It's always like this.

Now that I am on my computer I can finally answer this, sorry for the delay! 

Weight is a  touchy subject for many so I’ll try to be as gentle talking about it as possible. I became overweight due to me putting on 10kg from the PCOS, in a very short time period (about 2-3 months). I have managed to lose most of that just purely from getting my syndrome much more under control, Rome wasn’t built in a day and I don’t know if I’ll ever get back to the weight I was but either way it’s a work in progress and I’m much better. It was definitely a mental struggle for me. And even physically, I was in a lot of pain and suffering! 

My energy levels didn’t necessarily improve but that was due to me also being anaemic, and since then I’ve had one iron infusion and about to have another so by the end of that i should be feeling way better :) 

My skin has cleared up immensely! Like a new person. I was having terrible break outs non stop on my forehead and cheeks and chin and under my chin. It was awful. 

My mood is much more stable and much more predictable, I definitely cry and scream less haha. 

My hair also falls out not nearly as much as it used to, I don’t have this insatiable craving for sugar and carbohydrates and I tend to stay full for a reasonable amount of time these days (some days not, and that’s okay). My period has (for the most part) returned back to a normal schedule. The cramps and pain are just as bad, and just as awfully heavy, but that is to be expected. I’m very late this cycle so something I need to bring up with my specialist but I guess 60 days is better than the never, which is how often I used to (or rather, used to not get) my period. 

My focus levels are much much better, I feel less spaced out all the time. 

Lifestyle and dietary changes I believe make up 90% of the whole situation for me, and the last 10% is my medication (it;s a very light dosage, just to help me a little). 

I eat about 5-7 times a day, depending on the day. So more regular smaller meals. I eat less carbohydrate focussed meals and more plant proteins and healthy fats. Lots of fibre. Mostly wholefoods plantbased. The occasional bowl of GF pasta or vegan chocolate or ice cream or pizza. Ya gotta live your life. But I try to go for the 90/10 approach, if I do the right thing for my body and my health 90% of the time then the 10% is heavily outweighed. I also try to exercise in some shape of form 5-6 times a week, depending on whether I’m doing more restorative stuff like yoga or walking or if I’m doing more running and gym workouts. I’m active with my jobs, working in hospitality and also being a dance teacher, so that keeps me on my feet. 

I still eat fruit, but I make sure to have it with a sort of healthy fat and not over do it. I still eat carbs, again just try not to over do it and eat them well balanced with the other macros. Lots of veggies, seeds... I eat a wide variety and every day is different :) 

xxx

In my personal opinion, yes. 

1,400 calories is starvation and I think the reason your body is gaining is because it is being starved. 

Your body will do what it needs to do and what is right when you treat it right. 

You should not be maintaining on such a low amount of calories. In my opinion. 

If you don’t like that I would seriously consider speaking with a professional because then at least you will be getting proper medical advice, if you don’t want to just trust old me on the internet over here :) 

Sounds like a deficiency to me! Perhaps iron, or B12. Definitely get a blood test done :) 

It could also be nothing, like you said could be an after restriction thing but I would hate to use that as an excuse when there is another issue. So definitely get a blood test done and speak with your doctor. Maybe worth tracking your calories for one day too to see if you’re definitely eating enough :) xxx

It is normal, because your body has been starving for so long, so as it gets closer to a proper amount of food it will be able to gain again. But yes your metabolism will recover and eventually you will need to increase again. I started my first meal plan on 1,500 and finished on a 5,000 calorie meal plan. So, yes, as you can see, your metabolism increases as you continue recovering. xxx

I’m sorry this is probably answered so late! I would recommend the inner west, like Summer Hill, Dulwich Hill and Marrickville for instance. Annandale perhaps too. Those kinds of areas. Realestate.com.au or google will be your best friend in finding some budget friendly suburbs :) I’m not that great haha xxx

No my love, I don’t think that is okay. Remember your brain uses energy too, and I’m sure you’re not doing absolutely nothing. 

Your body is trying to recover from an eating disorder, for that it needs a surplus of energy. Your body would be burning more than 1,500 a day, even not doing much. So, you’re not only not recovering, you are not even maintaining your current health situation :( and I am not a fan of that and couldn’t support it. 

