Dumb Bitch McGee

My favourite thing is when the pixel art videogame lets you walk on the bed and it makes it look like you are under the blankie

Every time I watch Hannibal I always forget how constantly he's just Up To Something. Like it makes sense for the titular character who's also a serial killer to have some machinations going that drive the plot, but Hannibal really is just causing problems for fun every second he's onscreen for three whole seasons

let me end the sex scene discourse right here and now: sex scenes are not allowed when im watching tv with my parents in the room but sex scenes are allowed when im watching tv alone - i hope this clears it up

Sun Tzu is so fucking funny to me because for his time he was legitimately a brilliant tactician but a bunch of his insight is shit like "if you think you might lose, avoid doing that", "being outnumbered is bad generally", and "consider lying."

My personal favourite is his lengthy lecture on the subject of Supplies Being Very Important I Cannot Stress Enough The Importance Of Protecting Your Supply Lines But Also Supply Lines Are Expensive As Shit So Steal The Enemy’s Supplies At Every Opportunity. 

via- @elidyce

One of the more important things to consider about any historical work is the audience it was published for. The Art Of War was aimed at fancy nobles high on philosophy with little practical military experience who were nonetheless leading armies.

Sun Tzu, after desperatly trying to explain extremely basic logic to a bunch of upper-class twits, basically sat down and wrote the most elaborate "As per my last email" ever

the art of war is tedious and irritating when you read it as like, immortal prose by the most brilliant man ever to kick ass. but it’s incredibly fucking funny when you realize that sun tzu had to write every single one of those entries because someone somewhere did not know this ahead of time and made a really, really expensive oopsie doodles.

garf :3 💜💙

the full strip

That makes it WORSE

type “i am” in the tags and whatever comes up first is your new mandatory kin

thinking abt when someone rests their head on your shoulder and suddenly you're barely breathing because you don't want to disrupt their comfort by moving. will never get over how there can be so much love held in silent gestures.

So for over a month and a half I’ve been told in my Creative writing MA class that my writing is too poetic and abstract to work in the form of a novel and that I need to simplify my meanings and sentences. I did as I was told and lost all interest in writing if I have to write in the same style that every other novelist does. Today I received this note from a classmate and didn’t realise how much I needed to hear it. Don’t change your art just because other people don’t get it. Don’t change your style to fit in with everyone else. It’s your story not theirs.

This post is 4 years old, but for anyone who needs to hear it I want to tack on the advice my Creative Writing professor told the class I was in: "Not everyone is going to get what you're trying to do. So a lot of the advice your classmates write on your papers might feel Wrong to you. If it feels Wrong and you don't think they understand your story, don't take their advice because they are not your audience."

Sounds like the initial advice for OP to tone down her natural voice was incorrect, but thankfully one of her classmates that was part of the audience wants to hear that voice.

1998, Edward Said.

"Israel was constructed on the ruins of another society."

via conflictechoes on insta

“A 16th c. Scottish Plaid was Found in a Bog–Now Becomes Oldest Historical Tartan Available to Wear Today”

Clan Bog

There’s that post that’s like ‘everyone should get into a tiny niche fandom at least once’ fully agree, that was really fun -- but I would like to add that everyone should get into a fandom where their opinions run counter to major fanon because it really teaches you about sticking to your guns and trusting your interpretation of the text without having to rely on peer validation

because WHAT are people talking about sometimes

yknow i never noticed the sheer rareness of images having ids or alt text on this website until i started adding alt text to my art (and trying to remember to add it to any images i post in general, especially text screenshots) and that makes me kinda sad

I feel like a lot of people just don't know how to do it or are intimidated by the prospect. I was too, actually, and I couldn't find any good guides on how to do it (beyond basic formatting) and most guides boiled down to "just describe what you see and important details!" I really wanted to add alt text bc accessibility is important to me, but I would always get kinda stumped on how to do it.

But then I saw this image, I think in a discord server, and I immediately started doing it. It kinda broke the ice for me

Oh my goodness thank you!!

if I say "I have to Austin Powers my car out of a parking space," do you understand what i mean

like this?

did i ever tell you guy about the time i got stuck in a room with the kpop band BTS in the santiago airport in 2017

so at the time i was traveling a lot for work, which is important context because it meant that i’d gotten very – or, one might argue, TOO – comfortable in airports and also that i was constantly in the wrong timezone and almost never thinking like a regular person. and on this particular trip i’d been in like 4 different countries and santiago was my last stop and literally all i wanted to do was like, get there, get to my hotel, and sleep. but for reasons that were not clear to me at the time, the airport seemed to be conspiring to keep me from doing this, because it was busy and because – it seemed – it was understaffed, with people being funneled through just one exit door.

