the duality of man

Can i be sensitive for 1 second or will i be tackled and killed

"how can you like this objectively bad thing!" because i have bad taste. move on.

can i be personal for A Second

for people who r on medication for their mental illness and have seen improvement .. have u felt the fear that ur improvement is just only bcs of the meds and it’s not You as a person.. if that makes sense… if yes how do u deal with that

i was on ssris for a year in 2019/2020 (without therapy) and before that i was on another molecule that hadn't worked so i'd quit cold turkey and it had led to my absolute mostest rock bottom. so you can imagine how terrified i was when i came off them mid pandemic!! it went fine lol. i had an assessment with my psychiatrist, weaned off over several months and eventually did 6 ish months of talk therapy.

4 years post treatment i would say i still deal with depressive symptoms and tbh i really should be in therapy because being depressed from ages 8 to like 22 really does fuck you up. and up until last year everytime i dealt with setbacks i made myself sick thinking 'is it back?' i'm still scared tbh. years of untreated mental illness is its own trauma in a way. 

BUT !! that doesn't mean i haven't felt lasting improvements and i feel like im still improving, even without meds!! meds helped me develop more effective coping mechanisms and generally get to a point where i don't hate my life and even sometimes love it. part of it is making peace with it i think, like not punishing myself further if i felt i was slipping back into old patterns. i think meds + therapy is probs the best combination because it helps you build a safety net for those moments where you feel like you're "losing your new self". but there are other safety nets too like family/friends/the state (lol) that make it easier to know okay if i fall back into it again i won't be alone. in hindsight the hardest part of depression wasn't the feeling itself, it was the spiral of isolation and self blame surrounding it. the brain is weird but meds kind of teach you a way out of that. like would i have the strength of friendship i have now if meds hadn't gotten me out of my fog of self loathing long enough to save these friendships from disintegrating ?

idk what you're getting treated for but my psychiatrist told me that treating depression with ssris has like an 80% success rate and of course i obsessed a lot about being in the 20% and what it'd say abt me. that's bc i'd absorbed soooo much ableism and anti med sentiment over the years that it made sense to worry about not being able to improve without meds. but like im never gonna be able to see without glasses and that doesn't say anything about Me. like what if we couldn't improve on our own? can anyone do anything on their own really? sorry to make it philosophical or whatever but like i'd never expect someone to get themselves out of a bad situation alone but that's the kind of reframing i was only able to accept for myself BECAUSE of meds. anyways. sorry for the super long reply i hope it does give you some insight <3

🐱 Oriental Shorthair

📸 Inna Frunze [Otornasse]

🎨 Black

Hundreds of Jewish anti-war demonstrators have been arrested during a Passover seder that doubled as a protest in New York, as they shut down a major thoroughfare to pray for a ceasefire and urge the Senate majority leader, Chuck Schumer, to end US military aid to Israel.

The 300 or so arrests took place on Tuesday night at Grand Army Plaza, on the doorstep of Schumer’s Brooklyn residence, where thousands of mostly Jewish New Yorkers gathered for the seder, a ritual that marked the second night of the holiday celebrated as a festival of freedom by Jews worldwide.

The seder came just before the US Senate resoundingly passed a military package that includes $26bn for Israel.

Can't let British people have air conditioning because first they'd call it something twee like "the climate fixer" and then in 20 years they'll call it "the climb" or "the climmy"

French kids would call it "le climot", frustrating language officials who would prefer they call it "machine pour le contrôle du climat froide à l'interieure de l'édifice"

happy ‘is that all? that’s all there is’ eve to everyone who celebrates

“Where is my house

Where is my mother

Where is my father

Where is my sister and my brother

Where is humanity!”

Graffiti seen on the rubble in Gaza

ok sure you probably have a favorite character, and you have a character you relate to, and a character you aspire to be like. whatever.

instead, in the notes, tell me about the character that makes you go "oh shit, that's me and i really wish it wasn't."

this is the first song i ever wrote. i started writing songs after high school which is late compared to my band friends, i was living in Turkey it was morning and i was still fucking drunk, idk why but i sat at the keyboard and started writing this, and by the time it was done my heart was pounding like i just saw the rest of my life. i was fucking doomed. anyway, happy monday, fam. kill this week.

ayo edebiri for beyondnoise

SEVERANCE HIVE WE BACK UP

realized i never shared my rot series from beginner's ceramics 🍊 obviously pretty wonky + some cracking and weird glaze stuff, but i really loved every step of the process <3 hoping i get to do it again sometime

(via FlvR8DGXgAM3Chj (640×640))

Radio Shack 43-344A // Jumbo Desk Phone (US, 1988)