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You Will Be Loved - by peetae

This fic is based on the song “She Will Be Loved” from the Maroon 5 and the movie/book “The Last Song” by Nicholas Sparks - but ofcourse I gave it a twist. English is not my native lanuage but I tried to write at my best English :) You can also find it on FF.net and AO3. Hope you like this one-shot !

—-xxx—-

You Will Be Loved

No. No mum. Please say you are kidding me. 

That is what Katniss Everdeen thought when her mum said the news.

"Katniss, I talked with your father…" her mother said.

"Why would you talk to him?" Katniss interrupted. 

"Katniss, he is your father. You have to give him a second chance."

"He left us, mum. He LEFT us for a singing career he doesn’t haveSinging was more important to him than his family!" 

"He just wanted to follow his dream…"

"Without us? Aren’t we a part of his dream?"

"Katniss, enough! You are going to spend this summer with John!" her mother shouted and Katniss walked away and slammed the door behind her. She just had to leave. She just had to go to her woods and hunt. 

Look, if it was for a few days, she could handle it. She could shut him out and stay at her room. But it is for a few weeks.

Now she is at her hill, watching her view, with her bow and arrows next to her. Prim would like it, to spend the summer with her father. She forgives easily and is always happy. She even went a few afternooms to him. Katniss is, on the other hand, not a kind of person who forgives easily. And when someone hurt her deep, like her father did, she shuts people out. She cannot use pain. 

Why is she still seventeen. In two months, she will be eightteen, and an adult. Then her mother cannot push her anymore, or her father.

Katniss sighs and takes her bow and arrows. No animal to see. Just singing birds.

Birds. Singing. It reminds her of her father.

She used to sing a lot when she was little. It was something she did with her father and she actually liked it. But now, singing is the reason her father left her and she hates it. She hates her father. She hates singing. And she will never sing again.

Katniss walks to the village where she lives. She has no choice. She can’t leave Prim alone with her father. She loves Prim.

"There you finally are!" her ten year old sister says with a smile on her face. 

"Yeah," Katniss mumbles. 

"Mum, Katniss is home!" 

Her mother walks to her daughters. “Finally. Katniss, your suitcase is still inside. Can you bring it to the car? Oh, and you leave your bow and arrows here.”

"What!?" Katniss shouts. "Are you insane?"

"Katniss, please stop making all this drama! Just leave it here! You cannot hunt at a beach! Listen to me for one time for Gods sake!"

"This is torture!" Katniss yells and she runs inside. 

"Katniss, come on! Take your suitcase, leave your weapons and get in the fucking car!" her mother screams. 

Katniss feels tears in her eyes, but she won’t, she won’t cry. Six weeks with her father at a place where she don’t know anyone. Six weeks at a damn beach. Six weeks without a bow. It is torture.

And she is still seventeen. Goddamn seventeen. 

She grabs her suitcase, throw it in the car and gets in. She is not going to say a word to her mother again. 

Prim also gets in the car, next to her mother, who also gets in.

"Katniss, please look a bit more happy," her mother asks.

Katniss starts to look even more angry and put in her earphones. Her mother sighs and starts the car. 5 hours in the damn car for her damn father. Damn, damn, damn. 

After ten songs on her iPod, Prim breaks the silence, as she always does.

"So mum, dad asked us to spend with him the summer?" 

"He did, and I agreed."

Of course you did. So you can go to a wellness center with your friend and leave us by that asshole.

"Do you still have a lot contact?" Prim asks. 

"Yes, actually yes. I still love him you know, but in a different way."

Katniss leaves an angry sigh. Shut the fuck up.

"So he knows that I want to become a doctor?"

"He knows, Prim. He asks a lot about you and Katniss."

"Yeah he wrote us. I read all his letters, but Katniss didn’t." 

"Well, that is Katniss’ choice."

"I am here too, remember?" Katniss wants to say, but she remembered she was not going to talk to her mother. 

"Does he know that Katniss has a tattoo and that she got arrested?" Prim asks.

Enough. Katniss loves her sister to death, but she stepped over the line.

"SHUT UP!" Katniss shouts. "It wasn’t my fault! Do you still not believe me?" 

"Hey, Katniss can talk," her mother deadpans. 

"Shut up," Katniss whispers and turns on the volume. She is crying inside. Inside. 

—-

4 hours later, they arrived at Panem, the city who is at the coast and the city where John Everdeen lives. The city where Katniss is going to spend her summer. And it makes it even worse that is actually a cool city. Lots of restaurants and shops, and the beach looks pretty. Katniss has never been here, because her father always went to their house. When he did that, Katniss went to the woods and stayed there the rest of the day, and at night she went to Gale, a friend her mother hates. Gale is her huntingpartner, and her mother hates it that she hunts. That is why she does it so much. But she also really loves it.

"I can see dad!" Prim says happily and she opens the door and jumps out of the car. Her mother smiles and also goes out the car. 

John opens the door of his house and Prim jumps into his arms. He smiles. He looks really happy.

The asshole.

Katniss looks out the window and she sees everything. One happy family without her. It would be better if she wasn’t a part of the family.

Her father looks at her, with the same grey eyes as she has. He has messy grey hair now. The last time she saw him, it was black. But that was 6 years ago. 

He smiles. And Katniss steps also out of the car this time. 

"Katniss…." he starts and wants to give her a hand but Katniss slaps it away.

"If you think I am going to sing for you, well, I won’t! I haven’t sing in these 6 years and I will never, ever sing again! And absolutely not for you!" 

She runs away, to the beach behind her father’s house. Away from her father, from her mother. And all she can think is: why am I still seventeen. 

The sun is setting and it is a bit cold, but fortunatly Katniss is wearing her black jacket. The wind blows and makes huge waves in the sea. That is why there are a lot of surfers, probably. 10 or something.

It are all boys of her age, maybe older. Tanned, muscled boys. Her friend Madge would describe it as “hotties”. Katniss has no opinion about them, but they are surfing, and surfing looks kinda cool. Like they are controlling the waves. Maybe she could try it this summer, so she is not at her father’s house. 

Katniss sits down in the sand, watching the surfers from a distance. One by one the surfers go to beach and then go to the waves again. Like a game. And Katniss likes it. 

There is one surfer Katniss recognizes everytime he comes back. The surfer has blonde hair, almost gold in the setting sun. But the reason that she recognize him is that he has a tattoo of an arrow at his hip. A hunting arrow. It is a small tattoo, but it is still a tattoo of an arrow.

Katniss also has a tattoo of an arrow, at her arm. Almost the same size, just a bit different kind of arrow, but still a hunting arrow. Her mother was so angry when she saw the tattoo. 

"Why are rebelling the whole time? What have I done to you?"

She doesn’t understand that hunting is her passion. Okay, it started as an act of rebellion, but it became her passion. And when you take a tattoo, you don’t have to be rebel. Katniss just did it without her mother’s permission. 

Katniss keeps watching, for hours. Some surfers went home. Others stayed and kept going.

"Watching the hot guys?" a male voice says behind her. 

She turns around and behind her stands a bald man. 

"Nah, I was eh, just going to leave," Katniss says and she stands up. She doesn’t like this.

"But you had a great view," the man says with a low voice. "And so had I."

"Great. But I have to go," Katniss says, trying not to show how affraid she is. 

"Why?" And the man grabs her wrist. 

"That is none of your damn business."

"Oh cheeky, I like that. I’m Brutus," he whispers in her ear. "And you look hot tonight."

"Leave me alone!" Katniss says and tries to push him away. But he is too strong.

"Oh no, I won’t," he smiles and he grabs her jacket and pulls her closer. 

"Leave her alone!" a voice shouts. Brutus looks up, but before he can say anything, he is roughly pushed away. 

It is the blonde surfer. “Go away.”

Brutus laughs, but you can see that he is hurt, because of his face. “And you think you can handle me, blondie?”

"I say it one more time. Leave her alone. Or I will push you to the ground again and call the police." 

Brutus looks angry at the boy and then at Katniss. “I will find you. With my friends,” he whispers. He is drunk. The smell of alcohol walks into her nose. Brutus turns around and walks away into the darkness, leaving an affraid Katniss. What could have happened if this boy wasn’t here? She doesn’t want to think about it. She looks at the boy who just saved her. He has blue eyes, shimmering in the darkness. He takes her wrist gently. His hand is wet from the sea.

"Are you hurt?" he asks. 

"No," Katniss says. 

"Good…" the boy says, and he hestitate a bit. "Watch out for him. He is a creepy guy."

"I saw that," Katniss says. She should thank him. But she is too angry at herself, because she couldn’t handle it alone. And this handsome boy looks very cocky and she hates that,

The boy nodds. “Well, I was about to go home, actually. Bit cold to surf at night.” 

"Don’t you have wetsuit for that, or are you just trying to impress girls with your body?" 

She doesn’t meant to be mean to him and she doesn’t understand herself. This boy just saved her and she treats him like this? 

But the boy laughs. “No, I just prefer to surf without that wetsuit. But I think I have impressed you, because you were here watching all evening.”

She gives him an angry look. Who the hell does he think he is?

But he laughs again. “I’m Peeta by the way.” 

"Cool."

"You know this was actually meant to get to know your name."

"You didn’t ask it."

"What is your name?"

"That is none of your business, Peter."

"Peet-ah."

"Whatever." Katniss stands up and starts to walk away. She catches a glimp of the arrow tattoo at his hip. Goddamn. 

—-

"Katniss, where were you?" her father asks when Katniss walks inside.

"None of your business," she mumbles.

"It is my business. You are my daughter."

"That is not my fault!" 

Her father sighs. “Go to your room and have some sleep. You had a busy day.”

"Stop saying what I have to do." But Katniss walks to a door and tries to open it.

"That is the bathroom," her father says and he points to another door. "There is your room."

"Whatever." She opens the door and walks into the room. It is a tiny guestroom. She closes the door behind her.

"You know, I’m here too," she hears her sister say. 

"Prim! What are you doing here?" 

"This is also my room."

"Great." 

They are quiet for a while.

"Katniss?"

"Yes?" 

"Can you please give dad a chance? He is actually very nice, you know. You are always so angry at him." 

Because he left us.

"Maybe," Katniss says. "Go to sleep, little duck."

"Okay, Kat." 

—-

The next day when Katniss puts on her clothes, Prim wakes up.

"Katniss, listen! Dad is singing!"

And Katniss hears the beautiful voice of her father. 

Deep in the meadow

Under the willow

Katniss storms out of the room. 

"No! No! No! I won’t sing! You can sing what you want, but I won’t!" she shouts to her father. 

"Katniss, easy! I just…"

"You just sang the song we always sang together. I remember it. I am not stupid!"

"You are not stupid. But your voice is so beautiful and…"

"Stop it! I won’t sing!" 

She just thought about what her sister said. But now he was singing, their song… It was too much. 

"Okay…" her father whispers weakly and Katniss walks away.

"Where are you going?"

"Breakfast," she shouts and slams the door. 

—-

It is quiet in Panem at morning. It is 10 o’clock and a few people are walking at the beach behind the house of Katniss’ father.

Katniss is hungry, so she starts walking and hopes she will find a bakery or a supermarket or something. 

After 10 minutes, she finds a bakery, because of the smell. A delicious smell of fresh bread and pasteries walks into her nose, and she sees a bakery. “Panem Pastries”, is what the place is called and it looks very cosy and retro. She feels in her pockets and find some coins. Enough for a cup of coffee and something to eat, she guess. 

When she enters the bakery, a retro bell clingles and she walks to the counter. No one is there. 

