School
School sucks. I’ve never been good at it and I never will. But i’ve never let school bring me to the place I am at right now. I work my ass off every single day, I study, I work, I do my homework, offer my help to others, I am involved, I do everything an average kid does and more. Yet I seem to be just barely making it. I’ve recently been to the point where when i begin thinking about school (every day) I just break down in tears. I don’t want to be social, I want to stay in and be antisocial, but I want someone to be there and comfort me when I am in this place. I feel alone, I feel like I am the only one who is feeling like this. Even though in the back of my head I know it’s not true. It’s just been such a shitty semester. I don’t have a future anymore, I don’t even know what I could even possibly do. Was all this a mistake? Should I not have even come to the university? Was it stupid of me to think I could even make it in the health care field. I don’t know. All I know is I can’t handle this failure anymore, and I don’t know what more I can do. I am still studying for my finals, still trying to do well in whatever finals I have left, but I don’t think i can do it. I can’t, and no matter what I do, it won’t happen, because I am not fit for this kind of lifestyle. Learning is no longer my passion, i have deviated away from being the optimistic one, and now I am just a different person and I hate it.
Sorry it’s all scrambled I just needed to let off some steam and to just vent and have no one say anything back. This is just for me, Im not looking for help/sympathy/anything. I just wanted to let it all out.
