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tati 🧚🏾

@banditbabez / banditbabez.tumblr.com

/ I sold my soul for a three piece and he told me I was holy /
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You inspire me that happy endings were true. That through every little bad things in life there is always a happy ever after through it all. You gave me the feeling of being love and never the threat of abandonment. You give me the feeling of confidence of embracing my insecurities and flaws and shine among the bright stars in the sky. You hold me with this unforgettable feeling of warmth that when everytime I’m with you or talk to you it feels like home. You kiss me with such a passionate sensation with your affectionate plum pink lips. You wrap you body around mines like a pulled string from the universe. You have such chestnut eyes like the middle of harvest season when all orange shades of leaves fall at just the right amount. You have these hands that run with power & strikes me by each trail of fingers you place upon my body. You are like warm coffee in the morning just enough cream & the right amount of sugars. You are the sun that peaks onto the dark white sheets at dawn. You are the meaning of love. You are the meaning of hope. You are my home.

you // t.r (via just-tr-things)

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my mind is an endless brick of thought the simplest thought of being alone. the thought on why I’m never good enough. the feeling of being disgusted by others the simplest emotion of depression fleeting through my veins. the emotion washing over me like a crackhead cleansing their body from the detox of their use to be euphoria. I sit alone at this table with a question that starts with: why? why was I born if nobody wanted me? why was I told to give my all if I wasn’t gonna get enough back ? why say I love you if people treat you as a game ? why did my dad just give up on me ? why does my mother feel the need to seek love in those who harm her? my answer to all that is: I’m tired… tired of the lies, disappointments the feeling of never being good enough. I lay at night thinking about the day my father left me with no trace leaving his little princess to a mother who seeks home into random men who have issues of themselves. I fake a smile with the world but deep down I’m nothing but lonely I lie to love ones who show support with the famous phase “ I’m fine” when deep down all I wanna do is scream I grew up with a curse of sadness trapped in the hurt & despair for eternity. I just wanna feel something … anything please.

help me // t.r (via just-tr-things)

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I capture every innocence of her …. She’s is like the gleam in a film so surprising but brings the life into the film itself. the light projects a great lighting to her caramel skin. shines through her freckles. projects her flare plum lips. gives her insecurities such purity. she runs around the parking lot with such fullness to life on which why I should be the one to capture it to remember the one who bought life into something useless of my time being on this disgraceful world. she’s shows that time is ticking on her heart but she isn’t too much to care about it.

(t.r)

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Don’t you love the way he looked at her?

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Ok! So I'm thinking of writing a likely fanic on wattpad. Main character is sorted just need a name She's gonna be a plus size model, who makes it big into the modelling world, and then Finds out Ashton is her half brother And mikes helps her through some stuff (some stuff will be based on my life) And I want to know if you think it's a good idea?!?!

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I think I would an amazing idea to do that! I love the diverse that your doing for it cause there's mainly people who use skinny characters for there fan fictions. But try not to use too much of personal life into it ( use little but not tooo much) but I think your idea is amazing go for it ! I can't wait to read it

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musicstills

-“The city looks so peaceful from up here.” -“Anything is peaceful from 1,353 feet.”

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)

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she sits alone on the cold hard tile floor crunching away her food and staring at her phone in her hand. I want to sit down next to her. I want to communicate with this interesting being. but how do I start how do I speak to a person without bringing out the one personality/feeling no human could handle in this world. (weirdness/nervousness) So I go with another option by going quiet and to sneak past her like a quiet mouse escaping its prey sight. but that mouse has been spotted and it’s prey has got it’s hold on me. “ hi creepy boy that keeps on spying on me” she smiled added with a little giggle. The mouse is stung with an shock of venom. side effects is tongue tied syndrome. “ … um… hi to you too” the mouse is released from the preys grasp and struggles to run away but was drawn into its trap again. “ where are you going?” she asks. she has one apple in one hand and a book in the other. her teeth gleaming white. browns eyes appearing the lightest shade of brown in the sunlight. shes is just a blue fairy. a bit small but beautiful. “ just heading to my locker and you? ” there are lumps in my thoart. Blue is making me sweat white drips too scared to get close cause it will affect her color aura. “ just following the leader” she says while skipping and slamming opened lockers. she is just like a little child. playfully skipping and humming away to a song that comes across there minds. I can’t help but catch a few glimpses towards her direction. but was caught in the act for it causing my cheeks to catch a red color by making the white to blend in causing a light pink to my body. “ what’s your name?” blue asks. “ River” I answered. “ oh cool we’re you like named after River Phoenix or does your mom just like rivers?” I couldn’t help but laugh at that remark. Maybe I was named after River… was I? I have a few questions to ask my mom. “ I don’t know really, it will be cool to be named after River Phoenix but it will suck to be named River cause of my moms undying love for rivers” she laughs at me. she has a cute laugh. something I would like to listen to forever. a thing that could cure sickness. well in my opinion I don’t think it’s scientificly impossible. “ I’m Rosie - I’m named after the flower - but I don’t like to be called that cause it doesn’t fit me at all. Roses are beautiful and are whole and perfect also affectionate. I cannot call myself that if I’m don’t even fit into the description of it. So I prefer to be Blue.” I questioned her choice of name. “ Why Blue?” “ Blue is an color that expresses sadness, loneliness, broken, a bit of an light, and inspiration. That’s what I see myself as. I wished I didn’t but… you know that’s how life is I guess” I stopped walking as she did too. I grabbed her hands and stared into her punned eyes. “ you may see yourself as blue - but to other people you are so colorful” she looked down and released her hands from my hold. then she walked away. “ see you around river” blue said she sees herself as these sad words but why add inspiration? what could be so inspiring about Blue? I was right she is mysterious but an mysterious mind has a mind full of questions. questions we can’t even answer ourselves. but the mysterious ones, could find out an problem in a snap of a finger so why can’t she?