"Can I help you?" a male voice says and a boy walks to the counter. It is the boy from yesterday, Peeta. Oh no. She hopes he doesn’t recognize her. But he does. "Hey."

She sighs angrilly. “No, I don’t need your help. You are not a hero or something.” 

Peeta laughs. “I work here, so I ask if I can help you. That is what you ask a customer when he or she enters your shop, you know.” 

"You work? Aren’t you busy enough to look at yourself in the mirror or something?" 

She hates it that he looks attracting and that he has a nice smile. She hates it that he helped her. She wish she didn’t need him yesterday.

Peeta laughs even louder. “You are a funny one, ma’am.” 

"Don’t call me ma’am. It’s Katniss," she sighs. He was going to know it, sooner or later.

"What a beautiful name," Peeta says and he looks like he means it. "What do you want, Katniss?" 

"A cappuchino and a donut."  

"Okay, take a seat, I’ll bring it."

"Ok."

Katniss walks to a table and a chair near a window. Peeta comes two minutes later with two cups of coffee and a donut. He is wearing dark jeans with a white v-neck tshirt and an apron. On his apron is his name written: “Peeta Mellark.” His blonde hair is a bit messy and he has curls, she realized. 

Peeta sits down at the other chair at Katniss’ table and gives her her coffee and donut, and takes his own cup.

"Why are you sitting here."

"Because I haven’t had my daily cup of coffee yet." 

"Okay but why here."

Peeta sighs. “Okay, I’m sorry if I offended you or something, or that I helped you yesterday…”

"You regret it that you helped me? Seri…"

"No," Peeta interrupts. "But it looks like you didn’t like it, and I am sorry for it."

She sighs. Peeta has nothing been but kind and she treats him like shit. She should… apologize. 

"No, it is just… It is so much and I can’t handle all of it! Fights with my mum, spending a whole summer with a father who I barely know, almost got raped and then you who saved me because I couldn’t handle it all by myself!" 

"Shh," Peeta says. "If you want to talk about it, I’m here." 

"No, I am not a talker."

"Do it when you think you are ready. If you want, of course."

She wish she could trust him. She wish she wasn’t affraid to get hurt. She wish she wasn’t mean. 

"Okay…" she whispers. 

Peeta gives her a warm smile. “Now, drink your coffee and relax. Enjoy your view.” 

He stands up and walks to the counter. “I’ll drink my coffee here.”

"Oh no, you can…"

"It is fine Katniss. Relax and enjoy your coffee."

She does. The coffee is delicious, and so is the donut. She stays at her place for a long time. Customers are walking in and out, but none take a seat. They all come to buy bread or cakes.

At 11.30, Peeta comes to Katniss again. “Want something to drink?”

"Oh no, I don’t have enough…"

"It is from the house," Peeta smiles. "From me."

She smiles, for the first time in a few weeks. “Thank you.”

—-

Katniss doesn’t know if it is because of Peeta or because of the good coffee and donuts, but every morning she goes to the bakery. She insists every time to pay, but Peeta refuses every time. “From the house,” he says then. Sometimes they have small talk. She told him for example why she is in Panem and that she has trouble with her parents. They gave eachother their phonenumbers. And sometimes they just look at each other and don’t say a word.

Katniss spends her days by going to the bakery, walking, watching the sea and avoiding her father. Though, the last thing is hard.

It is because her father really tries to be nice to her. He makes her favourite dinner every night, he placed flowers in his house (Primroses and Catnip) and he even bought her a new pair of earphones, because her other ones broke. And he hasn’t sung after Katniss shouted at him. 

And this night, now Prim is sleeping, he places a blanket over his radio. And that is when Katniss talks to him in a different tone for the first time.

"You don’t have to do that, Dad," she says.

"I have to. I want you to feel welcome. I want you to be happy and to know that I love you." 

Katniss sighs. “I know that, Dad, it is just…”

"I know it Katniss. It is hard to forgive. We look a lot like each other."

"We do?" Katniss asks.

Her father smiles. “Yeah. You are my dear Katniss. I love you, Catnip.”

And then, Katniss does something she did for the last time when she was 10. She hugs someone.

And not just someone. But her father.

"I’m so sorry dad," she whispers and tears are in her eyes. "I treated you like shit. I treat everyone like shit."

"No you don’t Katniss. You are just having a hard time." He has tears in his eyes too.

"I believe you," he says. 

Katniss’ eyes widen. “You…”

"Your mother told me that you were arrested, because there were drugs in your bag. But I couldn’t believe it. You are a good girl." 

Katniss laughs softly. “I am a rebel, mum said.”

"Maybe. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have a good heart." Her father laughs. "Well, let me see your tattoo."

Katniss shows her under-arm, the small arrow.

Her father raises an eyebrow. “Is that why your mum freaked out?”

"Yeah. A small arrow."

He smiles. “You can shoot with a bow and arrow?” When Katniss nodds, he says: “I did that too.” 

And that night, for the first time in since she is in Panem (just 2 weeks), she can sleep well. Without nightmares.

—-

The next morning after the night she talked with her dad, she goes to the bakery again. Peeta is standing behind the counter and smiles at her. 

"Hi Katniss. You look happy today," he smiles.

"Yes. I talked with my dad. I guess things are a better now. Not totally, but yeah… We talked."

"I am so happy to hear that!" Peeta smiles while he gives her her cappuchino (her daily order). 

"You know," he says. "I am going to surf this afternoom. Do you want to come with me?"

"I can’t surf," Katniss says.

"I am able to teach you," he laughs and he gives her a cheeky wink. "Come to the beach at 13:00. Be sure to wear your swimwear."

"Fine," Katniss laughs and drinks a bit of her coffee.

—-

At 11 o’clock, Katniss decides to walk to her father’s house, instead of the beach. When she approach the house, she sees her father and Prim working in the garden.

"What are you two doing?" Katniss asks.

"We are planting flowers," Prim says enthusiastic. "The garden will be beautiful." 

"I’m sure it will, little duck," Katniss smiles.

"Had a nice breakfast?" her father asks.

"Yeah."

"Where?"

"Panem Pastries." 

"Oh that is a damn good bakery. So Kat, what are you going to do today?"

He is trying so hard to be a good father. It is almost hard to stay angry.

"Surf."

"Surf?"

"Yeah."

"I guess you don’t want to talk about it. Ehm Katniss? Can you be a home at dinner time?"

Dinner. For the first time with her father in 6 years.

"I’ll try," she says and walks inside.

—-

After lunch with her dad and Prim (Prim looked so happy when she had finally lunch with everyone together), Katniss changed her clothes (a bikini and an oversized shirt - she puts a short in a bag) and walks to the beach. 

It is a bit crowded at the beach, because it is a very sunny day. But Peeta already saw her.

"Katniss!" he smiles. "Glad you came."

"Of course," she says. "I really want to learn how to surf." 

Peeta laughs. “Well, let’s go then.”

He is wearing swim shorts and  he has his board under his arm. “The waves are great today. I guess Finnick and Thresh and Cato and the others will come tonight.”

"Who are these guys?" Katniss asks.

"Surfers," Peeta explains. "But now they are doing their job. I asked permission for a free afternoom today." 

Katniss feels a bit guilty when she thinks of  what she said to Peeta when she walked into the bakery for the first time. She wants to apologize, but she can’t.

"Come on!" he laughs and runs to the sea. "Can you run?"

"Of course!" Katniss takes her tshirt off, so she is wearing only her bikini, and she laughs and starts running to him. She is a fast runner. Gale always said that to her.

"You’re a fast one," Peeta laughs. "So, let’s get started. Make a pirouette."

"What?"

"Come on, trust me. Make a pirouette."

Katniss does what he asks and makes pirouette with one foot at the ground.

"Okay, your right foot. Your right food is the one which is at the front of the board. Mine too." 

"Great," Katniss says.

"Now, we are going to exercise how to stand up. Let me show you."

Peeta lies down at his board, pushes himself up and moves his right foot. Then he stands.

"Wait, whaaat," Katniss asks.

"I’ll help you," Peeta says and Katniss lies on the board.

"You place your hands at the same height where your breasts are," Peeta says and Katniss does what he says. 

"Now, push yourself up and move your right foot like I did. Yes, like that. That’s it!" Peeta says when Katniss stands.

"But my feet are so far away from eachother!"

"Yeah, that is good."

"Okay." 

"Now we go into the water and I’ll show you how to paddle. It is a bit like breast crawl." Peeta shows a little bit of how he paddles. 

"Ohhh," Katniss says and she tries it too.

"Great," Peeta smiles. "Now we are going to catch a wave."

He takes the board and paddles, paddles, paddles and then by the wave he stands up and there he goes. It looks wonderful. 

"That was a great wave!" Peeta shouts enthusiastic and Katniss laughs. Peeta swims at her and gives her the board. "Now your turn."

"When do I stand up?" 

"When you feel your board is a bit lifting." 

"Okay! I can do it."

Peeta laughs. “I’m sure.” 

Katniss paddles and paddles, and Peeta swims along with her. There is a wave. Katniss tries to stand up, but she can’t control the board and she falls into the water. Peeta swims to her.

"Are you allright?" he asks concerned and he takes her into his arms and wipes her hair away from her face.

"Yeah… Wow, that was scary," Katniss laughs. 

"Are you sure you are allright?" Peeta asks, still concerned.

"Yes," Katniss says and wipes Peeta’s hair away from his face. He smiles and leans to her, pulls her closer. And he kisses her.

It is Katniss first real kiss. Of course she has kissed a few boys but that was because of trying and be a rebel to her mother. This one is the first one where she feels something. Butterflies in her stomach, flying everywhere. Giving her a warm, happy feeling.

So she kisses him back and wraps her arms around his neck. 

His blue eyes sprankle  and she smiles at him. 

"Hi," he whispers.

"Hey," she whispers back and he kisses her again. 

"Get a room!" a boy shouts and Peeta just smiles at Katniss and a bonfire is burning inside her. She didn’t know this feeling exist. 

"Let’s go back to the beach," he whispers. She nodds and Peeta takes the board and they swim to the beach. 

"Want some ice cream? My treat," Peeta says. "I know a place with damn good ice cream. But we have to walk to my car then and drive to it."

"Okay," Katniss smiles and she takes his hand and they walk to the parking places.

He looks at her arm. “You have a tattoo? Why an arrow?”

"I love hunting and archery," Katniss says. "Why do you have an arrow?"  

He raises his eyebrow. “How do you know…”

"Why," Katniss asks. "I am curious."

"Well em… I have a brother, Rye, who is 4 years older than me. But he had a lot of fights with my parents. So he moved out when he was 16. I haven’t seen him in 6 years. So, Finnick and I went out two years ago and Finnick wanted a tattoo of an anchor. I decided for an arrow, because the zodiac sign of Rye is a Sagetarius.  I wanted something small to remind me of my best friend and brother." 

"I’m sorry," Katniss says softly. 

"Don’t be. I’m thinking about visiting him. It is just… A bit scary, you know? I think he is also angry with me. I never stood up for him. I was young. I didn’t understand it."

She doesn’t know what to say. She wish she had a way with words. But words and talking were never Katniss talent.

"It is a wonderful tattoo," she says.

"We match," Peeta grins. 

They approach the car. It is a kind of a “truck”, an old one.

"Get in ma’am," Peeta says and he opens the door. 

Katniss laughs and gets in the car. Peeta puts his surfboard  and Katniss’ bag back in the car, and gets in. 

"Wait, let me grab a shirt," Peeta says and he grabs a black v-neck from somewhere in the car and put in on. Then he starts the car.

He is a very carefull driver. Katniss notices that he is carefull with everything: with driving, teaching and serving. Even surfing. 