My advice is to get some calorie dense easy meals and things to eat and drink on the go that can keep your energy levels up but aren't too time consuming and are portable and easy. 

My brain capacity and function increased ten fold when I recovered, so yes. But whilst recovering it was really tricky, especially as I was in my last year or so of high school. Was a tough time. 

xxx

My love, 

I am so sorry. I would really recommend either reaching out to them and sharing your feelings, as I am sure they love you and care about your wellbeing. If they are too closed minded, perhaps it is time to find somewhere else to live. You do not deserve that kind of treatment. xxx

I think it is okay, but I also worry you will be trying your best but not quite making the mark and eating too little :( I see that happen time and time again. 

My honest advice would be to see a professional and have them draw up a meal plan for you (even just a few selections to choose from for each meal and snack etc) so you still have flexibility and no idea of the calories but we can make sure you’re still eating plenty but you still having a lot of choice and it not being too strict, just until you learn to be able to do it on your own terms and can truly eat intuitively, if that makes sense. 

Recovery takes years, you’re doing amazing and I have so much faith in you. I was diagnosed in 2011 and here I am, almost 2018, thriving and not a single food thought like that has crossed my mind in a long long time. But it was hard work to get here. And if I was where you are now, I wouldn’t trust myself to eat properly without guidance, as your mind is still twisted a little. And I would hate for you to go backwards. I hope that makes sense! 

xxx

I don’t really know if you should be doing intermittent fasting when you’re so active. 

I honestly don’t believe in that form of eating, purely because your blood sugar levels spike too high from only eating during a select period of time. 

I have found so much benefit in eating 6-7 times a day and in smaller portions, I feel so much better for it. I really recommend you perhaps look into that :) 

xxx

Bloody legend. Thanks so much for this! 

Definitely, 100%, yes. 

Try doing some self- help techniques. Like, writing down every morning something that you like about yourself, and then at the end of the day something you’re proud of that you did or something nice that happened to you that day. 

When the feelings get too much perhaps you could reflect on this list, or you could just take some nice deep breaths and try to relax, let these negative thoughts spill out of your mind and away from you. 

I find meditation has really done wonders for my mental health. 

xxx

I don’t really know what is going in your body so it’s hard for me to diagnose that! Maybe worth speaking with a specialist about :) I am sure there is definitely something that can help :) xxx

You can buy vegan versions of the nutritional supplement drinks! I ordered some when I was recovering (I was dairy free not vegan and most of them have dairy in them). You can get a lot of vegan junk food, and calorie dense foods. Healthy fats, tofu and beans, grains and pastas, breads, cake, pizza, burgers and fries... you can get it all vegan. Might take a little more work but I can’t imagine what the difference is too much. 

In saying that, if you had to not be vegan to recover and be well again, I would not judge that. I truly believe you do always have to put yourself first. And you will only be your own best activist by being okay, and being alive and surviving this. 

You could research vegan recovery meal plans from other dieticians or government health websites for inspiration, or speak with a vegan dietician and ask for them to write you up a meal plan and meal ideas, and show that to them :) 

xxx

I can definitely do that! 

Ugh I hate bringing up that I’m gluten free and at cafes or restaurants, I feel constant judgement. I usually get my friends to do it for me haha. I feel so much anxiety around the whole thing, one of the main reasons I don’t particularly enjoy eating out. I hate feeling like a pest to people. 

And I’ve been a coeliac for almost 8 years so that is saying something if I haven’t gotten over it yet! I’ve had a lot of judgement and snarky comments in my time. 

xxx

Usually I cook up the grain of choice with chopped apple, sultanas, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and cardamom and some vanilla on the stove until everything is cooked through. Might add a touch of maple syrup or some coconut sugar and then serve with whatever you like on top :) chopped walnuts would be lovely I think! 

You are never better off alone but you just haven’t found the right people to surround yourself with yet. I am hoping you can find them soon! And I can definitely relate to this feeling, surface level friendship is never that nourishing for the soul or the mind. xxx