The Signs During the Holidays:
Aries: Slowly freezing to death outside with their arms outstretched so birds can hang out on their hands.
Taurus: Attempting to box and wrap themselves for maximum Christmas cheer.
Gemini: Renting a bulletproof vest for the family get together later today.
Cancer: Ritually polishing the holiday lance. Gotta get all the blood off from last year.
Leo: Baking hundreds upon thousands of cookies. Legions of cookies. Their eyes are completely white, they seem to be in some sort of trance.
Virgo: Working on your fiendish plan to capture and cybernetically augment Santa.
Libra: Warming themselves in the fireplace as all of their clothes burn off.
Scorpio: Dual wielding a pair of Christmas lights like a pair of whips.
Ophiuchus: Stalking the misty streets in a sackcloth mask holding a single candle and scaring small children.
Sagittarius: Driving the body wagon to the mount to drop off sacrifices to the Christmas wyrm.
Capricorn: Brewing cider in the stomach of a freshly slain elk.
Aquarius: Affixing brass knuckles and a scarf, heading out looking for some goddamn halls to deck.
Pisces: Showing bhuddist/jewish solidarity by manning the anti-aircraft guns, combing the sky for that red thing.