dentists will splash some water in your mouth and youll think "oh a nice drink of water i was parched" just for them to suck it back out with their wretched little tube. disingenuous behavior

why are there fake transparent pngs. what kind of sick prank is this. some kind of looney tunes ass bullshit. i run at the gray and white checkered background and hit it like a wall.

I dreamed that I was playing mariokart and there was a track that took 3 days to complete and when I somehow managed to get 1st place a popup came onscreen that had a pic of koopa troopa and text that read “congratulations!! you’re gonna have so much sex” and I started laughing so hard I woke up

haha i like you. I’ll be growing on you like moss now if that’s alright

i made you a cookie but i fucked it with my penis until there was nothing

girl who looooves weed but she can’t roll for shit and can’t hold a lighter well and burns her fingers and she coughs so fucking loud she cries whenever she takes a single hit .

Can't let British people have air conditioning because first they'd call it something twee like "the climate fixer" and then in 20 years they'll call it "the climb" or "the climmy"

when someone reblogs/posts too much good shit in a row and you gotta reblog it all and it looks like you have a gay crush on them

unfortunately if you are an old friend of mine i will always care about you no matter what even if we haven't seen each other in forever because i still remember what you were like 7 years ago and i still remember how it felt to be young with you and i still have a lot of love for you in the back of my mind

i love minecraft waiting behaviors. Writing on a sign and you can vaguely see your friend hopping around making spontaneous parkour out of the terrain while they wait for you to finish. writing a message in chat and having the person you’re talking to crouch right in front of you or stand as close to you as possible while they wait for you to finish. Finally finishing writing in a book only to see your friend has made several new furniture pieces and/or surrounded you in a cobblestone cube that may or may not have a sign on it. theres something so charming to it