now, part of the problem, in defense of the airport and its staff, was that at the time i was carrying this huge plank, which was sort of supposed to be a cheese board, but it didn’t look like a cheese board, it just looked like a huge plank. and the reason i was carrying it was because it had been a gift from the staff of a homeless shelter i’d just been at. and i’m not saying that so that you guys know i’m a good person i’m saying it because i need you to picture me with huge dark circles under my eyes, carrying a suitcase and this massive, misshapen plank that i kept insisting was “for cheese.”

anyway, once we all agreed that it was okay for me to keep my Cheese Wood, and having been to santiago many times before this, i knew that there was another exit door after customs. even though we were all sort of being funneled toward Door B, there was nobody stationed in front of Door A, and it didn’t seem like you weren’t allowed to go, it just seemed like one of those things where because the only bag-X-ray-machine things in use were close to Door B, that’s where everyone was going.

so in my little brain i thought, aha. this is one of those things where people join lines but they don’t have to! this is sheepery! i’m taking my cheese wood and i’m going rogue.

so anyway i went through Door A.

you know how usually when you go through the first set of doors in an airport you enter into this big bustling area where all the car rentals and currency exchanges etc are and it’s stressful and busy?

this was not like that.

this was like that guy on tiktok who’s like “oooo i’m in a parallel universe where i’m the only one left on earth” except in my case it was me, a single Avis employee, and, of course, the extremely famous kpop band BTS.

the room got very quiet. there were a couple of cameramen if i’m remembering rightly, and a woman with like …. a clipboard or something?, and then this group of boys, all of whom were now looking at me.

i was tired but not a moron so i very quickly realized this was not a room meant for me so i turned around, but i had gone through one of those doors where once you go through in one direction you can’t go back. so i was stuck.

i turned around again. they were still all looking at me.

i was like, “uhhhhh.”

they were like, “uhhhhh.”

the poor lady with the clipboard said something very nervously in korean, presumably whatever is korean for, “uhhhhh.”

anyway, one thing about me is, i frequently find myself in situations where the only way out is through, so what i did was kind of half wave my Cheese Wood at them – which made EVERYBODY flinch – and then go over to the Avis employee and say, “i need to get a taxi.”

he was like, “you might … want to wait?” and gestured at the guys standing in the middle of the room, who were still looking at me with what was rapidly becoming clear was worry.

i’m a little nervous about putting any other words in quotations, bc no offense but BTS fans are very intense and i don’t want to inaccurately quote their beloveds, but i think once it became clear to them that i wasn’t a threat, i was just stupid, everybody seemed to relax.

in english, i said, “should i wait?” and gestured at the door.

one of them, and i’m really sorry but i have no idea which, the only thing i remember about them was one had blue hair and one very like … reddish? like you know that kpop red hair color??, said, “you should go first.”

so the Avis guy went over to the taxi stand and reserved me a taxi and let me pay in advance. we were all kind of standing awkwardly. i was like, “sorry about this.”

the BTS boys were very nice to me. we didn’t really talk a lot, we sort of did that thing where we laughed companionably at each other about how weird the situation was, and they were like, “it’s okay,” when i kept apologizing. i kind of remember that we nervously kind of chatted about nothing, but they were clearly nervous and i was very embarrassed so i sort of blacked it all out. i feel like mostly i was speaking to the one with red hair? and white hair, i think one had white hair?

eventually Clipboard Lady came over and started gesturing toward the door, indicating i should go. i looked at the band for confirmation. the one who’d been speaking to me was like, “yeah, it’s okay, you can go.” and then paused, and then, i do remember this, went, “umm, good luck.”

i was like ????? bro i’ve taken taxis before and i speak fluent spanish, but i didn’t say that out loud. out loud i said, “thanks! you too,” and then felt very stupid about it.

the band stepped back, which i now know was so that they couldn’t be seen through the doors when they opened, but at the time sort of felt like they were gently clearing the way for the dumb stray with her huge stick that they’d found. i waved goodbye. they waved back. i stepped forward. the doors began to open.

a roar went up.

i mean like.

it was loud. we were at an airport and it was louder than the planes, it felt like. they were so excited. they were going to see the band they loved!!!!! BTS was coming out!!!!

the speed at which silence fell will honestly probably haunt me forever. eventually, one girl went, “WHERE ARE THEY?”

i pointed at the airport. “they’re in the airport,” i said. i didn’t have to shout. that’s how quiet it was.

“do you know them????”

i was like, “no. i’m just trying to get to my hotel.” i waved my cheese wood as if this would somehow make clear that i was here on business that had nothing to do with the 7 korean boys in the room behind me.

the girl said, “when are they coming out?”

“i honestly have no idea. probably soon?” i guessed, and was saved from more questions by somebody’s dad taking pity on me and leading me to where the taxis were waiting.

“what’s that?” he asked as he helped me lift my suitcase into the trunk, pointing at the plank in my hand.

“it’s for cheese,” i said.

i think having a little kitty cat walking around the house at all times is important