Girls Like Girls

when the harmonica solo goes on a little too long

tumblr i have been here for almost a decade

Took you long enough to figure it out idiot

Me reading enemies to lovers fics in 2012

Me reading enemies to lovers fics in 2021

Plot twist. It’s the same ship.

Plot twist. It's the same fic.

Plot twist. It still hasn't updated.

Plot twist. The author updated after a decade thanks to your nice comment.

I want to be a white dad in a horror movie

Currently moving my brunette wife and our dejected children into an abandoned ghost factory for a fresh start

Honey, don't worry about our daughter's new habit of standing in front of the security camera in her playroom and murmuring about bones every night. That's probably just something women do

Why shouldn't our son play in the pitch black sub-basement that was walled shut with bricks until I started renovations? He's a growing boy

Finally caving to my wife's irrational fear and typing "ghosts?" into the Google search bar

I really feel this.

Or maybe...

#his faces are everything to me

Things To Never Say To Someone Who Just Came Out by the Onion.

“Girls gays and theys” <- uninclusive while trying to be inclusive. Bad. Makes me uncomfortable.

“Ladies, gentlemen, and other distinguished guests” <- inclusive but far, far too formal

“Alrighty gamers” <- Incisive of everyone, informal, and fun to say.

“Everypony” <== pisses everyone off.  flawless

honestly if tumblr unbanned NSFW we could enter like a golden age

twitter would have absolutely no appeal then

twitter has no appeal Now

but it only works if 4 people are having sex lol

how many hands you got

two? don’t see how that’s relevant

allow me illustrate you

that’s still four people

i truly can’t make this any clearer

will smith isn’t gay. he has a wife and three beautiful, talented children

don’t know what you’re on about. will smith and slightly wider blue will smith have been married for years. they’re a hollywood love story

I can’t believe this post predicted the live action Aladdin genie

If we lose tumblr how will we ever replace these posts in which every reply feels like a punch in the face

Prev X2 tags you are so right

[OPENS FRIDGE, REMOVES TUPPERWARE CONTAINER LABELLED "Pomegranates from land of dead do not eat"]

[I REMOVE A SECOND CONTAINER LABELLED "Fairy apples do not eat (Autumn Court)]

[I APPROACH THE BLENDER]

question to all girls

where tf do you put your titters when you go to sleep

In the titter drawer, you neanderthal.

ok namaste

If the town of Folks made memes:

This took so fucking long to make, but please do enjoy

My favourite type of movie is “period piece romance but fantasy-horror hijinks happen and now everyone has to adapt to the new genre or die,” ala Curse of the Black Pearl, Anastasia, The Mummy (1999)

"everybody has to adapt to the new genre" is really criminally underutilized in general