Pop Pop

Co-signed

Running in the snow

the last line hit me like a fuckin sledgehammer

I am always saying this during museum visits

most important thing to remember about being a woman is if youre married you have to go under the covers with your husband and laugh cutely and play wrestle so when you die to progress the narrative he can remember it in slow motion montages

in this world we all have our roles

I got a mental health wellness app and decided my first entry was going to be about a videogame I played that day

No no no we can't make this a holiday I beg you

Bad and naughty electric ghosts don’t get to use the mower

hired a galapagos finch at my burger joint and after 2 generations it evolved to take peoples orders

hater of socks

what is your problem !!!

it’ll never fail to amaze me that chessex, the game dice company - like if you bought your first dice set from a game store/comic shop/card shop you most certainly bought a chessex set - has such an ugly and poorly designed website. it looks like they went out of business 15 years ago.

i don’t know what’s better, the fact that they only sell five different things and felt like they needed a site map, the single uk location with the giant union jack, or simply the times new roman header which reads:

“The coolest dice on the planet.”  ™

THEY HAVEN’T UPDATED THEIR WEBSITE IN TEN YEARS????

my mistake, literally every single page you click on has a different copyright date. so far I’ve seen 2001, 2005, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2011, and most recently 2012. amazing. well done chessex.

BUT LANA HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY TO ORDER DICE?????

you….you have to email them your order form. oh, gods. you…have to type your credit card information. into an email. so they can charge you seven dollars in shipping or 7% of the total order cost if it’s over $100. fuck. if you have questions about the cost of air shipping, you can fax them anytime. jesus christ. oh gods. fuck. fuck me up. chessex. the coolest dice on the planet.  ™

this is another reason why I let my friendly local store make my chessex orders for me

Me: The Chessex website isn’t real and can’t hurt me:

The Chessex website:

The best part is that this is literally by design

amazing

oh my god

These are the only people doing internet sales correctly

At first I was like, “Aw, he’s discovering icy crusty snow for the first time, cute!” and then I was like “Oh NO, he’s REALLY discovering icy crusty snow for the first time, RIP”

I can’t stop watching this, it so perfectly encapsulates the feeling of admiring how incredible and beautiful snow can be and then immediately being inconvenienced by it like “oh, yeah, that’s right, fuck this shit”

elon musk had a third child with grimes that he kept secret until the release of his biography. he named it techno mechanicus

can you imagine being an adult nepo baby at a company your rich dad invested in and having to walk into the boardroom first day like. hi everyone. my name is techno mechanicus

I can tell this is fake because "techno mechanicus" doesn't start with X

OH SON OF A BITCH

I haven't been reblogging this post because I genuinely assumed you guys were Goncharoving a nepo baby

got his ass, now roast him

yes…ha ha ha…YES!

Chewed her down into bits

Fragrance discussions bring out the worst in people