I’m starting to fall into the groove. The decision to go and do the thing everyday is becoming easier. Will power with staying the course on food is strong. Even though everything is still hard, things are good right now on the “be better” front.

Today was a push. Woke up early with the baby, got her back down and went for a 5k walk, then did an afternoon strength session - while on hour of my IF today. My “heavy” weight was something I’d toss around warming up several months ago. Humbling. But I’m trying to be smart about it all this time around. I’m notorious for going way too hard and burning out when it comes to trying to lose weight. No wonder it would never stick. Also, there’s no sense in trying to go too heavy too quick and getting injured. My girls are too important for that kind of nonsense.

But it’s still hard. I’m still soaked in sweat. I’m still exhausted. And I’m still loving it. I’ve missed this feeling, and it’s good to have it back. I could do without developing and ripping a blister in the same workout though...

I can remember a time - not too long ago, actually - that this would have been an easy warmup for me. Today, it was a hard workout.

It’s hard to come back after a few weeks off... even harder after 11 weeks I off with sleep deprivation and terrible food choices, but we got a pretty cool baby out of it, so not a total loss. I’ve also started intermittent fasting again - goal is 16-18 hours a day. Since I’m not new to it, it’s going pretty well for first week back. I’m even tracking food. I know... #fitblr, amirite?

Running is hard.

Starting over is harder.

Getting older and falling apart is hardest.

But fall running is seriously the best.

Forewarning: weird feels/words/post ahead. Suddenly, I was awake. Got up and got out for a morning run - it’s been a minute since I’ve done that. No watch or tracker, just me, a purple shuffle and The Habitat. I’m guessing about 2 miles, probably less. Regardless - I just needed to get out and clear my head to start the day fresh. If you follow my wife, then you may already know it’s stressful times surrounding us. There’s been a lot of feels and emotions that I can’t explain and much less understand. Quick to anger over nothing, lose it over a comment, flip from happy to grump at the click of a mouse, and cry at the slightest signs of empathy - and I’m talking about myself. I can’t begin to fathom what she’s going through... what you’re going through. I know it’s enough to tear some people apart - but not us. The one trump to shadow them all is love, and it’s overflowing. I love my wife. And she is enough for me. She doesn’t have to do or give anything else to draw more love from me - she has it all. And she is... you are perfectly enough.

Well, this happened... and right when I was thinking about a “comeback.” Maybe it’s a sign. Maybe it’s a sign for something completely different. But it’s my (blog’s) birthday, and I’ll try if I want to (come back).

Let’s catch up. ( tl/dr - there’s a lot to catch up )

Don't call it a come back... But there are Internet's at our house. And they're all cuddling, per-usual. @danielleruns @beachyrunner @runningwithguts

Hello? You all still out there?

If you need a good laugh, listen to this 100 times.

The Last Day

Today’s my wife’s (you all know her as @beachyrunner​, I know her also as beachyrunner, and Beachy, and girlf, and wife, and bash-brother... the list continues, but I desist) last day of work at her current job. I’ve watched a lot of ups and downs with her and this place, and it’s been a cool experience and she’s done well and accomplished a lot and all... 

But, I do know that this is a happy day for the Beachy, so I’m doing my part to join in the celebration that only last days can bring. Feel free to join in as well.

I’m proud of you, babe. Nothing left but to happy dance it out in style. 

I've been doing this thing with this girl and I like it. I want to fall back in love with running. I think it's happening.

Earned it after that wod. Now bring on the Philly cheesesteak.

I NEED NEW MUSAC.

Send me what gets you through your workday - cause if I listen to the Lumineers’ or any of Metallica’s albums again my ears will self destruct. 

More morning miles. I'm happy with the drive to get out and get on the road. I've missed the feeling and freedom of Saturday morning runs. It was foggy and cool - which quickly turned to hot and humid as soon as the sun hit it, but just being out there... I've missed it. What I haven't missed is the negativity, the name calling and constant belittling that comes from my own head. I can be a real ass to myself. It took me until the end of my run to realize what I was doing to myself, then was able to see what I was for myself. I used to think the head games were hard a few years ago starting out... starting over again is a completely different game.

The thing about running, at least for me, is that sometimes it feels like running, feels like it looks like I’m running, and maybe even doing so at a decent pace… until I look at my watch and then it suddenly feels like a lot like walking.

But, I’m up early and doing it.