In need of a silver suppository?

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#785 WE’RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS

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#210 Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling “YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!!”

The fountain pen

Gif set requested by @kingsmanhartwin

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#520 So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.

(704): My apologies. I’ll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.

a gift to my friend~ Bondage & Discipline

I really want a First-Kiss fic, where Harry initiates it in the middle of doing something mundane with Eggsy like paperwork. He looks over at Eggsy, at the way his hair shines golden in the office light. Eggsy looks up and catches his eyes and *grins*, before turning back to the task at hand. And suddenly, Harry realizes what Merlin has been telling him for months: the younger man’s in love with him.

So he leans over and kisses Eggsy, taking him completely by surprise and it is cute and fluffy and

Someone do this for me pls I need it like burning

Harry was so immersed in paperwork, that when Eggsy came to his office he barely spoke. Of course he recognized him, the young man was the only one to enter without knocking and waiting for permission, so the only thing he mumbled was a “you can sit” while still filing some reports.

Eggsy stayed silent for a while, until he spoke, a strange tone into his voice. “I reckon you’re not available for lunch.”

Harry looked up only in that moment, almost getting blinded by from the shining sun entering in the window. Crouched as he was on his desk, it hurt. “Lunch?” a look at the watch, and he saw it was almost 2 p.m. Too late for lunch, for the lunch he promised the knight to celebrate his new success on field. “Oh, Eggsy, I’m so sorry. I completely forgot, after that meeting with MI6 I–”

“No worries, bruv” Eggsy was quick to interrupt. “‘s no problem if you’re busy. Anyway, should I go? Y’know, leaving ya to your work…”

Harry shook his head. “No, you can stay” he softed his gaze, a small private smile all for Eggsy. “Besides, I recall you have your own paperwork to do. My office will do, if it’s not too much; this way I can control you and prevent your little mischievous mistakes.”

“Mistakes? I don’t know what you’re on about, bruv.”

Eggsy didn’t look away, cheeky and challenging. Harry sighed. “One day, Merlin will ask for your head on a silver plate, and I won’t be able to stop him.”

Eggsy grinned. “Today’s not the day.”

____________

Not even half an hour later, Eggsy was doing his homework in Arthur’s office, side by side with Harry. The older man had removed some of his files, the finished ones, and put them in a drawer to make room for Eggsy.

He also stole a pen from his, because he was so excited to be allowed there that he forgot a thing or two. They worked in a comfortable silence for a long while, the sun slowly moving in the sky till it litghened the whole office like it was directly inside it.

Harry’s eyes were throbbing, tired and sore from all that work, so he decided to take a little break and looked up. He looked at the opposite wall of his office, his gaze travelling along the big full shelves, until a voice called him back from his own thoughts.

Eggsy had huffed loudly, probably finding something in his paperwork boring, annoying or incredibly difficult to answer to. Knowing him, it was probably the first; both of them thought it was always boring. Everything boring.

Harry turned to look at the young man who was fidgeting, but when he did so, he got speechless.

Eggsy was at his right, exactly between him and one of the window, and the sun was directly behing him. His gold hair was shining, his blue-green eyes glowing like there were stars in them, and his expression was so innocent and adorable that Harry couldn’t help himself.

He memorized the little furrow of his eyebrows frowned, the angles of his plump lips slighty turned down in what definitely was boreness and annoyance, his straight nose slighty crimped.

Yes, Harry couldn’t help himself. He was staring.

Eggsy was wonderful under the office light, and if Harry had to be honest, it wasn’t the first time he thought this of the young man. His poor head-over-heels heart in love never failed to remind him how gorgeous that boy was.

He kept staring at him, drinking in his sight, his chest aching, and he was about to speak when Eggsy seemed to sense his stare.

He looked up, blue-green eyes locked with brown, and he grinned at him. He grinned open-mouthed, flashing him his personal blinding smile, and Harry was gone.

He wondered what did he do to deserve such a reaction from the man he himself loved so much, what kind god sent him Eggsy, such a magnificent creature. He was still waiting for the young man to get tired of him, but that didn’t seem possible when Eggsy was grinning at him like that.

