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Castiel Derangement Hot Zone

@ilarual / ilarual.tumblr.com

Laura | 30s | they/he/she | U.S. | writer | AO3 I have never had a heterosexual thought in my life and my toxic trait is that I like the show I'm in a fandom for.
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wake up new pinned post just dropped

⬆ ⬆ ⬆ my old pinned post was too nostalgic to be left out ⬆ ⬆ ⬆

About

  • This is, broadly, a multifandom and personal blog, but 90% of the content you're gonna get here is Supernatural. Yeah. I didn't expect that either but after going on three years I've just accepted that this is my life now.
  • Generally show-positive and actor-positive. Neither the show nor the people who produced it are without flaws and I will happily have a ponder on issues of racism, misogyny, etc. when the mood strikes. However I am here because I like the show and want to celebrate the things that I like about it because fandom is a fun hobby for me.
  • Officially I am a Cas fan first and a human second because I see him and my brain turns into a gibbering pile of mush in a way it simply does not with other characters. Unofficially so many people having bad faith takes on Dean and dunking on him in really classist, shitty, deeply unwarranted ways caused me to become extremely protective of him and love him almost as much as I do Cas because I spent so much time trying to take him apart to see how he works.
  • Basically what I'm saying is that this is a pro-Destiel blog and I think both Cas and Dean are loving, well-intentioned people with a lot of baggage and issues who sometimes hurt each other and both contribute to that pretty much equally but who both, ultimately, are capable of growth, healing, and being their best selves with and for each other.
  • Related to the above, calling Dean or Cas abusive will get you blocked <3
  • Rowena is love. Rowena is life. I don't blog about her nearly as much as I think about her.
  • I'm not interested in policing anyone else's fandom engagement (or media consumption in general) and that includes not shaming people for enjoying things I personally find objectionable, whether that's ships, fanfic, or entire source texts. That's their business, not mine. If I don't want to interact with someone, I block or softblock and move on with my life.
  • Related to the above, Sastiel squicks the hell out of me. I do not want to hear about it, I do not want to talk about it, I want people to be able to enjoy what they like but I would like them to do it far the hell away from me in this specific case.
  • Lastly, I'm one whole grown adult. Not a young adult, an adult-adult with a mortgage and everything. I do not have an MDNI policy bc I think teenagers who are old enough to be online unsupervised are also old enough to decide for themselves if they want to follow or not. (I also don't interact one on one with people via DMs on tumblr very much, as I use tumblr as a blogging platform rather than a social media platform.) However, if you feel compelled to DM me for whatever reason and happen to be a young person, please indicate in some way that you are in fact not an adult because my socially oblivious ass will just sort of assume everyone around me is also in the 20-40 range unless told otherwise.

Navigation

  • Writing: all fanfiction, original fiction, and poetry I've written (tbh it's 99.9% fanfic). A direct link to my AO3 can be found in my bio at the top of the blog.
  • Meta posts: either my original posts or posts to which I've added substantial additional commentary
  • Bi Dean: what it says on the tin, posts that are evidentiary of Dean's queerness, a mix of original and reblogged content.
  • 2023 SPN rewatch: liveblogging and analysis posts generated by my ongoing rewatch. [currently on season 12]
  • End of the Book podcast: Hey, I write for that! EOTBpod started as a reaction and analysis podcast for The Winchesters, and is being reorganized as a general analysis podcast for Supernatural, The Winchesters, and any other projects in the SPN universe that may come down the pipeline. [Currently on hiatus out of respect for the WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes as we have creatives on the show who are currently members or may be future members of both unions and we're not trying to cross picket lines here]

further tags and links TBA as I think of it or as they become relevant

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Here’s a parallel I noticed that highlights the difference between Cas relationship with Dean and Cas relationship with Sam pretty well. Episodes 10x22 vs 14x15

When MOC Dean is beating up Cas, Cas doesn’t hit back even once. The most he does is try to bear hug him from behind to calm him down. But not a single punch.

When Sam is Justin Smith, Cas says he won’t hurt him, but he actually does pick him up and slam him into the ground. It’s not a big deal, obviously he knows Sam can take it, but it’s something he wouldn’t even do with Dean.

Before the actual fighting, Cas tells dean, “I’m your friend… I’ll be the one that watches you murder the world.” And then when MOC Dean is on top of Cas holding the angel blade to him, Cas holds onto the wrist Dean has on his tie and the only thing he says is, “please”. He doesn’t even try to grab the hand holding the knife. And then Dean stops.