blue pt 2// she sits alone (t.r)

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her name was blue no last name no middle name just blue. Blue She was quiet. shy mysterious a loner but quiet the extraordinary girl. She has English with me. She will always be the second one to come into class before me and sit one seat in front me. I will just glance at her and watch as she stares out the window so star struck by the morning sun rays that will peak into the room but also as she patiently waits for class to begin. her hair will turn this bright blue and I don’t know why but it will just draw me in to stroke it but that will be rude/weird of me. Blue she is in study hall across from me reading an Elle Hopkins book (great choice) She is so driven by the words spoken in each page. I couldn’t help but find a perk to affection the sight of her. her hair beautifully flown on the table. her brown eyes perfectly attached to the pages. her hands firmly gripping the book . I get up to grab another book but to see in the corner of my eye she has gotten up to rent a book out at the librarian desk they exchange goodbyes and then she left. I went back to my table to read a bit more but saw classes was about to begin and lunch was ending I headed towards the door but once opened I was greeted by her “ if you want to be creeping on me at least know my name first before eyeing me down” she left pacing away down the hall but she has left me with nothing but a racing heart and a smirk. her name was blue.

blue pt 1// her name was blue (t.r)

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she sits in the library alone. silence surrounds her. the tuning noise of nothingness fuzzes through her brain. the tingling sensation of laughter coming up but she holds it down. she’s a regular in the library. you could call her lonely but she she calls it a movie. She makes eye contact with everyone who first enters this public place. She places a story on them. One man who has the background of an old time wartime hero who suffers from ptsd. A women who had traveled the world with a big time band. A teen boy who lost his virginity in a vanwagon to a girl who wants nothing but secret with him. At first the loneliness was a curse, but she soon dug her way out with a stare and story. The loneliness picked up a big hit. a guy a few tables ahead. glasses. red hair. led zep shirt. ripped jeans. dirty converse. firm hands. rose kissed lips. perfectionist in everyway. she zoomed into every characterist there is to catch. The camera then pans to the left as the star got up to get a new book from the hopeless romantic isle. The curiosity. the hard decision among many of the unbelievable writers it’s almost impossible to choose which one catches his eye. he spots something. he picks it up and the camera pans back to main set. The table. He picks up the book and reads but looks up and catches a glare towards the camera direction. he smiles. the camera smiles back. after a few glares the star walks over and asked what’s her name? this isn’t a movie anymore. reality is the new loneliness.

reality is the new loneliness (t.r)

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don’t you get it I love you not him. I love the moments that I capture with my eye I love the traces you leave upon my body I love the kisses you place upon me I love the hugs you embrace me with. I love the words that escape your lips. I love the way your suit of armor protects what’s yours I love the way you have a story just like the rest of us. You stare at me with such admiration it’s almost impossible to miss it. You love deeply and care truly and feel madly crazy whenever you feel the chance of me slipping through your fingers. You write “ all mines” on my stomach attached with a heart. You smoke your blunts on the patio while I watch you huff and puff the smoke out. I feel you wrap your arms right around my waist to pull me in as if I was trying to escape your presence. I feel your sweaty breath on my neck while applying your forceful movement to my defenseless body. You say you love me but you threw me away. You said you never wanna hurt me but my heart is bruised and broken. You said your not like the rest but your the first boy in the list. You said “I’m yours until your no longer here” well I’m gone and you are no where to be found and here I am with another guy who doesn’t know that my feelings for him isn’t pure nor true cause the only guy I wanna place my kisses upon to is you. I wanna hate you but I can’t.. I wanna forget you but you just keep replying all over again. I wanna find better but there isn’t a better you.

I love you, not him (t.r)

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