right accent. 

So what she’d been doing was taking the word for “tissue” or “kleenex” in Mandarin and saying it like an Anglophone would: no tone-change and different vowel shapes and all. And it made Baby Girl VERY FRUSTRATED when this did not solve the problem, and at that point she seemed to believe that the adults around her were being stupid on purpose. 

children are amazing