Black light, Craig Burrows

this website peaked on January 29 2015 

What happened

This picture in McDonald’s was hung sideways

i really wanted to comment “i’m hung sideways too ;)” but i’m not the type of person to comment that so someone else should do it since it’s very funny and clever i think

I’m hubg sideways too ;)

close enough

Hey so YouTube just screwed over a lot of small-time channels

They’ve made it so that you need to already be popular in order to earn money.

So it would be really nice if y’all stopped reuploading YouTube videos on here, especially without any credit

Why do it when you can embed a YouTube video right in Tumblr with 3 clicks? Downloading and reuploading it here takes way more effort than that

Look at how simple it is

Seriously.

Stop messing up whatever little audience small-time creators manage to scrape by, after also getting screwed by all the “we own no content posted!” accounts that steal stuff from everyone to package it into GIFs or compilation videos.

(And don’t make or watch compilation videos: YouTube allows you to make playlists instead.)

If you see someone do this it’s also not hard to find the original source yourself.

THANK YOU

stealing, aka reuploading without permission, takes money that creators need to live away from them. if you like something, link back to the ORIGINAL upload to support the creator. DO NOT REUPLOAD.

how to become a mother

1) go outside 2) find pigeon 3) grab 4) congratulation

Okay now what

So I used to be a martial artist

I started going to the dojo when I was in sixth grade. It was a very masculine environment; there weren’t a lot of other girls there but the male senseis who ran the place were great guys and they genuinely loved having female students because we were such a rarity.

Now back in sixth grade I was tinier even than what I am now, and now I’m only 5’2. Then I was probably even under 5’0. I mean I was a squirt of a kid. But I loved to fight; I loved to be in the ring, I loved the adrenaline rush and I loved having punches hurled at me. It was fun for me. Our dojo did full-contact sparring, which was pretty brutal. These were the only rules:

That’s pretty much it.

Anyway every Thursday was Fight Night, where all we did was spar each other. And on my First Night Sensei Diven—who has since passed, bless his soul—paired me up with this really cocky and assholish brown belt to show me the ropes a little. This brown belt kid was bigger than me by a lot; he must have been at least six feet and twice my weight. But man was I excited to get into the ring! I had a fight boiling in my blood.

Now, Sensei Diven was not a stupid man and he hated high-ranking kids that showed a bad attitude. This kid had a bad attitude. So he must have seen the evil gleam in my eye from a mile away and decided it was time for a little improvisation.

Anyway, Sensei yelled, “Start!” and I leapt into fight stance and the other kid didn’t even put his hands up. He was laughing at me, sneering, the whole nine yards. “I’ll give you a free one.” he joked, and he slapped his side. “You barely weigh 100 pounds and you’re a girl. So go ahead, little girl. Hit me.”

And I hit him. I cocked my leg up as high as it would go and roundhouse kicked him right in the ribs with all of my might and all of the contempt I felt for his stupid cocky face which was covered in ugly-ass freckles and his nasty-ass braces. And I heard a crack. Like a real snap! sound. And the kid has a look of surprise on his face like it was nobody’s business, and then he goes right to the floor like a sack of potatoes.

Now, Sensei Diven leisurely strolls over from the group of black belts who are laughing their asses off at me, the tiny little white belt, sending my Goliath to the floor. I mean they’re laughing so hard they look like they’re about to pee themselves. They think it’s a game. And in his great booming voice he hollers:

“Brown Belt! Why are you on the floor? Do you not see this white belt has been assigned to fight you?”

And meanwhile he is just crying. I broke one of his ribs.

And Sensei Diven just squats down next to this poor kid and whispers, “Don’t you know that women are made of pain?”

I AM SCREAMING.

“Don’t you know that women are made of pain?”

This made my day. Fucking brutal 👌

My Valentine Cards

I made some “Advice From Nature” bookmarks

Follow Obvious Plant on Facebook | Instagram

me pretending to be busy at werk

Protecting cat friend.

Every. Time.

I’m asking for safe passage… through the Anus.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017), dir. Taika Waititi

you act like youre any better LMFAO

I went over there and played in the arcades, ate some good food, hung out with people who liked the same things i do at a concert, and took some great photos with them.

He went over and put on a kimono and conical hat, ran through the streets shouting ching chong, called it a playground, went to a forest and took video of dead bodies, and caused a minor international incident.

So yeah, i’m better than logan paul.

this is the content we signed up for