And suddenly, everything was clear. When he asked Merlin how could Eggsy wait all day and all night for him to wake up from a coma, how could he stand the boring safe routing Harry decided for himself to not lose control after every mission. How could he come at him and bear him when he was irritated and angry after a bad meeting.

In that exactly moment, the answer was clear, and it was the one Merlin gave him that first time. “The boy’s fallen for you.”

Man, was he right all along. How could Harry be so stupid and not see it? How could he love Eggsy with all his soul, and not understand the boy felt the same?

Harry almost felt ashamed for being an oblivious idiot.

Eggsy was still silently working, not bothered at all by Harry staring at him, when he heard the man calling his name.

A soft, kind whisper of just one word, just “Eggsy.”

And the young man turned at him without hesitation, because there was nothing he wouldn’t do for Harry. He looked up with wonder, curiousity making his eyebrow relax and raising a bit, his lips falling open the least.

Wasn’t it pure temptation for Harry.

So it was no surprise when he gave up and leant in Eggsy’s personal space, peace and warm feelings filling his aching chest. He cupped Eggsy’s neck with a hand, his thumb gently brushing his jawlined, and he felt the exact moment when Eggsy’s pulse jumped high.

It was in the same moment Harry’s lips pressed on his.

Eggsy tensed for a brief moment, not believing what was indeed happening, then relaxed all over with Harry. He couldn’t believe Harry fucking Hart was kissing him, but it was, he was.

Eggsy let a shaddering breath against Harry’s mouth, and after a couple of seconds Harry pulled away, his fond eyes never leaving the young boy’s.

“I believe that’s enough work for today. Do you agree with me, Eggsy?” Harry’s voice was soft and smooth like velvet, almost composed as always, but Eggsy was able to tell the kiss affected him as much as it affected Eggsy himself.

At first, the young knight only nodded, not trusting his voice. “Never agree more”, and in fact, it was hoarse. Harry laughed, sending a blinding smile in his direction, and Eggsy grinned like before, his blood pumping fast in his veins, making him feel dizzy and high.

Adrenaline was rushing in his system, like when he jumped from the plane. Yes, Eggsy could finally tell that kissing Harry was like flying.

He chuckled at that ridiculous thought, but when Harry asked silently with his eyes what was the matter, he shook his head and closed his mouth on his again.

That time, it was not chaste.

Eggsy complied just for the first instants, but then he asked for access to Harry’s closed lips, his tongue gently caressing them. His heart lost a beat when Harry smiled, but he didn’t have enough time to recover, because right after the older man opened his mouth and their tongue touched in a soft, sweet rhythm, which made Eggsy moan helplessly against him.

Saying that Harry was expert was not saying enough. His tongue licked his mouth with soft, calculated thrust, and it made Eggsy’s blood boil in the sweetest way. He moaned again, and Harry laughed.

They kept kissing until Eggsy joined Harry in the laughter, and they pulled away from each other to simply intertwine their fingers. They laughed breathlessly till it was too much, and there were tears in their eyes. Harry almost let go of Eggsy’s hands to brush them away.

Inhaling Eggsy’s scent with his forehead pressed against his, he didn’t have anything to say. Except, maybe, for “I should have done this before.”

Eggsy chuckled again. “Yeah, you should” he replied, grinning widely. “But I’m happy you did it now.”

Harry never agreed more.

@prodigalqueer here you are c:

[ @takeanotherpieceofmyhartwin @bisexualeggy @harryeggsy @hartwinorlose @faedreamer @lokidiabolus @kingsmanhartwin @turtlenovas @lazylahey ]

(415): Pretty much all i’ve had today is sugar and orgasms

I would love to see more of this Harry. The ruthless, multi-lingual, guns blazin, SAS kind of Harry. Yes?

And I’m sure Eggsy would get a major kick out of seeing this version of him too.

“Fuckin’ hell, Harry. You are Jack Bauer.”

so where exactly is the hartwin dumspter everyone is chillin in i need a place to stay 

(403): I’ve never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It’s actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.

used free poster mockup

OMG