On the other hand, when Sam is on top of Cas trying to stab him, Cas uses an entirely different approach. He’s forcibly holding back Sam’s arm that’s holding the angel blade. He tells him he understands that he wants to be happy, but that if he does this he fails the people they lost. He says “if you do this you fail Jack. Sam, you fail Dean.” And that makes Sam stop.

The difference that’s so stark is that Cas has to appeal to Sam through talking about Dean. But Cas can appeal to Dean through his own relationship to him. He doesn’t need to bring up what it will do to Sam or anyone else, because their own relationship is powerful enough and he knows it.

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have we talked lately about how absolutely insane it makes me that dean has a GED

because it’s like. it’s like. we know from after school special that he at least started his senior year of high school. so at some point, with maximum one and half semesters left, he dropped out. and you COULD SAY well maybe dean just hated school maybe it wasn’t for him maybe he WANTED to drop out and sure that’s a valid argument but consider! WHY would he then put in the effort to get his GED?? you have to schedule that! it’s four tests! there was no online option until 2020, so he had to physically go sit four exams. which means he either went four times, or he sat a nearly 8 hour exam in one day. and either way, that sounds to me like someone who cares about their education and just had something get in the way the first time. like, say, family affairs. perhaps a father who “needed you for this case, dean. what are you gonna need with a high school diploma anyway? you’re cut out to be a hunter, dean, and a damn good one, so you’re gonna have fake records all your life anyway, just like me. so stop wasting your time on school now, come on”

and that’s another point. if all he cared about was “finishing high school,” he could have doctored himself a record. but he wanted to actually do it. he wanted to achieve. my sweet sweet boy who wanted to be a rockstar slash mechanic, who understands engineering and built a homemade emf detector out of an old walkman, he wanted to go to school and prove himself and dig himself out of this life he never asked for. just like sam. but he couldn’t stand up for himself. because even if he’d been willing to piss john off bad enough to get kicked out, where did that leave 14 year old sam? and he couldn’t damn sam to stay with their father alone. the day he dropped out of high school was just another version of the day he left sonny’s. it was never what he wanted. it was always for sam

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Dude I love the Indian lake books so much! I've got the third one but haven't read it yet. Jade and Letha are fantastic and I'm obsessed with them

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Literally some of the best literary horror I've ever read, I'm obsessed. After I finished the first book I just sort of had to stare at the wall and experience shrimp emotions for awhile and it's lived rent free in my head ever since.

I'm on track to finish up Don't Fear The Reaper tomorrow and hopefully on my next payday I can scoop up Angel of Indian Lake. Absolutely heartily recommend this series to any fans of the slasher genre who want to read an indigenous take on it (though of course keep in mind that it is very much slasher horror and comes with all the trappings thereof).

Also may I just say: Dark Mill South is the coolest serial killer/slasher name in history and I would like to shake Stephen Graham Jones's hand for that alone.

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aliveboydean

also i have never thought of dean allowing gadreel to possess sam as a violation of sam’s autonomy. dean was acting basically as a healthcare proxy for his brother who was in a coma, making medical decisions for sam because sam was not able to do so himself. it’s not like sam was sitting there actively saying “do not under any circumstances let a strange angel possess me” and dean went ahead and did it anyway, directly violating sam’s vocal wishes. multiple times over the course of s8, whenever dean and sam had talked about it, sam had said that he didn’t want to die, he wanted to live. based off the information he had, dean made yes an admittedly drastic decision, but not one that’s totally out of left field for the in-universe world? when dean was dying in season three, sam wanted him to harvest organs and keep himself alive like frankenstein’s monster. so. let’s have some perspective

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ilarual

@swordofsun yep you nailed it. The show makes it explicitly clear that Dean cannot say yes on Sam's behalf— the angel "yes" isn't transitive, otherwise Dean's "I don't know what I'm agreeing to but I'm saying yes to doing whatever you want" to Cas in 04.21 would have led to Michael immediately possessing him the second it was convenient.

Dean makes it explicitly clear two or three separate times in 09.01 that this is ultimately Sam's choice and he cannot make it for him. The fact that Gadreel subsequently uses deception and assuming a false identity to coerce an uninformed yes from Sam is, to be clear, something Gadreel did. Not Dean. Gadreel. Something which Dean immediately follows up by trying to tell Sam the truth right away, only to be himself coerced into keeping quiet by a threat to Sam's safety.