Peeta drives to a cute icecream shop at the edge of Panem - still with a view at the beach. It is very quiet. Most people go to the ice shops near the beach. 

"Here is the best ice shop of Panem," Peeta smiles. "My friend Finnick works here." 

He gets out of the car and opens the door for Katniss.

"Oh wow, you are a real gentleman," Katniss laughs. 

"Ofcourse," Peeta laughs. "You’re a Mellark or not." 

Katniss laughs again, steps out the car and takes Peeta’s hand. 

"Heeeeeey Peeeetaaaa!" a boy calls when Katniss and Peeta walk into the shop. 

"And a beautiful young lady," he continued. 

"Finnick, this is Katniss. Katniss, this is Finnick," Peeta says. 

Finnick looks like a God from Greece with bronze hair and green eyes. Also tanned and muscled, like Peeta.

"Hi Katniss," Finnick says. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," Katniss says.

"So, Peet, you went surfing? Your hair is wet," Finnick says to Peeta.

"Yes, with Katniss."

"You are a surfer?" he asks Katniss. 

She shakes her head. “No, Peeta tried to teach me but I can’t.”

"Just more practising," Peeta smiles. "But Finn, two of the special ice cream please."

"Okay baker," Finnick laughs. "It will be ready in few minutes."

—-

"That was the best ice cream I’ve ever had!" Katnis smiles when they get in the car again.

"I told you," Peeta laughs and starts the car. 

"It is 17:00. Shall I bring you home?" 

Katniss doesn’t want to go home. But she remembered what she promised to her father.

"Yes. I said to my father I would try to have dinner with him and Prim."

Peeta smiles. “Then I’ll bring you home. Just tell me where you live.”

He starts the car and they drive. Katniss feels the fire of happiness again. A warm feeling which makes her smile the whole time. She had an amazing afternoom.

So, when they arrive at Katniss’ house, Katniss says something she want to say to him since the night she met him.

"Thank you," she whispers when Peeta stops the car. 

"I had a great time."

"Same," Peeta smiles. "You are a great girl Katniss. I like you and we had a great date."

"Was it a date?"

"For me it was," Peeta smiles.

"For me too," Katniss smiles back. 

She looks into his blue eyes, filled with joy and happiness.

When Peeta opens the door for Katniss, she gets out the car and kisses him one more time.

"See you tomorrow?" 

"See you tomorrow," Peeta says and he gets in his car and waves at her. Katniss waves back until she can’t see his car anymore. 

She smiles and goes inside her father’s house.

"You are here," her father smiles when she walks into the kitchen. "Did you have a good afternoom?"

"I had," Katniss smiles. 

"OOOOH Katniss is in love!" Prim sing-songs while she walks into the kitchen.

"Shut up," Katniss says.

"Girls. Dinner is ready," her father says and they all sit down around the table. Like a real family. 

—-

Katniss has a new way to spend her days. She has breakfast at home, in the afternoom she goes to Peeta, she has dinner at home (sometimes with Peeta in a restaurant) and at night she goes to the beach and watch Peeta surfing. Perfect routine. They kept on dating and once Peeta asked her to be his girlfriend and she told him hes,

She told her sister that she has a boyfriend and she was so excited that she told it to her father, who smiled and said that he was happy about it. 

What Katniss likes the most about her routine is the afternooms with Peeta. Sometimes they go swimming, sometimes they go walking, once they went shopping or once they watched a movie in the cinema when it rained. 

Today Peeta wanted Katniss to meet his parents and Katniss is pretty nervous about it. She is waiting at her bedroom when she sees Peeta in his car. 

"Good afternoom, Katniss," he says in a charming voice. 

"Hey," she says. "How do I look?"

"Beautiful," Peeta says and he kisses her cheek.

"No, but for your parents."

"Don’t worry about it," Peeta smiles. 

"Okay," Katniss says and tries to smile. Peeta opens the door, as he always does, and Katniss gets in the car. 

While they are driving, Katniss is still nervous. And Peeta sees it.

"You are still nervous, love," he says. "Wait, I’ll turn on the radio."

Beauty queen of only eighteen

She had some trouble with herself

He was always there to help her

She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles and wound up at your door

I’ve had you so many times but somehow I want more

Peeta smiles. “I love this song,” he says, and he starts to sing along.

I don’t mind spending every day

Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Look for the girl with the broken smile

Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

And she will be loved

And she will be loved

It sounds horrible and Katniss laughs. She thinks of singing. Peeta looks like he enjoys it. Maybe… Maybe she can…. Maybe she can try it. She loves this song too.

And she starts to sing.

Tap on my window, knock on my door

I want to make you feel beautiful

I know I tend to get so insecure

It doesn’t matter anymore

It’s not always rainbows and butterflies

It’s compromise that moves us along, yeah

My heart is full and my door’s always open

You come anytime you want, yeah.

I don’t mind spending every day

Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Look for the girl with the broken smile

Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

And she will be loved

And she will be loved

And she will be loved

And she will be loved

Peeta looks at her with suprise.

"That was so beautiful!" he smiles and starts to sing along again. 

I know where you hide alone in your car

Know all of the things that make you who you are

I know that goodbye means nothing at all

Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Katniss laughs and Peeta smiles back. 

Tap on my window knock on my door

I want to make you feel beautiful

I don’t mind spending every day

Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh.

Look for the girl with the broken smile

Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

And she will be loved

And she will be loved

And she will be loved

And she will be loved

Yeah, yeah.

I don’t mind spending every day

Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Please don’t try so hard to say goodbye

"Katniss, seriously, who thaught you to sing?" Peeta asks. "You have talent sweetheart!"

"My… My dad thaught me. I haven’t sing in six years. My father choose singing over us, so I was so angry that I promised myself to never sing ever again."

"Good thing you did not," Peeta smiles. "Your voice… It is beautiful. Like you. You are a beautyqueen of only seventeen."

"Shut up," Katniss laughs but she feels she turns red. She had sung. She had sung for the first time in six years. And it felt amazing. 

"Fuck!" Peeta says. "Mud!" 

"Hey hey, don’t use dirty words," Katniss laughs.

"Katniss, look outside. We can’t go further."

Katniss looks outside and sees what Peeta means. The way is full with mud.

He grumbles. “I’ll go outside and try to make a way.” 

"Do that."

He opens the door and jumps out of the car.

Katniss sees how he tries to make a way, but it doesn’t succeed. She has an evil little plan.

She doesn’t know how to drive a car, but she knows where the gas pedal is…

"KATNISS!" Peeta shouts and Katniss starts laughing loudly. Peeta laughs too and takes some mud and throws it at Katniss. 

"Oh no," she laughs and gets out her car and throws mud at Peeta. They look like little children. 

"I think the mud is a bit away," Peeta laughs after they had the mud fight.

"Yeah…" Katniss laughs. "Look at your face."

Peeta laughs and the mud is on the dimple in his cheek.

"My car," Peeta wines.

"We’ll clean it together," Katniss smiles and gives him a kiss on his cheek, the one who hasn’t mud. "But this isn’t a really cool meeting with your parents in this way."

"They aren’t probably at home at this time," Peeta winks at her. "Now, get in the car, ma’am." 

She does and Peeta does too. And they drive again.

—-

"Wow Peeta! You have not told me that you are RICH," Katniss says when Peeta drives to a big house. A mansion.

"My parents are rich," he says shortly.

"That is what all rich people say," Katniss says. 

"Does it matter?" Peeta asks.

"No but… Yeah…"

"Come," he smiles, gets out the car and opens her door. 

"Peeta Mellark. What…" A blonde woman says. 

"Hi mum," Peeta says. "This beautiful girl is my girlfriend Katniss."

"Ah," Peeta’s mother says. "You two need a shower before the high tea." 

"Yeah, probably," Peeta laughs and takes Katniss’ hand. "Come, to the garden hose."

—-

After they sprayed each other with the garden hose and were a bit more clean, Peeta gave Katniss some clean clothes of his mother and he changed clothes too. Then they went to the dinning room. It is a very chic dinning room, with a large table full of petite cakes and cups of tea. 

Peeta’s father is an older man, a year of 50 or so, with grey hair and the same blue eyes as Peeta. Peeta’s mother has red hair (probably dyed) and also blue eyes. She has a very small face. 

"Ah, there is the girl. Hello, my name is George," Peeta’s father says. "Nice to meet you."

"Katniss Everdeen," Katniss smiles. She feels Peeta’s mother looking at her clothes. "Nice to meet you too, mr. Mellark."

"Lily Mellark," Peeta’s mother says. 

"Nice to meet you, mrs. Mellark," Katniss smiles. 

"Oh call us George and Lily please," Peeta’s father says.

"All right George," Katniss says and Peeta lays his hand on her knee.

"Want some tea, dear?" Peeta asks.

"Yes," Katniss says. Oh she so nervous. And Peeta sees it and smiles at her. As if he would say: "it is gonna be okay."

"So, you have your high school graduation?" Lily asks.

"Yes, I have," Katniss says.

"And what do you want to do at college?"

College.

Something she doesn’t want. Or well, she can’t.

"I am not going to college. My sister wants to become a doctor, so I give her my college money to make her dream come true." 

"Well, that is really nice of you," Peeta smiles.

"What about your own dreams?" George asks.

"I… Don’t really know yet," Katniss says. Please another subject.

"My boy has the dream to study in New York for financies," Lily smiles. 

"New York is awesome, yeah," Peeta says.

"I am sure you will have the opportunity to find a job and a house there, love," his mother smiles at him. 

Katniss looks at Peeta in shock. And then in anger.

—-

"Katniss! Please come back!" 

Peeta starts running after Katniss, who runs to the huge garden of Peeta’s parents.

"Katniss!"

Katniss stops and turns angry to him. 

"I am not in your dream, am I?"

"What are you talking about?" Peeta asks.

"What am I talking about? Your dream. New York. I don’t fit there, do I?"

"Katniss…"

"Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me you are going to study in New York?"

"Because…"

"Go look for a beautiful blonde rich girl who fits in your dream! A dumb girl who doesn’t go to college doesn’t fit in your perfect dream!" Katniss shouts. 

"Katniss! Enough!" Peeta shouts back and he holds her shoulders.

"Stay away from me! And don’t ever come back!"

And Katniss runs away, leaving a shocked Peeta behind with tears in his eyes. 

—-

She is mad. So mad. How could he not tell her? 

She already pictures him in New York with his beautiful eyes and blonde curls and a pretty girl next to him.

She thinks back of all their happy afternooms together and gets even more angry. He will leave her alone. Just like her father did. Just like her friend Gale did after he found out about that she was arrested and he didn’t believe her. Just like everyone does.

And the worst part of all is that she actually thought he was different. She is dumb - maybe it is good she isn’t going to college because she is dumb. Dumb and stupid. If she were Peeta, she would have left already. 

Tears streams down her face while Katniss is walking home. 

"Goodmorning beautiful," Peeta says with a smile when Katniss enters the bakery.

"Hi Peeta," she smiles back and he walks to her and kisses her on her cheek. 

"I love you Katniss. And I’m so lucky to have you as a girlfriend."

Lies. It were all lies. Peeta is going to leave her, just like everyone else. 

"What a beautiful night," Peeta whispers into Katniss’ ear. They are together at the beach, watching the stars. The stars are shining and so does Peeta’s eyes. Katniss smiles and kisses him on his forehead. 

"I love you."

"I love you too, Kat."

She takes his hand and Peeta pulls her closer, so her head is on his heart. 

"Stay with me," she whispers to him.

"Always," he whispers back.

Always. Liar. 

