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We Cannot Stay Silent About George Floyd - Patriot Act Digital Exclusive
New Year’s Eve (2011)
You’re not a burden, not to anyone.
I’m constantly torn between “if it’s meant to be, it will be” and “if you want it, go and get it.”
“if it’s meant to be, it will be” - friendships, relationships, people in general coming into your life, dealing with rejection
“if you want it, go get it” - your goals, aspirations, work and work ethic, changing your life (diet, exercise, hobbies, political views, opinions)
وَلَقَدْ نَعْلَمُ أَنَّكَ يَضِيقُ صَدْرُكَ بِمَا يَقُولُونَ
We are aware that your heart is strained by what they say.
— Surat Al-Hijr 15:97
كُلٌّ يَرَى النَّاسَ بِعَينِ طَبعِهِ
Arabic Saying: Every person sees in others his characteristics or attributes. For instance, a good person will see good in others, and an evil person will only see evil in others.
So do not stress over people’s misjudgement of you, they are only projecting their attributes. God is present and he is the only just judge.
“My dad brought me here at the age of seven. My mom stayed back in Jamaica, so it was just me and him. He was very strict. It was cultural, mostly. He’d served in the military back home. So he controlled all areas of my life, school, sports, socializing. Nothing was ever enough for him: not the first place medals, not the honor roll, nothing. He tried hard to break me down. He’d wake me up at 3 AM to go running. He’d make me kneel on the floor all night. And he’d never let me speak back. He intimidated me into silence. I left the house when I turned eighteen. I got a job as a pharmacy tech. I got my own apartment, but I still lived nearby. One day I was driving to work, and I saw him walking to the bus stop. So I pulled over and picked him up. The ride was only ten minutes. But there was a different energy. He actually talked to me. And he let me talk back. He told me things about his life. He talked about how stressed he felt. Things got better after that day. I’d occasionally drop by the house. I introduced him to my girlfriend. He’d tell jokes and laugh. We were beginning to form a relationship. On the morning he died, I actually drove past the crime scene without realizing it. My phone was turned off because it’s not allowed at work. When I finally turned it on, I had several missed calls from him. Each time he left a voicemail: ‘Alex, pick up,’ ‘Alex, please come get me,’ ‘Alex, I need a ride.’ The only time he didn’t leave a voicemail was the very last call. He’d been shot in the neck while walking to the bus stop. I always wonder if the last call was while he was bleeding out. The next few months were surreal. I felt like I was sleepwalking. And I felt responsible. He’d called me for a ride and I’d been right around the corner. I ended up quitting my job. I went to a recruiter’s office. And I punished myself the same way he’d have done it: I joined the Marines.”
Flip your phone upside down
worth it
I’m high rn and I just experienced pure joy