welcome to my twisted ankle

I love the x-men so much because that's just what leftist infighting is like! that's literally all it is! xavier is a sellout and they all hate him but he's the only one with any money. everyone complains about "they keep switching sides and dating each other it's so fucking confusing" like my dudes have you never been a part of any socialist organisation, ever. then people will go "magneto is so strong how has he not killed a bunch of teenagers" HE DOESN'T WANT TO KILL THEM! this started in a goddam basement over coffee he does not want to hurt them he just wants them to shut up and listen and will fling cars to do so

Magneto one drink in: I love Charles but hes such a kiss ass we don’t need to be FRIENDS we just need mutual aid communities and to be left alone

Professor X one drink in: what the fuck is his self sustaining mutant community going to do for all the mutants born to human parents, which is MOST OF THEM, he’s so gay he’s forgotten how babies are made and I want to kiss his stupid face

fewer posts about “why do straight women date men who hate them” and more posts about “why do so many men hate women that it’s genuinely difficult for straight women to find romantic & sexual intimacy with a man who doesn’t hate them”

this post was written by a trans person & is about misogyny, which affects all women, including trans women. transmisogynists begone, please.

My ideal aesthetic is what I'm calling "sexy tomboy". That is to say, I am 100% femme through and through, but I want to look like what a straight man's idea of a "masculine woman" is. I wanna be masc in the way that LaCroix is fruit flavored, just a little extra something to make things a little more interesting

This you?

I don't think I'll ever recover from this one

hannibal letter if he was in a water level in super mario brothers

online communities are so strange because people slip away so easily. you can be on here for years, folding people you've never met into the fabric of your daily life, and then they disappear, leaving only ghost posts scattered across tumblr behind. or their blog stays dormant, for weeks, months, years, until you're only still following them because you remember that they love sunflowers or they were kind to you when they didn't have to be or the last thing they posted was sad and raw and you still worry about them sometimes.

and sometimes they come back when you least expect it, years later, even, and there's this sudden rush of relief like there you are, there you are, even though you barely knew each other.

there's a strange kind of love to it. i don't know you and i want to hold your hand across miles and time zones and oceans. i can still see the imprint of you in this community you left. you don't think anyone will notice or care when you're gone, but we notice and we care and we wish you well.

i hope you're all okay out there. i hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. i miss you.

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

The threead continues:

The book linked is free to read and download. See the link above.

if you’re a transfem you should read this, and if you’re not you should reblog it for your transfem friends & followers, the advice in here is extremely good and the grips breaks are not hard to practice!!

chilchuck going "sorry leave me outta this one. i cant fight" but then hitting literally every precise shot with an arrow or projectile he ever made in the story INCLUDING PIERCING A RED DRAGONS EYE BY THROWING A KNIFE WHILE LEAPING AWAY my bro is a rogue with dex 20 and wants no one to know biggest liar in history

As a fellow union man i can relate - you do not let your employer know you can do anything you don't want to become your job

Took a year to complete this quilt! Pattern is by NASA Astronaut Karen Nyberg called Cupola View. Fabrics used were also designed by Karen, the collection is called Earth Views.

Earth views from the international space station

At first, I was convinced it's a stained glass panel, but it's so much more cooler.

i must not reference dune. referencing dune is the ah beans

Friendly sparring

I’ve got this headcanon that Lucretia and Magnus (being the two young human members of the Starblaster crew) were best friends in a lawful good Yzma and Kronk sorta way.

[id: a series of mostly black-and-white illustrations of magnus and lucretia. magnus is a muscular human with short hair and sideburns. lucretia is a thin human with curly hair in two high puffs. the two are standing opposite each other, magnus reaching back to draw his axe and lucretia with a tome prepared. a countdown above them reads, “3… 2… 1… fight!” magnus swings his axe with a cry of “aaah!” and lucretia immediately casts a spell, cutting his axe off. on the other side of the shield, magnus comments, “wow, lucretia! your abjuration magic is getting really good!” he pulls his axe out and then adds, “not as good as my conjuration is gonna be!”

without looking up from her book, lucretia replies, grinning, “in your dreams, you big, dumb… golden retriever.” she casts a spell with a grimace, saying, “shit!” and off-screen, a “yip!” sounds. lucretia shuts her spellbook, turning to ask, “magnus, can we take a – magnus?”

when she looks over, she sees not human magnus but a small golden retriever wearing his pauldron, tail wagging behind him as he excitedly looks back at her. lucretia stares back in shock.

cut to lucretia rushing in a door toward merle, a dwarf in the middle of watering a plant, with dog magnus cradled in her arms. she cries, “merle! you have to help me! i turned magnus into a big dumb golden retriever!” /end id.]

The devastating difference between how much time it takes to write something vs how fast people read it lol

you're falling in the trap!! it will be read by many people, many times, and it will live on in their memories. and maybe no single other human will match you in time spent dedicated to your story, but as a collective we will outlast you. acts of creation only grow when they are shared

This. Writing is not like dinner. It can be consumed many times

There is another way

By the Nine, keep your whore mouth shut

Pretty sure the other way involves keeping your whore mouth open

put this on your user lookup for everyone to see

Melanie King s3 alternative ending

i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.