"LIAR!" she screams to the trees on the sides of the road. "I HATE YOU! I DON’T NEED YOU!"

It is starting to get dark and Katniss keeps on walking. She is almost home. Almost at her fathers place, at the place from the person who also left her.

She sees the little white house of her father and lights are burning. Through the window she sees Prim laughing with her father.

They don’t need me. No one does. Everyone leaves me. 

She doesn’t want to go to her father. Or her mother. Or Peeta.

She walks to the beach. The surfers aren’t there anymore. Peeta said there won’t be enough waves this evening.

Peeta. Liar. 

How could he! How could he… 

She feels the tears streaming down her face again. She can’t take it anymore to be alone. She always thought she was strong but she can’t handle it anymore. She isn’t as strong as she think she is. She hates herself.

Katniss sits down and watches the calm ocean for a while. This gives her rest. Like the woods always gave her rest, does the sea now. 

She is so focussed on the ocean, she doesn’t hear that a car stopped at a parking place and Peeta walks to her. 

"Katniss…" his soft, sweet voice says behind her. Katniss turns to him. Great. There he is and he can see her cry.

"Go away. To New York or something."

"Katniss…"

"I told you to never come back. Leave me alone." She tries to hold herself and not to cry.

"I can’t." 

Too late. The tears come in her eyes again. She looks at him and sees that he has also tears in his eyes. He stands in front of her.

"Katniss, I could never, ever leave you. I love you." 

She looks away. “Don’t lie,” she whispers.

"I don’t lie. Why would I lie to someone I love?" He is quiet for a while. "Katniss you make me so happy. And when I go to college… That doesn’t mean I’ll leave you…"

"Everyone does!" Katniss shouts suddenly. "My parents, Gale, you! I am too stupid to be with! Everyone leaves me and I am so tired of it so don’t lie to me and say that you are not leaving. Don’t lie to me. Like you did that night on the beach." 

"Katniss, I won’t leave you. Yes I will go to college, but that doesn’t mean I will leave you. You’re my girlfriend Katniss. I need you." 

She looks to the ground. Peeta sits down next to her and lifts her chin up a bit. “Katniss, please look at me…”

"I hate myself," she sobs softly. "I hate myself."

"You have no reason to hate yourself, you are amazing Katniss," Peeta says to her and he wraps his arms around her. "You are so amazing Katniss and you don’t even know," he whispers and he strokes her hair. 

"I am mean to everyone and you were so kind to me and my father did too and I am so mean to everyone and…"

"Shhh," Peeta whispers. "I love you. I really, really love you. And I am so sorry." 

"My father left me, Gale left me, I am not a good daughter and a good girlfriend…"

"Katniss please stop. You are wonderful. Remember the song we sang in the car today?" 

She nodds. 

"You will be loved Katniss. My heart and door are always open for you. I love you so much and I will never ever ever leave you. I promise."

Katniss is quiet for a while and looks into his blue eyes. And at the arrow at his hip. 

"Stay with me?" she whispers softly.

"Always," Peeta says and then her lips reaches his.

—-

Katniss talked to her parents, an idea of Peeta - a good conversation after all these years. It is was emotional but worth it because after the conversation she understood her parents more and they understood her more. Katniss promised her father to read his letters and that one afternoom, when she was ready, they would sing together and her mother said that she actually liked the tattoo and believed her. And when the summer was over, she had one last afternoom with Peeta. They went to the mansion of his parents and he showed her the garden and they took a swim in the lake. They kissed. They made love in a small gardenhouse near the lake. And when she said goodbye to Peeta at the airport, she knew he wouldn’t leave her. She would come over to him in a few weeks. They would call everyday. They would make it. 

So after, when Katniss was back home hunting in the woods and saw the message of Peeta on her phone:

I love you, beautiful. Together?

She responded:

Together.

—-

Christmas and New Years themed Song Fic/ Fanart starts today!!!! You have till the End of the year to complete. Please mark if its for New Years or Christmas.

Thank you to all the people who have submitted their works to us over the last 5+ months

But it seem as everlarksongfics is coming to its end. No one has any interest in it and its lacking in people to run it. We are sad that this is the case but we are unsure what to do.

When we started this blog back in May we thought it would be popular. We had seen so many fics with songs as inspiration. But now? It seems that this is not the case. :(

Do you want as to continue or not?

She still breathes

This fic is inspired in “Corpse Bride” the Tim Burton movie, I took some of the picture dialogues, mainly the songs,I hope you like it.

  Thanks to Jgllove11, my favorite cheerleader and friend for her help with this chapter.

And extra special thanks to titania522 for her super effort to helping me edit this,  late at night when she is so busy, you are amazing.

She still breaths

Listen to me, those of you who still have an ear:

  Class, lineage, wealth and keeping up appearances are essential, those are the qualities that will make you honorable!

  That’s what mother Mellark was always saying to her sons. She repeated it like a mantra.

  The woman didn’t understand the concept of honor quite well. All that mattered to her was that they were “The Mellarks”.

  They lived in a small, miner town founded by their ancestors, called “The Village.”

  The Mellark’s were raised to be respectable under the strictest standards. They needed to be  discreet, also figure in the highest social circles and never be seen with someone of a lower class.

Like any respectable mother, Mrs. Mellark was responsible for the proper education of her children. The methods Mrs. Mellark used to educate them weren’t really important, although they were of the most exotic variety, Mrs. Mellark’s discipline techniques usually involved “accessories”, the most cherished being a rolling pin. When she was feeling creative the children would be locked in the scariest places anyone could think of…

  The Mellarks also owned The Village bakery. It was as old as town was, and was the source of the family’s exuberant lifestyle for decades, especially when The Village was on the cusp of growth, having wealth was an easy commodity.

  Until the explosion.

  One fatal day the mine, along with many hard working men and women, were blown to bits and pieces.

Most of the miners died, others were injured. Wives turned into widows, children became fatherless and what once was prosperous became a miserable  wasteland. What once was lively, shiny and full of flowers became dark, empty and silent.

  There was no money anymore to buy bread, cakes or pastries; who could afford it on such precarious times?  

  Good People emigrated to other towns, seeking prosperity. Thieves and cheats came to town offering successful businesses with low investment, running away with the invested money, stolen from those hopeful people. The Mellark’s wealth had come to an end, and the bakery would have to close its doors.

  Mrs. Mellark, being the matriarch, had to take measures on the matter. She couldn’t let this happen. What would happen to her good name? There was only one way out.

  Lineage, classes and all that old saying would stop being of importance.

  Mellarks would be disgraced. Their hair won’t be golden as the sun, and their eyes would never be as blue as the ocean again. They will be shamefully mixed in with people of olive skin, coal-colored hair, and silvery eyes.

  Not many young people lived in The Village anymore, and even less so, young, single women.

  One of the three Mellark boys should marry someone capable of providing honor to their family again, a quality Mrs. Mellark would never give up.

  There was no other woman capable of providing the honor the Mellarks deserved but Miss Katniss Everdeen. And by honor, Mrs. Mellark means money.

  She quickly forgot that she used to consider families such as the Everdeen’s trash, especially after the death of John Everdeen in the mine explosion. Mary, his widow found her mind and heart unable to cope with the loss. Her two young daughters were abandoned in life as Mary lay in bed in a mental hospital very close to death.

  They were such good daughters, dedicated to the care of their family, each according to their strengths as they were opposite like water and oil. One, the youngest, blue-eyed and blond with an easy smile always adorning her childish face, was kind and loving like the spring over the meadow. Her name was Primrose and she was in charge of taking care of her mother and the house they lived in.

  The oldest one, Katniss, fierce like a living fire, determined, strong, and brave as a warrior. She had graphite eyes, long, dark hair with a permanent scowl framing her features. With her in charge they would never want for anything, they would always food on the table.

  They went through difficult times, but Katniss knew how to flip the tables. She found a way to support her family and leave rough times behind.

  At first, Katniss tried selling all of their belongings. That didn’t work out as well as she would have liked. So then she started digging in  the trash, trying to find food she could take to her starving little sister. No one would extend a hand to her. Except for him.

  He gave her bread when she needed it the most. Bread gave her strength, and strength helped her walk to the forest again. And during a walk through the forest, the solution came to her mind.

She was watching her friend, Gale Hawthorne, set some traps when she remembered her father with a bow. She must have been ten years old when he tried to teach her how to use it, but her focus was on the frogs jumping on the pond at the time. She was just a child, but she had grown a lot since those days.

  Katniss took her father’s bow from the one box she never dared to sell, the box of her father belongings and she started practicing every day. Every. Single. Day.

  Katniss discovered she was a natural. Soon she was hitting one animal after another, right through the eye and when she realized that three woman couldn’t possibly eat that much meat, she decided to trade in town, the remaining people with any money left to purchase meat quickly snatching it up.

  She started a business, a successful one, and money seemed to multiply in her hands. It was too bad money couldn’t buy happiness.

  The people running the town didn’t particularly approve of the young maiden, in such uncertain times being responsible for an even younger girl and her mentally unstable mother.

  They threatened to take her sister Prim away, put her with a real family they said, a proper one, with a man that holds the reins.

  Of course Mrs. Mellark was part of the committee of people running The Village. The awful woman would lock all the doors until Katniss had no way out but to marry one of her sons.

  But Katniss was no fool.

  She waited long enough to agree.

  If she was going to be forced to marry, it would be on her own terms.

  She wanted him.

  Katniss waited until Mrs. Mellark oldest son announced his engagement, an engagement no mother could refuse, with the Mayor’s  daughter no less, Madge Undersee.

  Then she waited for the middle son, one crazy in the head boy that knocked up another crazy in the head girl, Delly Cartwright, the shoe maker’s daughter.

  There was only him left. And finally, Katniss said yes.

  Mrs. Mellark youngest, Peeta, had to pinch his arms several times to make sure he wasn’t dreaming when he heard the news.

  He used to watch Katniss when they were kids, always from afar, ever since the first day of school, he’ll never forget that she sang the Valley song, and she did it like the very angels in the sky. Even the bird’s stop to listen. He knew at that moment that he would always be tied in one way or another to that magical girl, but he couldn’t have guessed that he would end up married to her. Did he dream  about it? Yes, countless times, but he never guessed it would actually happen.

  He was too shy for his own good.

  They had never spoken; long looks, shy smiles, but never an actual conversation.

  Their only interaction was a long time ago when he tossed her two pieces of bread; she was starving, right after her father died. He couldn’t take watching her getting skinnier every day. His mother made him pay dearly for the offense, hitting his face with a roller pin. Next day he was so ashamed about being a coward and tossing her the bread instead of approaching and putting it in her hands that he never dared to speak to her.

  Katniss was so mad and embarrassed when she saw the purple angry mark on his handsome face that she never dared to thank him.

  Anyway, Mrs. Mellark wasn’t pleased did the pertinent arrangements for the marriage, crying the whole time.

The couple didn’t meet until the wedding rehearsal.  It wasn’t important before, his mother said, “This isn’t a marriage out of love Peeta, not that those even exists, this is a business and I hope you worthless boy don’t ruin it for us.”

  “I will try my best mother,” he put the surliestface he was able to muster, because if his mother find out about how static he was of Miss Everdeen agreement, she might actuallly stop the wedding just to see him unhappy again.

  On the rehearsal day, Peeta put special care into  his appearance. He was so excited, he had dreamed about this so many nights, afternoons and some mornings too. He never thought it could become real one day.

  His hands were shook uncontrollably, and the weakness in his knees make him think they were made of jelly. He was going to see her; hell, he was going to marry Katniss Everdeen. Live in the same house, eat at the same table, and sleep in the same bed…God! It was too much for him to think about. His excitement was reaching all parts of his body and it was making him even more nervous.