Dean's only real involvement in the choices that got made were 1) his initial call for help to any and all angels after Cas didn't (couldn't) respond and 2) the vetting of "Ezekiel" as someone he could trust not to screw them over, the failure of which is not his fault since he did in fact get information from a trusted source and it is very much not his fault that Gadreel was lying about his identity. Everything from that point on is Dean repeatedly stating that it's Sam's choice and ultimately agreeing that "Ezekiel" can go ahead with the possession... if Sam agrees to it.

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Being a deancrit is calling Dean an abuser for things Sam and Cas also did and for things that didn’t happen or have been so grossly misrepresented that a normal viewer can barely connect the deancrit’s argument to the show.

All it takes to be a samcrit is pointing out things Sam canonically did in Supernatural.

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The Info-Dumpers who Love Characters Website is totally sleeping on the best Info-Dumping Character of All Time:

Jade Daniels, the 17 year-old half-indigenous girl from Stephen Graham Jones’ My Heart is a Chainsaw.

In everyone’s defense, character-driven slow-burn literary fiction that is also a slasher (stab stab 🔪🔪🩸) is a hard genre to sell. Many of us who love one part of this equation don’t love the other.

But Jade has captured my whole chainsaw ♥️, and I CANNOT be normal about it. Jade has never met a person at whom she wasn’t willing to spout random facts that they have exhibited no interest in. She can bring ANYTHING back around to connect to her hyperfixation which is, coincidentally, slasher movies. And she is the most vivid, alive, real-to-me protagonist I have ever encountered. Because of the way she hyperfixates and info dumps, not in spite of it. (Which surely says something about me but again, I am among friends on this webbed site!)

Jade makes completely normal, totally hinged choices like:

  • (When we the audience are first introduced to her) Going up to a group of construction workers having a trash fire in the middle of the night and being like, “If we were in a slasher right now, this is what the plot line would be. Also, have some random slasher movie facts.” (Their response: Are you okay? You seem like you are not okay.)
  • Writing extra credit essays for her history teacher about the tropes and conventions of the slasher genre. For four years. Not what he asked for, but what he got. (These essays are included in the book and are a godsend for those of us who are not already slasher fans! They literally help the reader understand the story beats as they unfold, while simultaneously giving life to Jade’s voice and helping us understand what makes her tick.)
  • Deciding the New Girl At School has all the qualities of a Final Girl, the slasher film trope in which there is one girl left alive to confront the killer and stop the slasher cycle.
  • Trying to warn the New Girl At School that she is going to be The Final Girl, by putting a VHS copy of the 1971 slasher Bay of Blood and all of Jade’s slasher extra credit essays in her mailbox. With a note. A note that says that she is going to be The Final Girl in a slasher cycle that seems to be starting up. (Jade is just trying to help! So helpful.)

Of course, the core of this novel is: What is going on with Jade? After all, she actually wants a slasher cycle to start in her town. (She also wants the slasher cycle to be stopped at the proper moment, to ensure that the vengeance of the slasher is balanced by the justice of the Final Girl.) She does not see herself as a possible Final Girl, but she is willing to help the richer, prettier, more appropriate classmate who she thinks is that girl. Why, why, why?

To be clear, the novel does not posit that something must be wrong with a person to be intensely, obsessively interested in something or for that thing to be horror- even slashers! But Jade’s behavior is, like I said, not entirely hinged, even for a slasher fan. Something must be up.

The novel gives us all the clues we need to peel back the layers of what’s really happening, and when truths are revealed, everything just *clicks.* Themes are introduced and then reinforced on multiple levels. There is a bear. 🐻 (The bear is the not the slasher.)

And throughout, Jade gets to be fully-human and fully seven-fucking-teen. Even though she is on the cusp of adulthood, she is still a child, and a wounded one at that. (Her wounds in no way fucking diminish her.)  Her judgment is often impaired. Her actions are often questionable. Her hair-dye jobs gets so bad, even she thinks its gross. She is so alive, and so deserving of love. 🥹 

I love her.

I would fight for her.

I desperately want to make soup for her, and let her tell me about the Scream franchise (I do not care about the Scream franchise), and give her a safe place to sleep. Even if doing so makes it way more likely that I’m about to get murdered.

Jade Fucking Daniels. My chainsaw-hearted, info-dumping hero protagonist. I salute you, my final girl.

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