Remember to leave out milk and cookies for Captain America tonight when he comes to leave presents under your flag.

me pitching a show to netflix: okay so queer eye but instead the gays fuck up the lives of men who deserve it

Queere Eye for an Eye

*phone vibrates while sitting on it*

my kink is being a meaningful part of someone’s life

I’ve met this girl 😂

IM CRYING

jokes over all you fuckers

“In an incredibly disheartening study”

me: how am i? really? as if u care lmao. im so SICK of small talk,. i want someone who asks about my day and MEANS it, wipes my tears and tells me im beautiful without make up on, but all boys do is lie.maybe love wasn’t made for people like me

walmart employee: ma'am,

sir,

you may be wondering, but why did you block out his url? you always get discourse, but this is the first time you’ve blocked out a url, why? well son let me explain. firstly, im not your real dad. secondly, this guy has a literal urine kink. his blog is actual peeing porn. urine. a real live grown man person. i am cryign as i type this

Reblog if u cannot wait to start middle school and get away from all the drama lies and tears from elementary school <|3

sometimes? i just be holding my titty