  He needed to calm down, but how?

  Peeta took one of his uncle Haymitch flasks; the old man was always saying how relaxing he found them so he thought that must work out, right?

  Peeta took a sip. The sip burned down his throat; he wondered how Haymitch could drink this every single day, every single night, and some mornings too. But that didn’t stop him from taking another sip.

  When they arrived to the Everdeen house for the rehearsal, Mary and Prim received them. The first one reminded Peeta a ghost, a skinny and sad shadow of the woman she used to be. Prim was and enthusiastic little girl and hugged him in excitement.

  “My god” Mrs. Mellark complained loudly “You shouldn’t be hugging a grown up man sweetheart, aren’t you educated at all?” She made sweet little Prim cheeks turn crimson.

  “Sorry ma’am.” said Prim.  But the woman just huffed.

  “It’s okay, don’t worry about it,” Peeta tried to comfort her with a warm smile. But he still felt guilty about Prim’s discomfort so he took another sip.

  They were all gathered in the hall under the stairs of Katniss’ mansion, candles and white beautiful flowers everywhere, a table where Peeta guessed the judge would be, and chairs for the guests they will have, they weren’t many, basically Katniss and Peeta families, the Major family and Gale Hawthorne. Peeta didn’t understand what the lonely man was doing there, yes, he and Mss. Everdeen were close but he always was under the impression that Mr. Hawthorne was interested in her. He couldn’t be sure as he was a very private and strange man.

  Each of his thoughts went blank when the bride was announced and the nuptial march started, Peeta just had to take another sip because his teeth were bumping against each other in the purest form of anxiety. Then, he spotted his future wife over the stairs.

  Oh God, he knew in that very moment that no amount of sips with help to compose himself, although he decided to take yet another.

  The most beautiful view on earth, her white silhouette, dark hair and olive skin walking down the stairs. It was from another world. His skin erupted in goose bumps; and he couldn’t look away, it was such an impossible task.

  That was until Katniss grey eyes looked straight into Peeta’s blue ones. His shyness obliged his eyes to react. Peeta’s heart was beating so fast that he thought he was having a coronary, the air on the room was thick and he had to look away, he had to take another sip…

But that sip came just too late.

  He started to feel dizzy, remembering he hadn’t eaten  all day because his nerves threaten to turn his stomach upside down. Katniss saw him taking the sip to the flask; she saw the disgusting face he did after that, her heart twisted in pain, her eyes started to burn. She thought he didn’t want to be there. They haven’t even met before, she wasn’t expecting love, she was a reasonable woman and they didn’t really know each other. But thinking she disgusted him was just too much.

  Pain became anger and she lifted her chin, just like her designer Cinna always told her. Her eyes full of fire glared straight to Peeta Mellark all the way down the stairs.

  Then, Judge Snow asked the groom to come closer to say his wedding vows.

  Peeta was tongue tied, just like he always was around Mss. Everdeen.

  Judge Snow tried to help Peeta reminding him what he needed to say “With this candle I will light your way in darkness, with this ring I ask you to be mine…let’s try again.”

  “Yes, yes sir.” Peeta answer and more firmly began again “With this candle…” he had to light the candle in that moment but he was feeling dizzy and clumsy, people were starting to feel exasperate until he finally succeeded it. Now, he needed to start talking again but in his nervous state he exhaled and his breath blew off the candle.

  “Damn!” Someone on the back exclaimed. Peeta was sure his uncle Haymitch was the one who did it.

  “Continue,” Judge Snow dictated “Let’s try it again, shall we.”

  “With this… this.” Peeta stuttered.

  “Haaand” Snow cut in to help   finish the sentence for him in frankly exasperation, that made Peeta nervous, if that was even possible.

  He took a deep breath and Katniss hand as the tradition dictated but at the touch of her he couldn’t remember his own name, the fluttering on his belly made him stumble “Young man, do you not wish to be married?” Judge Snow inquired.

  “No!” Peeta shouted fast.

  “You don’t?” Katniss asked him dismayed, the vulnerability in her normally strong façade made Peeta stutter again.

  “No, no…I mean no, I do not no not wish to be married, that is I want very much…ouch!” he yelled at a sudden pain on his head. Judge Snow had just hit him with his cane.

  “Pay attention! Have you even remembered to bring the ring?” The judge inquired.

  “Yes!” Peeta exclaimed taking the ring out from his jacket but when he tried to show it to the judge, the ring fell from his trembling fingers.

  “Dropping the ring…this boy doesn’t want to get married!” Snow yelled, veins popping on his wrinkled forehead.

  Peeta was on his hands and knees trying without success to catch the ring that was rolling on the floor, he finally grab it yelling with satisfaction “Have it!” showing the golden hoop between his fingers, he had not  noticed, that in his frantic carrier, and his tipsy state, he let the candle fell over his mother dress. The woman skirt dress was on fire.

  The rehearsal became pandemonium. Peeta’s father stepped on Mrs. Mellark dress again and again trying to turn it off, the woman hitting Mr. Mellark over the head “Enough!” Judge snow yelled “This wedding cannot take place until is properly prepared…young man, and I’m not a patient man!” the old man was pointing with his cane to Peeta’s chest, and in the most menacing voice Peeta have ever listen, he ordered “Learn your vows!”

  Angry looks from everyone invited were directed at Peeta, but what really, truly frightened him was the sad look on Mss. Everdeen eyes, the hurt she was trying to hide with her straight posture and her upwarded chin…although the uncontained tear rolling down her cheek was saying otherwise, that was Peeta’s undoing. He let his shoulders drop and left the room.

  He already had failed the woman of his dreams and they weren’t even married yet.

  Everyone was annoyed at Peeta s so he decided to leave and let everyone calm down; maybe cool air of the night and some time alone will help him.

  Katniss felt her eyes burn with unshed tears but she was stubborn and strong, she’ll be damn if she will let it show her hurt. She always knew this was a business arrangement for the Mellarks but at the back of her mind she was hoping those lingering looks Peeta was always directing at her meant something more.

  Peeta was closing the door behind him when he heard Mr. Hawthorne ironic comment “Well he is quite the catch!” Peeta let his shoulders fall in complete defeat. He didn’t see Mss. Everdeen hard slap over Mr. Hawthorne cheek. Peeta much less listened the way his fiancé defended him against the presumptuous man.

  Mr. Hawthorne wasn’t a petty person, he was bitter having to take care of his mother, two  brothers and his little sister, his life wasn’t the way it supposed to be, he had too many responsibilities and on top of that he felt protective of the Everdeens too, being a single woman in a town like “The Village”, he and Katniss had been friends and hunting partners for so many years. The Mellarks weren’t trustworthy to him, not one bit. What chance did Peeta have to be a good man with a mother like that?

  After a long walk, Peeta decided to practice his vows again, he picked a dark place surrounded by leafless trees “Miss. Everdeen, you look lovely today,” the ring on his hand at first, then he placed the ring on a tree branch, pretending it was Katniss delicate hand.

  “…with this hand, I will take your… no.”

  He tried again “With this… with this I would…I will set my mother on fire.” Shaking his head the shamefully memory. He definitely would pay for that one.

  Taking the ring between his index and thumb and started all over again, he stood up straight, pictured Katniss in front of him and nobody else in the room, he took then a deep breath “With this hand I lift your sorrows, your cup will never empty for I will be your wine…Oh miss Everdeen you look ravishing this evening…” He bowed in reverence to the trunk by an oak tree “What’s that Miss Everdeen?” He kept the charade “with this candle I will light your way in darkness…” Peeta rose the ring again “with this ring, I ask you to be mine…” He leaned and placed the ring in another tree branch that was lying on the floor.

  A cold strong wind run through the forest and he stopped his every movement.

  The tree branch started to move, he tried to see if the air had caused the motion, the earth was shaking…suddenly, the tree branch grab Peeta’s wrist hard and pull him to the floor roughly.

  He was in shock, crows flew at the same time all over the forest, meanwhile Peeta was trying with all his might to get rid of whatever was pushing him into the earth; he saw in complete terror that what he originally thought  was a branch it was really an skeletal hand coming out of the floor!

Peeta pulled and pulled, using all the strength he was capable of until the grip ceded. He fell backwards wincing at the sudden pain on his backside, but he was finally free.

Dread invaded his senses when he noticed an arm with it’s respective hand still gripping his wrist, he shook his own arm, hard, until the arm flew behind him.

  There wasn’t enough air in the planet to fill his lungs. He was panting wildly. The ground began quartering, making a hole in the floor…something started to come out from there….Peeta was paralyzed, in agonizing terror. A head started to come out from the earth.

  He wanted to run but his legs weren’t responding, he was still lying on his ass.

  Short picky hair covered by a veil. He looked at the creepy image from toe to head then, torn, old and broken dress, that was arguably once white,  a bonny leg poking out of one of the rips of the cloth, the dress was fitted, presumably strapless shape, showed a pronounced cleavage from what Peeta can guess were one large breast and a tiny waist. Nonetheless, he couldn’t imagine something scarier than this.

  It was a bride.

  A corpse bride.

  She slipped the veil of her face with her skeletal fingers, showing an enormous pair of brown eyes and short, spiky hair. She looked straight to him, and whispered in a hollow, spooky voice “I do.”

  Peeta couldn’t stop the scream to come out from his mouth, he was there still frozen over the forest floor.

  A smirk formed on the bride’s face.

  He was finally able to stand up and was about to run too but then he remembered that on the corpse finger was still Katniss ring, Peeta couldn’t run without the ring, he had pick it with so much carel, thinking she would like something simple and beautiful and without equal, just like her. The simple pearl over the golden ring was just perfect for Katniss; he had to get it back.

  The woman walked to him “I’m so glad I found you, my husband,” she grabbed him by the waist with one hand and with the other hold the back of his neck and kissed him, hard in the mouth, Peeta opened his mouth to stop her, tell her it was a mistake, that he wasn’t his husband and that she must stop but she took it like an invitation and claimed his mouth with her icy, unnatural tongue.

  The impression was too much, as long with the white liquor and his lack of food, Peeta started to feel dizzy again and he blacked out on the corpses arms.

  He was in an unknown place when he woke up.

  People whose skins fell from their bodies were staring at him; bones showed between ragged clothes, he felt like he is being hijacked. Peeta demanded to know where he was.

  “In the land of the death.” A spirit answered. “You’re married now, congratulations.”

  “Are you a ghost?” the spirit nodded.

  Is the bride a ghost too? What happened to her?” Peeta stammered.

  “I will tell you the story of the lovely corpse bride.” The ghost continued in that strange language old spirits must have “Our girl was a beauty known from miles around, when a mysterious stranger came into town. He was very good looking but down on his cash and our poor little baby she fell hard and fast. When her daddy said no, she just couldn’t cope so our lovers came up with a plan to elope. They arranged to meet late at night, they told not a soul and kept the whole thing tight. Now her mother’s wedding dress fit like a glove. You don’t need much when you’re really in love, except for a few things or so I’m told, like the family jewels and a satchel of gold! She was ready to go…but where was he?”

  “And then?” Peeta asked.

  “She waited…and waited. Now, There in the shadows was it the man? Her little heart beat so loud, everything went black, when she opened her eyes she was dead as dust and she made a vow to  under that tree and wait for her true love to come set her free. Always waiting for someone to ask for her hand and that’s the story of our corpse bride.”

  “God! She was killed? By her groom? She thinks I’m him?” The ghost nodded.

  Peeta panics, he wanted to get back to the Village. Desperately.

