thought this was a dril tweet for a second but no this is just reality now
Things that work in fiction but not real life
- torture getting reliable information out of people
- knocking someone out to harmlessly incapacitate them for like an hour
- jumping into water from staggering heights and surviving the fall completely intact
- calling the police to deescalate a situation
- rafting your way off a desert island
- correctly profiling total strangers based on vibes
- effectively operating every computer by typing and nothing else
- ripping an IV out of your arm without consequences
- heterosexual cowboy
This post breaching containment has taught me that a lot of people seem to think they can accurately profile complete strangers. For the record, no the fuck you can't.
buttdoom reblogged
worst thing is when you're on setting 3 and it's still not enough, bro pass the car battery or i'm gonna lose it
hey what does this mean
I'm gonna jump start my pussy
buttdoom reblogged
“kill them with kindness” Wrong. CURSE OF RA 𓀀 𓀁 𓀂 𓀃 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉 𓀊 𓀋 𓀌 𓀍 𓀎 𓀏 𓀐 𓀑 𓀒 𓀓 𓀔 𓀕 𓀖 𓀗 𓀘 𓀙 𓀚 𓀛 𓀜 𓀝 𓀞 𓀟 𓀠 𓀡 𓀢 𓀣 𓀤 𓀥 𓀦 𓀧 𓀨 𓀩 𓀪 𓀫 𓀬 𓀭 𓀮 𓀯 𓀰 𓀱 𓀲 𓀳 𓀴 𓀵 𓀶 𓀷 𓀸 𓀹 𓀺 𓀻 𓀼 𓀽 𓀾 𓀿 𓁀 𓁁 𓁂 𓁃 𓁄 𓁅 𓁆 𓁇 𓁈 𓁉 𓁊 𓁋 𓁌 𓁍 𓁎 𓁏 𓁐 𓁑 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆
buttdoom reblogged
op turned reblogs off but this post must live. it must live and spread malignantly .
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literally sleeping on a barbecue sauce
buttdoom reblogged
Anonymous asked:
Using the information from all the countries you've denied being from, I have triangulated your position to be somewhere in the Pacific Ocean
buttdoom reblogged
i love saying "get off my dick" even though i don't have one
i don't have a dick but you're still determined to ride it
buttdoom reblogged
Cat: water form
Source: instagram.com
buttdoom reblogged
i feel like if i see boobs my bowtie is gonna twirl involuntarily
i don’t know how else to say this besides this post is giving “woo jeezers” vibes im sorry if that doesn’t make sense
buttdoom reblogged
people who use she/her and it/its pronouns have it so fucking hard honestly
you list your pronouns as she/it? that sounds like shit. you have poopnouns instead of pronouns. what the hell.
it/she? now you're itchy. girlthings just can't fucking win
piralea-deactivated20231202
buttdoom reblogged
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE TELL MARKIPLIER
no fucking way
