This Guy Pets His Dog Everywhere He Goes

Photos by Honza Řeháček - Via Bored Panda

Every time I see a post about updog I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help the poster complete their joke.

okay but what’s updog ?

Updog is a long sausage in a bun often served with ketchup, mustard, onion e, and/or relish.

No, that’s a hotdog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released

You’re thinking of update. Updog is when you end a sentence with a rising intonation.

No, that’s uptalk.  You’re thinking of the fourth-largest city in Sweden.

surely that’s Uppsala, whereas Updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs

You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

no that’s an updraft

updog isn’t a noun at all, it’s a verb; it basically means to chew someone out, or harshly lecture them

No, that’s upbraid. An updog is a small dog that likes cuddling on people’s laps.

No that’s a puppydog. An updog is when the Mets win.

No that’s an upset. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

What’s a henway?

Oh, about 5 pounds.

Not much, what’s up with you dog?

but it was NOT YOUR FAULT BUT MINE

and it was YOUR HEART ON THE LINE

i really FUCKED IT UP THIS TIME

didn’t I MY DEAR

didn’t I my -

the most underrated moment in movie history is when darcy pretends to be jane so bingley can practice proposing

I wonder if Thor’s Allspeak extends to animals

Bee: *is present*

Thor, turning to Tony: He says this stupid damn city needs more flowers and pollen-bearing plants because you’re making him have to work a 16-hour shift every day just to feed his wife and kids

Tony: What the fuck Thor we’ve talked about this

Dog: *Bark bark bark*

Thor, sternly: No, Captain America’s pants are not fit for consumption

Steve, with no idea that Thor can speak dog: ???!?!????!!!??

Fly: *hums*

Thor, leaping from his chair: Oh what the FUCK did you say about my hair?? Oh you want to fuckign go do you?? Is that what you fucking want??? Well Step the FUCK UP then you stupid ass buzzy BITCH *summons lightning*

DUM-E: *Beep boops*

Thor, patting Tony on the back: well done my friend

Tony: For what?

Thor: Your robot is telling me all about how well his dad oiled up his joints this morning and keeps saying ‘I love him’ on repeat. He has been doing this for an hour.

Tony, immediately tearing up: oh my fucking god Thor

REBLOG IF YOU LOVE DOGS

9 million people fucking love dogs

Here we come 10.

BREAK THE POST

BREAK THE POST

BREAK THE POST

my dad just exploded into laughter out of nowhere and told me ‘imagine the lion king but with sea lions’ he has been chuckling about it for 5 straight minutes now

apparently it doesn’t matter that i’ve told him 10 times it’s the monkey who raises the newborn and not the lion himself, this is the scene he has been imagining

“he can’t raise his kid over his head”

I want it

okay but have you considered

quality content

Extreme quality

@squorkal can it be my job to find you seal posts? Because I want that job

experiment goal: to determine whether smarties are an effective tea sweetener

hypothesis: smarties will sweeten the tea, but also introduce unwelcome flavor profiles due to their flavoring

procedure: procured one cup (≈12 fl oz) of Barry’s Tea Gold Blend black tea, hot. added 2/3 of a single roll of smarties candy (10 candies). wait for candies to dissolve, then stir well. tea will be sampled after stirring concludes.

addendum: control group was used. control sample consisted of one cup of the same type of tea, sweetened with white sugar. results will depend on the relative tastes of the control and smarties tea

results: smarties tea was significantly more bitter and less sweet than sugar tea. additionally, the smarties failed to dissolve in the expected manner, and when stirred, ended up breaking down into particulates that refused to dissolve. 

conclusions: because of the chemical/structural makeup of smarties, they do not function well as an ad hoc tea sweetener because of their reluctance to break down. it may be the case that crushed smarties would work better, but this experiment was intended to study how normal, uncrushed smarties would work as a sweetener

This seems like something everyone should know if they’re in the sciences and/or interested in reading scientific papers.

Also, Sci-Hub is totally not a thing that doesn’t allow you to access papers, so don’t even think of trying it. This isn’t the link, so don’t bookmark it: https://sci-hub.tw/

Do you guys know why I’m so adamant about you vaccinating your kids?

I’m immunocomprimised. It means my immune system is weakened. I have very weak lungs and I rely on herd immunity to stay safe.

I’m allergic to the shot people get for whooping cough. How do I know? I had a 3 week, painful reaction. Now, this was a while ago, before shit hit the fan with the whole anti-vax movement.

But do you know what my doctor told me? It was safer for me to get the shot that I’m ALLERGIC TO than rely on herd immunity because if I get the shot, I’ll be in moderate-severe pain for about 3 weeks max. If I get the disease, I will die. My lung capacity is bad enough, but my body is too weak to fight the disease.

So not only are you putting your child’s life at risk by not vaccinating them, you’re putting mine and all the other people who cannot be vaccinated at risk because of a selfish decision that isn’t backed by science.

god THIS. vaccinate your kids and vaccinate yourself too. my dad is also immunocompromised and relies on herd immunity. neither he nor anyone who lives with us can get live-virus vaccines (we can only get ones where the virus is inert/dead) because if he’s exposed to the weakened virus he will contract whatever disease it is, so herd immunity is SUPER important for everyone in our family.

the anti-vax bullshit HURTS people. my dad has been hospitalized before just from a common flu because people he knew didn’t get their flu shots, came in to work with the flu, and got him sick. even with my dad’s healthy lifestyle, the fact that he’s immunocompromised from leukemia means even a really common and easily treatable disease (the flu, bronchitis, whooping cough) could straight up kill him.

fuckin. vaccinate.

Also do you know how many people in the community are immunocompromised?

In short, YOU KNOW LOTS OF IMMUNOCOMPROMISED PEOPLE. Unless you are a hermit, YOU INTERACT WITH IMMUNOCOMPROMISED PEOPLE ON A DAILY BASIS. GET VACCINATED!!!!