  “I’m not her husband” manically started to argue until he decided to run. He ran and ran trying to get out of the unknown land until a hand stopped him dead on his tracks “Where are you going handsome?”

  “Look I’m terribly sorry about what happened to you and I’d like to help but I need to get home.”

  “This is your home now.” The bride said running a hand through her body, seductively, or at least, that was what she thought, next, she encircled her arms around Peeta’s neck and started to give him icy kisses over his pulse point.

  He moved away from her placing his hands over her shoulders “But I don’t even know your name.”

  “Johanna.”  She thought what a creepy way to start a marriage but she quickly shook her head to get rid of the unpleasant thought “Oh! Wait I have a present for you” she took a box and placed it into his lap, then she whispered “It’s a wedding gift.”

  He opened the box and saw with horror that it was full of bones, frightened. He threw it all away. Bones started moving on the floor. They placed themselves together like pieces of a 4D puzzle; at the end they were the spooky skeleton of a cat. The cat started to purr and rub against Peeta’s legs. Deciding it was inoffensive, he named his new pet Buttercup “This is  great, I always wanted a pet, my mother would have never approve one. But then again she never approve of anything,” he assert with a bitter voice.

  “Would she approve of me?” She asked placing her hand over Peeta’s knee and start moving her fingers up, up, up. Peeta stopped her anxiously, placing his hand on top of hers.

  An idea came to his mind “Actually, I think you should definitely meet her, and my father too, we should go and see them right now.”

  “What a fantastic idea, but it has to be right now? We haven’t enjoyed our wedding night yet.” She said pouting. Peeta felt the chills at the very scene he pictured in his head and shook his head. He stood up fast and was as far away from her as he could be at the moment.

  “Um, later, I want you to meet my parents.” The bride nodded and leaned in closer, her intentions of kissing him clear as water. He jumped back “Let’s go. Show me the way.” And they started walking over the shadowy path.

As soon as Peeta could recognize the Village’s familiar forest, his mind began to think of ways to distract her.

  “Um, honey,” he called Johanna in a overly-sweetened voice, flinching at his term of endearment “I have a wedding present for you too,” the bride’s eyes light up in excitement and lust, the young man trembled just by thinking about what she obviously was imagining her wedding present was. He signaled a tree trunk lying horizontally over the floor “Sit over there, and close your eyes. No peeking.”

  He took advantage of the distraction and started running all the way to the Everdeen mansion, literally, as if he had seen a ghost.

  Without breath, he knocked at the door with insistency. Katniss opened the door wearing her nightgown, surprised to see him there, in the state he was in “Peeta?”

  Not able to repress himself, he took her into his arms in a strong comforting hug, he’d been through too much lately that he couldn’t help it, what surprised him the most was that she didn’t  rejected him, instead she closed the door behind them. She was happy to see him back; relief invaded her tormented soul at the sight of her fiancé.

  “What’s going on, I thought you ran away.”

  He didn’t have white liquor now, but the recent events and the terror he is being through help him overcome his shyness “I’m here now. I’m sorry.” He was talking to her for the first time!

  “I thought you didn’t want to marry me.”

  “How can you possibly think that when I’ve been in love with you for all of my life?” He answer surprised that she can think that way when he so obviously looked at her as if she was the moon.

  Katniss shy smile and crimson cheeks were his undoing. He took her face with his two strong hands pressing his forehead to hers “Are you blind? Don’t you see the effect you have on me?”

  “You never talked to me before, why are you doing it now?”

  “Maybe because I thought I was going to lose you when finally I was so close to having you.”

  She exhaled and leaned so her lips touched his softly, he deepened the kiss instantly at the touch, unable to restrain himself. Katniss pull him closer to her, circling his waist with her arms and he couldn’t help his sigh. Peeta just couldn’t believe it, his tongue traced her lips and her hands roamed through his body. They really wanted to keep that moment and live in it forever but that damned need to breathe was making it impossible.

  “You feel the same way I do. Real or not real?” Peeta asked her breathless.

  “Real, I want so much to be your wife.” He kissed her then, roughly, pouring all the passion he felt for her and all the overwhelming emotions of the previous days, their hands pulling each impossibly closer  to the other, she found herself melting into him,  she never thought she could feel that way.she started to lead him to her bedroom without stopping their embrace.

  A strong noise startled the couple, Johanna was running toward Katniss with an axe in her hand, Peeta placed himself between the two of them, stopping the bride’s attach.

  “You left me!” She accused pointing a finger at him, throwing the axe away. Peeta exhaled with relief.

  “You wouldn’t let me explain.”

  “What do you have to explain? You are my husband.”

  “Are you married?” Katniss asks dismayed, astonishment written all over her beautiful face.

  “Katniss, Please let me explain.”

  “Come on Blondie, you’ll have time to explain later. I’ve waited for centuries, we need to consummate our union. Let’s go I need you.” She started to pull the zipper of the dress down, wearing nothing underneath but a pair of well sized breasts. Katniss felt her face burn in humiliation, nudity had always made her uncomfortable, but when she found him, forehead damp with sweat, looking straight to the weird woman breasts, or as she said, her wife, jealousy began to creep inside the grey-eyed woman’s heart.

  Peeta turned, trying to explain the situation again but she pinched her hands into fists, red in the face, and not wanting to hear none of that. “Go. Be with your wife.”

  His heart broke into pieces at her hurtful expression “She is not…”

  Jo interrupted kissing him hard, her unnatural force keeping him in place.

  Katniss went to him and slapped his cheek “Gale was right, you’re quite the catch!” And she stormed out demanding that he and his wife leave her home immediately. Peeta was devastated.

  “Why are you here with this brainless plain woman? Let me take you to bed show you what I can do to make you feel good. That would cheer you up.” The ghost purred taking Peeta’s hand in hers, trying to take him out of the house.

  “I’m not coming with you.”

  “Are you leaving me for her?” Fury radiating from her eyes.

  “I love her.” He said looking straight to Katniss scared eyes. She was looking from one to another with a look of pure astonishment.

  “Nonsense, that brainless little creature isn’t wearing your ring.”

  “She is the most intelligent woman I have ever met.” He defended angrily.

  “She doesn’t play the piano or dance,” the woman argued.

  “But she sings!” Peeta claimed.

  “No, she doesn’t compare.”

  “But she still breathes air!” He snapped finally.

  “Unimportant, everybody knows that’s just a temporary state which is cured very quickly when we meet our fate.” She reasoned but hurt danced on the bride’s almond big eyes.

Her demeanor turned from angry to sad “if I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain, if you cut me with a knife it’s still the same and I know her heart is beating and I know that I’m dead yet the pain here I feel, try and tell me is not real.”

Katniss was starting to understand what was going on too.

  “Go to her. I still don’t understand what you see in that brainless woman. But I know your love is not mine,” the bride said with broken words.

  “I’m sorry. I’d never intended to hurt you”

  She shook her head softly “You set me free, now I can do the same for you.” Johanna removed the ring from her finger, handing it to Peeta. He looked down to her hand, comprehending what the gesture meant to her.

The bride softly pushed Peeta towards Katniss and he happily obliging. He was about to get there, Katniss breathtaking smile directed at him when the door opened abruptly.

  “Is everything alright Catnip? I was taking my nightly walk by the garden when I heard yelling and came to see if you girls were fine.”

  “Everything is fine my dear friend, you shouldn’t worry about us so much.” Katniss sweetly answering the stranger.

  “Well, well. What do we have here?” The bride corpse asked “You stole my husband and now you’re not introducing me to this tall, dark and handsome gentleman?”

Katniss smirked knowingly.

  “Well, this is my friend Gale Hawthorne and judging by the way he is admiring your still barely covered breasts, am pretty sure he will be willing to take a walk with you, if not more.” Gale was blushing furiously, unable to look away of Johanna’s breasts.

  She started to fix the dress again, but something made her think better of it “Let’s go handsome. I’ve been waiting for centuries.” She extended her hand to him and he surprisingly took it.

  They walk to the forest and back to the land of the dead.

Katniss and Peeta got married a few days later, not wishing to wait longer than that.

  Mrs. Mellark was not invited and there was a reserved, place in a dark corner for two guests of honor who traveled from a far, faraway place.

The new Fic and Fanart-athion. Halloween themed!

Do you know a spooky song that reminds you of everlark? Remember, the story only has to have everlark as the focal point. It can be them as just to friends it doesn't have to be romantic at all.

You have all month to write it. They will all be posted on the 31st for Halloween! You may submit at any time.

As always, fanart is welcome too! We wanna see your art work too! Just don't forget to let us know if its ok to post on our instagram page as well.

With the fanfics, if they aren't already posted works, please don't post on other sites until the 31st! And remember to add all stories to our collection on AO3. If you need/want a AO3 account message us with your email and we will send out a invite. All email addresses are deleted afterwards.

Does anyone read like our prompts? It just bothers us that other blogs can do a prompt and everyone else will go crazy with It and then this blog will do one and no one really does seem to do it. We try to promote like crazy and nothing seems to work.

Now we are also in need still of someone who has some extra time to help with the rec blog and this one too.

We are just looking for new ideas from everyone to make this blog better. Thank you!

I Can't Make You Love Me

A one shot songfic set during the night of the Quarter Quell from Peeta's POV.  Inspired by the song I Can't Make You Love Me by Bonnie Raitt

I Can't Make You Love Me

We have just completed the interviews. If I thought I had shocked them last time with my declaration of love for Katniss, boy did I outdo myself this go around. I have just told the entire country that this beautiful girl beside me and I were secretly married, and now she is pregnant. It had put the entire audience into pandemonium. They are so in love with us that the thought of sending the star-crossed lovers of District 12 back into the arena has caused serious rioting in the streets. All of the victors had taken the energy from this and for once raised hands together in a moment of brotherhood. Take that President Snow. If my fiancée can fuel a rebellion with her bow and arrow, I can do it with my words.

Katniss, my fiancé. Using that term to identify her still stings. To get what I wanted my whole life, but with a catch. It's all just a show. Every day that passes I have to remind myself that she doesn't love me. And tomorrow, we are heading back into the arena. There is no way that both of us will be coming home this time. One of us will have to die, and I am going to make sure that it is me. Whether she loves me or not doesn't matter. I love her more than my life, and I am more than ready to give it up if it means that she will live.

I take a look at Katniss standing next to me. She doesn't seem like she is upset by my announcement. In fact, I would have to say that she actually seems pleased. I guess it gives her a kind of satisfaction and freedom, knowing what a stir I've caused.

As we get off the elevator, I have to quickly make sure she is okay before the others arrive. I take her by the shoulders and turn her towards me to make sure she is listening.

"There isn't much time, so tell me. Is there anything I have to apologize for?" I ask seriously.

She pauses for a moment to think, but then those grey eyes sparkle at me as Katniss smiles. "It was risky for you to do that without telling me, but it was good  Really good." I breathe a sigh of relief.

Haymitch comes in then, and tells us what an uproar is going on outside. We go to the windows to see and watch the chaos in the streets, but come to the conclusion that even so, the Games won't be cancelled. I also have a sneaking feeling that the solidarity amongst the victors tonight will be short lived.

We say our goodbyes to our mentor, who continues to advise us to "Stay alive." He knows my plan, and said that he would help me make sure Katniss wins. The old drunk says some private words to Katniss about remembering who the enemy is, but I am not sure what he means by that. Haymitch finally winks at me when he turns to leave, and I take that as a sign he plans to keep his promise.

Once we are alone, the two of us then walk down the hallway towards our rooms. I reach my door and am about to turn and go in, but for some reason Katniss won't let me go.  She hangs on to my arm for dear life.

