Blep.

The last time we were on a long flight, my wife and I invented a game we call "Little Guy."

You start a game of Little Guy by saying, "I'm gonna hand you a little guy." The little guy is some kind of baby animal you are imagining. "Oh," she might say in response, "Okay," and hold out her hands for it. I will then mime handing her the animal. This provides some clues as to the little guy's size, weight, and general ungainliness.

She then gets to ask questions about what kind of little guy this is, BUT NO QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS ACTUAL APPEARANCE OR SPECIES ARE ALLOWED. Qualitative questions, or questions about his behavior, are the only ones permitted. She can ask "Is he soft?" or "Does he seem nervous about being held?" or "If I put him in the bathtub, does he seem okay with that?" or "Would he like a lil grape?" or "Is he the sort of little fellow who would wear a vest in a children's book?" but not "Does he have fur," "Is he a reptile," "Is he from Asia," etc. Some questions are in a grey area so you have to follow your heart, but the point is not to identify the animal as fast as possible: the point is to guess the animal purely based on vibes + how he would act if he were in your living room right now.

And I'm not limited to yes or no answers! If she asks, "Would it feel appropriate to see this little guy in a propeller hat?" I can reply, "Oh no, he has a gravity to him. A bowler hat would be a more appropriate hat." Or if she asks, "Does this little guy have protagonist energy?" I can say something like, "he probably wouldn't be the main character in a children's cartoon. He'd probably be the main character's ditzy best friend who's always eating sandwiches, or something."

We're big Twenty Questions to kill time in a waiting room people, but Little Guy is more about the journey than the destination. It's got a different kind of sauce that's nice if "killing time" and "lowering anxiety" need to happen hand in hand.

@nsomniacsdream you and your spouse should play this

explanations for house not dropping f-bombs:

🔺️🔥🔺️❤️🔺️❤️‍🔥

Please check out Crow Time on Webtoon!

for my fellow solitaireheads

There’s a plant called the “TomTato” which is a cherry tomato plant with potatoes as roots. It yields large quantities of both tomatoes and spuds.

OK BUT YOU LEFT OUT THAT THEY CALL IT “KETCHUP N’ FRIES” IN MARKETING.

the fun thing about this is while it may be marketed ts you can do this yourself. it usually comes as grown seedlings or potted plant if its the genuine deal and not fake amazon seeds (fake seeds and seed scams are a big thing on amazon). but anyways these plants are made via grafting which is really pretty simple.

right now late june might be too late to try this out and get good results BUT. pick out any variety of tomato plant you like best. i prefer a good slicing tomato for sandwiches, not cherry tomatoes. any thing like Better Boy or even Black Cherokee is tasty. the other part is choosing a potato plant. you got to pick out a potato you like too. this has to be done before either plant starts fruiting or blossoming in the spring.

here’s you a video how to assemble your Frankenstein plant :D

“sometimes you can just tape two sorta-related plants together and get double crop frankenplant” is one of my favorite biology hacks.

this is problematic of me (joke) but i really enjoy the splashing of french into english speech or writing. just adds a pizzazz

*adds a certain je ne sais quoi

see the problem is that despite around 8 years of french schooling the french language has utterly escaped my brain so even the most obvious set up i had created for myself by accident was missed by me. such is life.

*c'est la vie

god damn it

*sacré bleu

that scene in cap 2 when nick fury took that sharp turn and lost the fake cops after him and the gunshots subsided and his gps thing was like ‘getting you to a secure location’ and you really thought, you Really Thought!!!! he was Safe But then it got TOO quiet and fucking ominous music started playing in the background and the previously unfocused camera focused on this dude, decked in ALL Black, in the middle of the fucking street, holding a fucking Bazooka, and He BLOWS up furys suv, sees it coming straight for him, and takes ONE(1) nonchalant step to the Side???: UNPARALLELED 

#CA:TWS does a really good job of establishing characters’ competence BEFORE they tangle with the WS #Fury evades a coordinated death squad before the WS almost casually blows his car to shit #Steve takes out an entire elevator of STRIKE guys bare-handed before he fights the Soldier and barely holds his own #this also makes Pierce a FUCKLOAD scarier for being someone willing to slap the Soldier around #that movie did a really good job establishing characters’ skill/power levels by showing rather than telling #and they converted those insights directly into suspense in a way the MCU has never done again     (via galwednesday)

This is definitely a dude living his best life.

This is TWO dudes living their best lives, and I'm so fucking happy every time I see Jack Black and Kyle Gass together because how often do you actually get to see the spotlight on two people -- one of whom is a HUGE film star at this point -- who are fat and aging and yet also still goofing and rocking and enjoying one another's company despite the wild changes life has brought their way?

Kyle has talked about the difficulty he faced in watching his partner hit it big without him, and how they communicated about that and how they balance their friendship with their respective creative pursuits when they're not working on a Tenacious D project. I respect the fuck out of him for putting in the work to maintain that friendship and I respect the fuck out of both of them for being Peak Fat Old Goof Goals

if you don’t know the difference between a hare and a rabbit you’ve never gazed into the cold wild eyes of a hare and known that if it could speak it would speak backwards

Jack Rabbits are North American Hares and they’re the WORST to encounter at night becuase:

@gallusrostromegalus that last bit gave me such a strong mental image I absolutely had to draw it

WELL HOLY SHIT.

CONGRATULATE, THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GOING FOR.

is it ok if I print it out and stick it on the fridge?

HOLY FUCK THERE’S AN AUDIOPOST NOW.

I LOVE IT.

See this shit? This is why I love Tumblr

This is what an evil boop looks like.

Further Americanisms that tell you to check on your American:

been better = in hell

doin’ alright = sad, needs hug

pretty great! = genuine actual baseline. Anything else ranks beneath this. Be Aware.

I’m here, ain’t I? = Defcon 5

Because someone asked, indications that an American is actually Having A Good Day include:

"Livin' the Dream!" - actively daydreaming about swandiving into a woodchipper

One of my least favorite mental illness things is "hungry but dont feel like eating" and its companions "hungry but all the food in the house is Illegal," "hungry but can't make anything," and "hungry, want to eat, but why bother"

Also the adhd friend “hungry but unaware of hunger because current activity is too captivating”

"Hungry but I'll get to it later"

“Definite not hungry, nope, but upon forcing oneself to eat something, discovering that the food vanished in 30 seconds and the pervasive feelings of ickiness all vanished, what the fuck"

Hungry but only for one specific food. I do not know what that food is but i do know i don't have it in the house

Stomach grumbling in desparation, meanwhile tongue pleading for mercy not to have to eat.

Great work everybody, hit the showers

The only reason why transphobes always ask “what is a woman” instead of “what is a man” is because we all know that a man is a featherless biped.

It’s 2023, women can have as many legs and feathers as they want- get with the times.

BEHOLD! TUMBLR'S WOMAN!

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Yeah, that tracks.

You guys just have to trust me on this one and click here okay?

OH MY GOD I NEEDED THIS

For the chronically anxious and/or otherwise mentally ill:

This is not a screamer, jumpscare, or any other kind of horror link I don’t know the name of. It will not cause you to question reality and as far as I’m aware, there is no reason it should cause any kind of hallucinations or psychosis. I don’t want to spoil the surprise because it’s DELIGHTFUL but I am happy to tell you it’s very sweet and gentle and also great lowkey stress relief. This is a cinnamon roll link appropriate for all ages (yes, all the way down to babies) and you will enjoy it if you click it. ❤️

This makes me so happy