Rejected

We’ve all received a message like this at some point. Sometimes it stings worse than others, but it is never pleasant. It’s particularly discouraging when you worked diligently at something and still came up short. It’s easy to become bitter or blame something/someone else, but this just makes a lousy situation worse. So here are a few tips I’ve found helpful on how to deal with rejection.

Check Your Emotions

When you’re rejected, for whatever reason, it can feel very personal. Even if there is a legitimate reason it can be difficult to push your feelings aside. Your initial reaction may be to get defensive or lash out, but acting on this can lead down a slippery slope. You may end up burning bridges or losing friends if you just snap back.

I’ve found the best course of action is to remove yourself from the situation and take your time to process everything. If you’re in person, politely excuse yourself and take a walk. If on the phone, let the person finish and then politely end the conversation, being sure to schedule a time to call them back if necessary. Once you are in a clear state of mind it’s time to come up with a plan.

Turn Your Emotion into Motivation

There may be a valid reason(s) for being turned down, and it can be as simple as you’re not the right fit for what the person is looking for. Unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do about their decision, but you can control what you do next. In my experience, the best thing to do is turn your frustration into motivation. Don’t sulk and wallow in self-pity, that’s how they win. You have to brush it off, gather yourself and go after the next one even harder. Learn what went awry and figure out how to avoid similar mistakes.

Learn from Your Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes, it’s human nature. The key is to accept this as fact and remind yourself when it happens that it’s not the end.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”-Thomas A. Edison

Try to find out exactly what it was that didn’t work. This will help identify areas that may need improvement or a change altogether. If you’re unable to ask the person directly, review your work/behavior etc. and see if there’s anything that stands out in retrospect. Once you know what’s wrong, you can begin to work on fixing the problem. That’s how you progress and become better for it.

Don’t Quit

These tips are not guaranteed to prevent rejection from ever happening again. Much like using shampoo, it may be necessary to rinse and repeat multiple times. You might make all the changes required and still come up short. That’s ok! The important part is to never give up.

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”-Thomas A. Edison

So the next time you are rejected take a step back, come up with a plan, learn from your mistakes and give it hell all over again. Your success is right around the corner.

T.Y.

Immortality

This will be a seemingly endless rant, written under duress about what happens after one dies. Ye be warned.

I’ve given up any notion that there’s some all-powerful deity looking down on us and choosing what atrocity to put us through next. My reasons aren’t the typical arguments you’d receive from an atheist, agnostic or whatever other labels that would apply. It’s not because I have scientific proof or that I’m bitter about my hand in life, no. My lost religion stems from a feeling of apathy. I don’t know what happens after you die, and I don’t care. 

It isn’t as pessimistic as it sounds. If anything there’s a bit of hope to be derived from this shattered way of thinking. What happens after death is irrelevant. What matters is what we do in life and how we choose to live it. The punishment or reward normally associated with hell or heaven works out on its own. If you’re a shitty person in life who uses people and loves things, then your name and legacy will be forgotten. The memory of you will extinguish the moment you take your last breath. 

On the other hand, if you’re a good person who does right by others, who cares for and loves your family, who puts other people before yourself, then your legacy will live on through the people you’ve affected during your life. People will carry the memory of you fondly in their hearts. They will reminisce and tell your story to their loved ones, and their children and through that love you gain immortality.

My grandfather was an extraordinary man.  He will live on forever through his grandchildren, and we will always carry his memory fondly in our hearts. If there is a heaven there is certainly no one person more deserving full access than Gary Frederickson.

RIP Grandpa 

T.Y.

A link to the past

This coffee tastes like it’s 150 years old!

Augie’s Coffee Roasters is a local chain of coffee shops here in southern California that offers a fresh take on something classic; the black bitter stuff. At every one of their stores, you’ll be treated to a delicious beverage regardless of what you choose, as well as local art and a friendly staff. However, the main selling point for me is the overall experience you get while visiting one of their shops. Each is decorated slightly differently but manages to maintain an intriguing cohesiveness. Their newest location in Temecula, however, may be one of the most special places I’ve ever been to.

Vail Headquarters

In 1867 a man named Louis Wolf built a small trading post next to Temecula Creek. Along with his wife Ramona, Louis opened the Wolf Store which over the years has served as a hotel, saloon, and a general store, among other things. It was in this adobe building that residents of the newly formed Temecula community could purchase their dry goods and supplies, not the least of which being coffee. Mr. Wolf operated the store until his death in 1897. It has since been restored as part of the Vail Ranch Restoration Association and I for one couldn’t be happier about it. The history and importance that this simple building has stood for going on 150 years symbolize the pioneering spirit that makes this country so great.

Source: http://vailhq.com/history/

Augie’s

Carrying on that spirit in their own way, Augie’s now occupies the adobe serving delicious coffee to the community of Temecula. Time has a way of changing things and there are few constants that can stand up to it. This simple coffee shop seems to embody more than one of those constants which translate to a special place to visit. Augie’s Coffee House is a perfect fit for the former Wolf store, and if Mr. Wolf could see it now I’m sure he’d smile as he ordered an iced chai latte. Or maybe just a coffee.

Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/BK30Dw9hObz/

So if you’re an adventurer, a coffee lover, a history buff, or any combination of the three, I urge you head down to Vail Headquarters and experience this special place for yourself. To find more information, please visit http://vailhq.com/

T.Y.

Happy New Year

While I’m not one to perpetuate the “new year, new me” garbage that normally consists of empty resolutions by social media addicts who are trying to convince themselves more than the people they are sharing them with, I do feel like this January 1st is a new start. I have no doubt this year will have its challenges and tribulations, but I feel somehow refreshed and ready to take it all on. Part of it is from my rediscovered excitement for writing and the opportunities it will present.  A larger part is because I feel like all of the hardships and drama are in the past and no longer weigh me down. The hands on the clock pointed directly to the sky symbolize a barrier between the last year and this one. As soon as midnight struck I felt as if a weight had been lifted. This year is a blank canvas and I’m ready to create new memories with the love of my life.  I hope you all find something to be excited about with the coming of this new year. Cheers to new beginnings!

T.Y.

“Buy the ticket, take the ride.”

It’s often said that getting started is the hardest part and I’d have to agree. I don’t know about you, but I hate being bad at something. I like to enter into a new venture with a full understanding of what it will involve, as to not make a fool of myself. I’ll research the topic endlessly through web articles, YouTube videos, community forums etc. And while this definitely helps in gaining an understanding, it can also be paralyzing. There’s so much information out there and if you try to read through it all before jumping in then you’ll never take the leap. That’s why I’ve decided to stop procrastinating and start this blog. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, even if I’ve only realized it recently. Life isn’t about having all the answers ahead of time, you learn as you go. it’s part of the adventure and I hope this will be just that…

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!” ― Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967

How many Thompson quotes are too many? 

T.Y.