"If you go in there, they might lock the door and you won't be able to get out," she says with pleading eyes.

"I need to shower," I argue. "I have to get this makeup off." They've put the stuff on me for all of the TV interviews, but I can't stand to leave it on for too long.

"You can clean up in my shower," she offers. "Please, Peeta. Stay with me." Her eyes are staring directly into mine and pleading. This usually fearless girl is truly afraid she could be left alone tonight. I can't deny her.

"Alright," I sigh and begin to follow her.

We walk farther down the hallway to Katniss' room and go in. I let her wash up first, and she only takes a few minutes. I have already gotten my jacket and shoes off when she comes out of the bathroom wearing one of the comfortable night outfits she usually wears to sleep. Her dark hair is down from its braid into soft waves, and I can smell the strawberries that must have been in the shampoo she used.

"Your turn," Katniss states quietly. I nod and head into the bathroom myself. I find the shower and see that it is just like the one in my own quarters. I quickly manage to wash all of the work my prep team had done off my face. The hot water feels good on my muscles and I can at least feel some of the tension go away. Some…but not all.

When I finish, I put my pants and my undershirt back on, as Katniss wouldn't let me get my own sleepwear, and there is nothing she has for me to sleep in. I walk back out to see that the covers have been pulled down on the bed and the lights are dimmed.

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed Turn down these voices inside my head

My mind is so full tonight, not only with everything that had happened in the past few days, but all that lay ahead in the arena, as well. My thoughts constantly remind me that I have to keep to the plan. My selfish side tries to argue that I should try and save myself. This is pointless, of course. I know what I have to do. I wish I could shut my mind off and sleep, but I know that is probably not going to happen, especially with the girl of my dreams in the same bed.

I walk over to the large comfortable bed and sit on it. Katniss is putting the bedspread over a chair and turns back around to look at me. I pat the empty space beside me and she comes over and gets in under the covers.

Lay down with me, tell me no lies Just hold me close, don't patronize Don't patronize me

Instinctively, she inches over to my side and comes into my waiting embrace. It doesn't take long before her own arms are around me and our legs are entangled together. Neither of us is attempting to sleep. We just lay there staring into each other’s eyes but not speaking. I could stay like this forever with her just holding onto me. It feels so good, but I also know the truth.

"I just need you to be close tonight," Katniss breaks the silence with her quiet statement. "I don't think I can sleep, and I'm not really sure I want to anyway."

"The nightmares." I reply in understanding. I don't want to face them either.  They are only manageable when we sleep together.

"I know they'll be bad," she continues. "I know I need to sleep to be fresh tomorrow, and I can't do that without you. You're the only one who can keep them away."

That's right. I seem to be the only one who can help soothe her during the night terrors. But that's all she wants from me. Nothing more. No matter how much I have dreamed when it came to Katniss, this is all I will get. And tomorrow, I will begin the plan that will end in my death. I haven't been able to bring my dreams into reality before, and now I am out of time. Who was I to think that she could ever really be mine? That's not what Katniss was ever looking for.

Cause I can't make you love me if you don't You can't make your heart feel something it won't

I naively once thought long ago that if I actually ever got the courage to talk to Katniss she would finally notice me. Once I got in, then I could finally tell her everything that I felt for her. I knew she would love me if only I had the chance.

Little did I know that the first time I would have a conversation with her would be on the train as tributes in the Hunger Games. Not necessarily the best situation to get to know someone for the first time. I came up with the idea of the staged romance, even though for me everything was true.

I kind of hoped that through us having to pretend, that just maybe it could become real somehow. I was wrong. I tricked myself into believing Katniss in the cave. I thought all of the glances, the loving words and kisses had something behind them. But, on the train home I learned that it was all for the cameras. That lesson still hurt even now. Since then we've managed to put together a kind of basic friendship, but it's so hard when all you want is more.

There have been a few moments where I thought that maybe she could have feelings for me. Yesterday we actually seemed to have a connection when we spent time on the roof.  But reality has always come crashing down. Katniss needs comfort, and I'm the only one here. All I really have are these times in the middle of the night when she has relied on me to sleep. And here we are for what will probably be the last time like this.

Here in the dark, in these final hours I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power

Knowing this is more than likely my final night with her alone, I decide to lay it all out there. Say to her the one thing I need to before I begin to let this dark haired beauty go.

Katniss is still staring into my eyes as I kiss her forehead. "I love you," I finally tell her. "I just wanted to say it before…" My sentence trails off. Just saying the words takes a load off of my chest. At least she will know the truth when I am gone.

I think that I might some kind of loving reply from her, but this is Katniss. She has difficulty understanding her emotions, let alone putting them into words. She is also stubborn, and I am sure she has some foolish plan of her own to try and save me in the Games. Good luck with that.

She sighs heavily and finally says, "Peeta, we'll be okay. We always look out for each other right? We just have to stay together, and I'll get you home."

I let out a huff in frustration at her determination to die out there for me. "Why would you do that?" I ask honestly. "You should be the one to go home to your family."

"You're such a good person. Out of all of us, you are the one who truly deserves to live." Once again, there is no feeling of real love there for me. It's just a belief that I am the better person and that she owes me. That is ridiculous. Katniss has sacrificed so much in her life. Her family needs her. I decide not to reply and let the silence hang on, simply running my fingers through her hair.

But you won't, no you won't 'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

Time passes, and after a while, I see Katniss' eyes close as sleep finally overtakes her. The fear is still out there inside of us, so I try to take this peaceful time to try and rest myself in hopes that I won't have to think about the situation anymore.

I'll close my eyes, then I won't see The love you don't feel when you're holding me

In these short moments of troubled sleep, I still dream of her, and of what the future could be. I see her in the woods with Gale, smiling with beautiful dark haired children around her. She looks at them all so lovingly. I know she could be happy if only she would allow it. She would be an amazing mother. This is what my plan is about…her future. I am going to die in the arena so that she can live her life with Hawthorne.

I have seen him around Katniss and know that he loves her. He would make sure to take care of her. I know she has feelings for him too, even if she is confused about them for now. The two of them are so alike and easy together.

Katniss needs to win so that she can go home to the life she could have. I have to convince her of this by using her feelings for the tall hunter, Mrs. Everdeen, and Prim. I have to build that fire within her that wants to survive. Right now her whole agenda is to protect me. I can't let that happen.

I've already got the locket that I am going to give Katniss as a reminder of what she has at home to live for. I gave Portia instructions to put it as my token to wear inside the arena. I retrieved a picture from Mrs. Everdeen of her and Prim, and Mrs. Hawthorne was able to find a photograph of Gale. She was extremely surprised that I would want one at first, but happy to oblige once I told her it would be for Katniss.

The two images are inside the locket, and I will give it to her in the arena when the time is right. Katniss has to realize what she is giving up if she dies. They are depending on her. My situation is different. Nobody would care if I was gone. My family and few friends would be sad but make it through soon enough. No one truly needs me. Katniss has become my whole life, even if only for a short time. Every moment counts. All I have is right now, this night, but only until the morning when I will have to leave her.

Morning will come and I'll do what's right Just give me till then to give up this fight And I will give up this fight

When dawn approaches and I can see the sun trying to break through the windows, the door opens and Cinna and Portia are there. They don't seem shocked to see us together like this, but I notice a look of sadness come across their faces. The stylists care about us, I know, but they have to do their job.

I take a quick glance at Katniss. She is still wrapped around me, but now wide awake. She is looking directly at me. From the sad expression in her eyes I can tell she obviously doesn't want me to go. But I have to. I have no choice. If my plan is going to work, I have to let her go, starting now. I place a soft kiss on her lips.

"See you soon." I tell her. It's the best I can offer.

"See you soon," she replies. With that I get up and out of the bed. I pick up the clothes that have been lying on the chair all night to take them back with me. I then see Cinna walking towards Katniss, and her attention shifts to him and his instructions. She is focused now, which is what she needs to be. All my dreams of her and what could have been flash in my mind. But, this was never a place for romance. Only hunger and death. Who was I to think any different just because I fell in love with this girl at the age of five? The fates obviously had had another plan, and it didn't include love.

Cause I can't make you love me if you don't You can't make your heart feel something it won't Here in the dark, in these lonely hours I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power But you won't, no you won't 'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

As I walk out of the room to be prepped for the arena, I decide that at this point, it really doesn't matter if Katniss loves me now. What matters is that I make her want to live. Keeping her safe is the most important thing.

With a clear purpose, I look back one last time at this girl of my dreams, and try to retain her beautiful face in my mind for the battle ahead.

The Cloth That Feels Like Love Itself

Song Inspiration:  She by Charles Aznavour (lyrics at the end), 1974

  Peeta didn’t think he could love another woman as much as he loves Katniss.  Then he became a father.

  Visual Inspiration Post Mockingjay Edit used with permission by unicorn-feelings.

  “There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.”  ~John Gregory Brown

  XXXXX

  13 weeks

  “Peeta!” I heard her call to me from upstairs.  From the sound of her voice, I knew something was wrong. I raced up the stairs two at a time and flew into the room as she called my name again, this time more shrilly.

  “Is everything okay?” I said, trying to keep the panic out of my voice.  She lay on her back and  I looked at the small swell of her exposed belly where she’d drawn her nightgown up.  “Do we need to call the doctor?”

  Katniss sat up, her arms over her belly as she began to pant.  “Peeta, I felt it,” she gasped.

  “The...baby?” I said slowly, trying to understand her emergency.

  “Yes!  I...felt it..I felt it...move.” She tried to push the words out over her growing hysteria.

  I sat down next to her, carefully, as if she would shatter in a million pieces if I wasn’t gentle with her.  “That’s...good, right?” I said slowly, trying to repress a jolt of excitement. Our baby moved!

  She just nodded, beginning to shake. I put my arms around her and whispered soft words in her ear to calm her. When I was sure Katniss was calm, I put my cheek to her stomach and spoke to our baby for the first time.

  "Hey, you in there! Go easy on your mom, okay?"  I chuckled while my heart did somersaults.

  XXXXX

  20 weeks

  Katniss said the baby liked my voice. Our little girl sprang into action every time I was near. However, this became awkward when we made love. I liked talking to Katniss because she was so open in that moment, so accessible. I never tired of telling her how beautiful she was, how much I loved her. When you've been through what Katniss and I have been through, you don't waste a chance to show each other how you feel.

  But I had to learn to be quiet when we were together because the minute I said a word, the baby kicked, which really ruined the mood for Katniss.

  "I just finished reading a book where the main character had to put a pacifier in his lover's mouth to keep her quiet," Katniss told me one night on the porch.  She'd taken up reading to calm her nerves because pregnancy inspired every one of her fears and being in the woods was becoming difficult for her.  Reading turned out to be one of the most soothing things for her.

  "What are you trying to say?" I said warily.

  Later, when we were sated, I put my lips on her ever growing belly and told my baby, "If your pacifier ever goes missing, you might want to check with your dad."

  XXXXX

  41 Weeks

  She was born in May, one week past her due date, just like her mother. A spring baby. Katniss said it was close to poetic. She had told me years ago about the day I tossed the bread and the dandelion in spring.  It's humbling to mean that much to someone, especially someone who you love the way I love Katniss. I've always controlled the more excessive parts of my feelings for her but inside I'm like a star about to go supernova around her, even after all these years.

  It always seemed like a massive symbol for one person to carry.  Especially for me. I'm not hope and spring all the time.  Visions of the past take hold of me and I still have to grip the back of a chair or something solid till it passes.  I have dreams that leave me in a funk for days. But Sophia? She was pure light. Uncontaminated joy.  She was the real dandelion in spring.  I could barely see past my tears when her cry pierced the air the night she was born.

