Witch Slayin' the Game

I DON’T OWN A CROSS. I AM DEAD.

…

[Pets]

You’ll live.

I’m going to hide at your house okay-

Please do. For your own safety.

You're such a good boyfriend. [sMOOCHES]

I charge $10 an hour and I’ll throw in a slice or two of pizza during lunch.

I have to skip lunch, you dick-

…No, I mean, I’ll throw in the pizza, and you just give me the ten bucks.

…

Actually, i’ll just kick her ass for free.

....holy shit, really? BUT WHAT I THAT PISSES HER OFF MORE OHMYGOD, I'M SO DEAD.

I DON’T OWN A CROSS. I AM DEAD.

…

[Pets]

You’ll live.

I'm going to hide at your house okay-

This just in, I think I pissed off that scary Russian chick.

Need a bodyguard?

Yes please-

I charge $10 an hour and I’ll throw in a slice or two of pizza during lunch.

I have to skip lunch, you dick-

Well, you sorta broke my fall. So the real question is, are you okay?

Yeah, I did, didn’ I? I’m fine. I’m pretty durable like that.

[Slowly sits up] [pats his chest] Good to hear- so how have you been since I last seen ya'?

This just in, I think I pissed off that scary Russian chick.

Need a bodyguard?

Yes please-

This just in, I think I pissed off that scary Russian chick.

Get out the crosses. That’s what you Christians do, right?

I DON'T OWN A CROSS. I AM DEAD.

  Surely we can blame it on your legs for running randomly and your hand for tossing your cup onto my shirt. We can make sure they don’t do those things again if you’d like-

…….are you threatening me?

Well, I am saying that I can fix your bad habits but if you want to call it threatening, then yes.

Oh. Okay. BYE- [NYOOMS OFF]

[OH DEAR] [GOING DOWN]

[Pauses]

[Looks down at him] [she’s utterly embarrassed wow]

——-hi?

[we’re going down i’m yelling timber]

[Smiles]

You okay?

Well, you sorta broke my fall. So the real question is, are you okay?

[Takes a selfie next to a familiar he’s holding down.]

[Takes a selfie next to the guy taking a selfie next to a familiar]

[..takes a selfie next to the girl taking one next to him]

[Takes a selfie of him taking a selfie of her taking a selfie of him taking a selfie with the familiar.]

  Surely we can blame it on your legs for running randomly and your hand for tossing your cup onto my shirt. We can make sure they don’t do those things again if you’d like-

.......are you threatening me?

[ARRIVES A MONTH LATE WITH STARBUCKS AND CRASHES INTO THE FIRST PERSON SHE SEES]

Holy hell—-!

[HE’S HIT—AAAand he’s going down]

[Ends up on the ground with her on top of him]

[Glances at the coffee as it rolls on the ground to the side before looking up at her]

Hello.

[OH DEAR] [GOING DOWN]

[Pauses]

[Looks down at him] [she's utterly embarrassed wow]

-----hi?

[Takes a selfie next to a familiar he’s holding down.]

[Takes a selfie next to the guy taking a selfie next to a familiar]

  Weren’t you just blaming me a moment ago? Listen, girl. You’re getting on my last nerve here-

Well someone has to take the blame here and it surely won't be me-

Much better now! How about yourself? Keeping that gem clean?

I’ve been okay, mostly. It’s as clean as I know.

You? Have you been taking care of yourself?

Good! And of course I have! I know better-

Good.

…

[Little peck on the cheek]

So you’re back..!

[Awww, look at that blush]

[nods!]

Yes I am!

……I do not think I am being unreasonable.

But you're acting like I did it on purpose-