Hiatus
Alright, let’s do this,
This post has been sitting in my drafts for quite some time. I’ve been taking breaks on this blog thinking I will get my love for it back and I can start up again, but I’ve reached a point where I’ve finally realized I’m done with this blog. In August, I will have had this blog for four years and I am just not happy with it anymore.
I struggled on whether I should be honest about my hiatus or if anyone cares, but I’m gonna go ahead and get it off my chest because I’ve alluded to my reasons in the past anyway. This blog made me hate writing and convinced me I wasn’t good at it whatsoever.
Notes had never affected me in my years on here. I was always happy with the amount of notes I got and they didn’t influence my writing. Even stories like Underworld where chapters didn’t get many notes, the responses I received to the story made me happy and I didn’t bat an eye at the numbers.
Then I noticed there were other writing blogs out there doing much better than I was and I had been on here much longer. So I started mixing it up, doing drabbles and taking requests and trying to write whatever would make readers happy. Since there were many people following me, I felt I owed it to you to constantly put out new content and step up my game.
I was in a bad place with my mental health when I noticed that I posted new writing and it only got about 30 notes. And since I had over 15k followers that made me think that what I was posting just wasn’t any good. To me, that meant only a tiny, tiny fraction of people that were following me for my writing actually enjoyed what I was posting.
That’s when I gave up writing for a bit; what I wrote on here and what I wrote on other projects, which sucked because writing has always been kind of like a coping mechanism for me in a way with my anxiety. Eventually I started up the other fanfic blog which I haven’t linked to this one because I want a fresh start. On the new blog, I write what I want and when I want. I’m not trying to please anyone but myself.
The reason this blog is over is no one’s fault but mine. I knew if I was honest like this it would seem like I was shifting blame to everyone else and I promise I’m not trying to do that. I admit that I allowed this blog to put a negative feeling on something I really enjoy doing (whether I’m good at it or not) and I let the numbers influence my mindset to the extent I couldn’t be satisfied with anything I posted.
Anyway, I know lots of you will think I’m being dramatic. Oh, well. I’m an Aries. It can’t be helped. I just wanted to put some kind of explanation out there because I know there are a few things left for me to finish on this blog. I’m probably not going to finish them. The only writing I can think of continuing is the sequel to All In, which I may turn into a full series on my new blog. I don’t know yet. I just know I enjoyed the premise of All In and wouldn’t mind moving the story further.
I’ve apologized before and I’ll apologize again to those of you who have been nothing but kind and supportive to me on this blog. From the bottom of my heart, your words were much needed and really appreciated. It hurts to let this blog go after almost four years, but I just can’t see myself ever coming back on here and picking up where I left off.
I’m still active on tumblr all the time. I live for gifs and memes. I am happily posting on my new blog and working through some big changes in my personal life. So, I’m still around.
Thank you again to all the friends I have made on here and to those of you who enjoyed my writing at one point or another.
All the best,
Leigh :)