  So when Mrs. Everdeen handed us our daughter for the first time, I told her, "Hello, Sophia.  I'm your dad.  I'm happy to share this metaphor with you."

  XXXXX

  6 months

  Sophia was a chubby, dark-haired beauty.  Looking at her was like looking at a tiny version of her mother, which I think was the universe's surefire way of making sure I'd fall madly in love with her.  Except for her eyes.  She was born with those giant blue eyes wide open.  I always thought babies were born with their eyes closed, like the stray kittens in the meadow. But not Sophia. She came into the world looking around in that quiet way she would always have of observing things and taking in everything.  She latched right onto her mother's breast form the first and placidly drank her part before falling asleep.  She took two naps a day and woke up once at night to nurse and went right back to sleep.  Sometimes Katniss had to wake her to keep her on a feeding schedule.  

  Mrs. Everdeen stayed with us for the first six months.  She liked to say that Prim was that kind of baby - very calm and even-tempered while Katniss was the fussy, cholicky one.  But I begged to differ.  I looked in her blue eyes and heard my father speaking in my memories, describing me to my uncle.

  "A sweet tempered child.  He never fussed and was just as happy under a tree as in his crib.  I never understood why his mother was the way she was with him sometimes."  A terrible melancholy overtook me at the thought of my mother and I picked up my little girl, holding her close to me, a tiny bundled that seemed to disappear in the protective cocoon of my arms.

  "You are your father's daughter, except I promise you I will never, ever hurt you."

  XXXXX

  10 Years

  Katniss had a hard time when Sophia started going to school.  Her brother, Rye, had been born by then and Sophia had appointed herself his official protector.  But no one could protect her from knowing about the revolution.

  I guess it was in fifth grade when it all came together for her - the scars, the nightmares, the Book of Memories, Uncle Haymitch's funny ways.  But she didn't tell us with words.  I think knowledge like that is too hard for a child to convey verbally.  It washes over you like a tidal wave and when you come up from the depths of the sea, your world has suddenly been changed and you feel the first ache of what it means to be grown up.

  She drew it in her pictures.  She didn't keep a journal like other girls.  She sketched the major highlights of each day and there was no question about it - her talent put mine to shame.  She drew compulsively for days, getting up from her desk only to go to the bathroom or to eat.  In the evening, I showed Katniss the pictures and she could do nothing more than sit down and cry.  They were of us in our official clothing, maybe from her history book - Katniss in her "Girl-on-Fire" dress, me in my "wedding suit."  Arena outfits.  Mockingjay uniform.  Because the world had called into question the identity of the two people she believed were the most stable constructs in her world and now she had to rebuild us in her mind again. It hurt us to watch her do it and yet we had no choice but to let her undergo her process.

  We knew she was done when one day, she gathered up all of her supplies and placed everything neatly in a stack before coming out on the porch and sitting on my lap.  That is when the questions came and Katniss and I answered them as honestly as we could. I could see the horror in her eyes, especially when her brother came to sit with us and I caught her staring at him numerous times, perhaps imagining what it would be liked if little Rye had been reaped and coming up against a new kind of terror she had never known in her life.

  That night, she cried out in her sleep.  We raced across the hallway to find her sobbing.  We didn't need to ask.  Katniss had foreseen it the moment she knew she was expecting and it opened up an old wound in her heart.  I lay in bed with my girls and little Rye, who had woken up with  the commotion and cradled them all against me.  The only thing I could tell them was "I can't promise bad things won't happen but I swear I will protect you the best way I can."

  XXXXX

  16 Years

  "What's wrong with Sophia?" I asked Katniss one night.  Sophia had been moping around the house for a few days and was nothing at all like her usual self.

  Katniss took a deep breath.  "Remember Brandt?"

  "Sure."

  "Well, he's going to District 9 to study engineering.  He leaves this summer after graduation."

  "Good for him!" I said, perfectly clueless to the implication of the news to my daughter.

  "Peeta!" scolded Katniss, giving me a meaningful look.

  I sat back and thought about Sophia's dejection, the news of her friend's departure, and the realization hit me that my little girl had been in love and I hadn't even noticed.  Hadn't wanted to notice.  She'd gone and grown up right under my nose and, without any input from me, had fallen in love and gotten her heart broken.

  I know something about the heartbreak of first love.  I was luckier than most.  I got to marry and have children with my one and only love.  We went through every shade of hell to get to our Happily Ever After, but I got to marry the girl I'd loved since I was five.  Yet there had been a period where I had been heartbroken.  Six months.   And it was worse than putting my arm in boiling water.  It scalded. It left burns behind.  Even after the initial realization that Katniss wasn't going to give me the time of day, the pain just kept coming back in waves instead of subsiding and disappearing altogether.

  I felt the fist of anxiety close over my chest at the realization that my little girl was probably feeling this right now.  The most powerful lesson you can learn as a parent is that you can't live your life for your children.  That's their job.  You can only give them the tools to do the best they can and get out of their way, ready at every moment to help them pick up the pieces when they're done.

  So I knocked on Sophia's door, letting myself in slowly.  She sat at her desk, pencil in hand, sketches scattered about.  It was her heartbreak laid bare.  Scenes of every kind that you would expect of two young lovers surrounded her - stealing a kiss, exchanging gifts, walking in the forest.  She was working through her heartbreak the way she worked through everything else - through her drawings.

  I sat on her bed and waited for her to need me.  It didn't take very long.  She came to sit on my lap as she had done so many times as a child and wordlessly cried her heartbreak into the crook of my neck. I whispered those soothing nothings that I said to her mother when she was in the grip of her nightmares and grief.  When she was beyond tears and able to listen I told her, "Don't ever regret loving people, no matter how it comes out in the end."

  XXXXX

  19 Years

  Not surprisingly, Sophia decided to study art.  I was ecstatic - drawing was more than a hobby or even a talent to my daughter.  It was her way of thinking, of interacting with the world.  It was the most natural thing that she would want to make it her career - to immerse herself in her gift.  She placed in every art competition she entered and won many of them.  

  She was particularly fond of sketching her brother, who was a regular woodsman and probably represented all the romantic possibilities of the forest. An air of wildness clung to him the way it clung to his mother. Rye was external in all things - he said what he thought, was extremely affable, had a quick temper and couldn't stand being inside the house.  It was earth and dirt and plants and animals that he wanted. He experienced a direct communion with the natural world.

  In contrast, Sophia lived inside her mind.  She thought all the time, said little and had the same look Katniss had when she stared at you and you were sure she could see right to the bottom of your soul.  She spoke through her pencils and paints.  And yet, as quiet and thoughtful as she was, she burned with her own fierce fire.  She was ambitious. She took pride in her work.  She liked to win.  

  What undid Katniss and me was not that she wanted to study art.  It was that she wanted to study art in the Capitol.

  "But why the Capitol?" complained Katniss as we walked to the lake.  There were some conversations that had to take place far from listening ears.

  "The best school of arts is located in the Capitol."  I tried to use my soothing voice.

  "But the Capitol!"  she repeated and I thought I saw a shiver run up her spine.  Outside of my medical visits, we avoided going to the Capitol at all costs, even after the restrictions on Katniss' travel were lifted.  It brought too many bad memories to both of us.

  And yet, how could we deny her?  She had gotten accepted to, The National Academy of the Arts, the most exclusive school of arts in all of Panem.  Only the best students from each district were admitted to this school and District 12 had historically sent very few candidates to the Academy. Our District prepared some of the best doctors and nurses but few artists came from our ranks.

  I stopped her furious stomping along the forest path and put my hands gently on her shoulders. "Katniss, it might be time for us to let this go also.  The Capitol is no longer death personified, at least for our youth.  The young people see it as a place for opportunity and growth.  The mean age of Capitol citizens is lower than in the surrounding Districts.  People don't go there to die anymore.  They go there to live."

  "But..." she whispered.  "She's our daughter!"  She burst into tears and I held onto her as she trembled in terror.  "It's like the Reaping all over again."

  "Shhhh...I know.  But the context matters.  This is a victory for us, don’t you see?  This is what we fought for."  I ached along with her but I had to be hopeful also.  It was an honor for Sophia and wasn't meant to be a source of torment for any of us.”

  "Peeta...how...how do we.." she stuttered.

  "Let her go?  When I figure that out, I'll let you know." I answered sadly as I pulled her into my arms.

  When she boarded the train to the Capitol in late summer, we still hadn't figured out a way to let her go but we did it anyway.  Because that's what parents do.  Our children become pieces of our hearts walking the vast world outside of our bodies and though it brings us a raw kind of pain, we let them take those bits of us with them as we release them to take their journeys alone.  

  That morning, Sophia Mellark was a glorious thing to behold - she wore one of Katniss' dresses and stood beautiful and proud like her mother, calm and creative like me, carrying an internal scale that she balanced without consulting with the outside world.  There was no war, no blood, nor agony to clip her wings. She knew where she had to go and she went there with eyes and heart wide open. Soon, I would have to share that rare creature with the world.  She was my greatest joy and now brought me my greatest pain.  

  Sophia gripped Katniss tightly, a full head taller than her and yet she sank like a toddler into her mother's arms.   She told her mother things in a low murmuring voice that no one else was meant to hear, things that seemed to calm Katniss in a way I could not.  She turned to her brother, who grabbed her roughly and planted a violent kiss on her cheek, promising to put an arrow through anyone who messed with her.  

  And then there was me.  And I still hadn't figured out how to let her go.  She held onto me the longest and I searched for the words to give her.  That she was the song of summer, the chill of autumn, the love that I was always fated to let go, whose every laughter and tear became a souvenir that I would cherish until the day I died.   But it was she who filled in the aching silence of the air already heavy with the nostalgia for the girl I'd raised and loved above every other woman in the world.

  "You told me to love fearlessly and now I understand why, because you never really leave the ones you love behind.”

  XXXXX

  She

  She

May be the face I can't forget

The trace of pleasure or regret

May be my treasure or the price I have to pay

She

May be the song that summer sings

May be the chill that autumn brings

May be a hundred different things

Within the measure of a day

  She

May be the beauty or the beast

May be the famine or the feast

May turn each day into a heaven or a hell

She may be the mirror of my dreams

The smile reflected in a stream

She may not be what she may seem

Inside her shell

  She

Who always seems so happy in a crowd

Whose eyes can be so private and so proud

No one's allowed to see them when they cry

She

May be the love that cannot hope to last

May come to me from shadows of the past

That I'll remember till the day I die

  She

May be the reason I survive

The why and wherefore I'm alive

The one I'll care for through the rough and ready years

Me

I'll take her laughter and her tears

And make them all my souvenirs

For where she goes I've got to be

The meaning of my life is

  She

She, oh she

  XXXXX

  I want to thank gozips28 for the wonderful idea of creating a site dedicated to songfics.  I can't tell you how many fic ideas I get from listening to music.  A million thanks to my extraordinary betas, solasvioletta, bubblegum1425 and peetabreadgirl.  Only love for all of you.

  If I can suggest the Laura Pausini version of She - Uguale a Lei.  It is the version that I listened to that inspired this one-shot and made me realize that it was as much a song of devotion as of love.

  This is not intended as a Good Again outtake.  However, I might mine it for inspiration when I go to write the second part of that fic.  I wanted to create a specific character for Katniss and Peeta's daughter who may or may not appear in this form again.  It is hard for me to see that far.

  Thank you for reading!

  ct/titania522

Fic and Fanart-athion

Remember its starts tomorrow! Prompt is 70s music!!!