UHM OBJECTION DUMBASS

reblog, don’t repost!

Twitter / Instagram: Laquilasse

I love how this could be either am or pm and still make sense

A new folk hero for the working class. Be like this comrade every chance you can get away with.

The sequel.

Pardon me excuse me but Nani the FUCK

true story! a few years ago i was working at both ol*ve g*rden and tj m*xx, and both of the following happened within the same several weeks:

at ol*ve g*rden, they'd put up a christmas tree in the lobby and had the employees each decorate a snowflake ornament to hang on it. i asked the general manager (mostly as a joke tbh) if i could bring in a menorah to display for chanukkah

and the gm is like, "well we're not allowed to display any religious imagery in the restaurant. it's a rule from corporate."

to which i said, "you are standing in front of a christmas tree as we speak."

and i shit you not, she goes "oh, but that's not really religious! that's just festive, you know, for the holidays." and would not hear another word about it

then a few weeks later at tj, probably once we were firmly into december but idr for sure, they start breaking out the "holiday" aprons for the employees to wear (all red, of course), and santa hats, and these fucking elf ear and reindeer antler headbands.

and one of my managers sees that i'm not wearing anything except the apron, and she asks me to put one on. and i was like "i'm not really comfortable with wearing any of those, since i don't celebrate christmas." (also i just really didn't want to wear one bc they looked stupid and they made my ears and head hurt, but still)

and she ALSO says, "oh, it's not christmas, it's just festive for winter. also corporate wants every sales associate to wear one"

which actually just made me more uncomfortable bc now she's trying to MAKE me wear one anyway

i was like "yeah, no that's definitely all christmas stuff and i'm really not comfortable with that"

so she let it go with a lot of huffing and eye-rolling, and then goes on the walkie to tell the entire staff "oh by the way guys, i forgot to tell you, but corporate FINALLY said we're allowed to say merry christmas to the customers this year!" and everyone up at the registers w me was like NICE! YES!

and i was just

so like, that's what we mean when we say that xtianity is so pervasive in our culture that a lot of people genuinely believe xmas things are secular, even though they AREN'T

PSA

Degenerative illnesses exist. 

Not everyone gets better.

And a LOT of people don’t have even off-label treatments, let alone FDA approved ones.

Don’t assume someone doesn’t understand their own illness/pain.  They know their bodies better than you do.

Is there any studies that prove fat people are denied job promotions and make less over their lifetimes or is TiTP lying?

We are indeed not lying. Fat women suffer a huge penalty for even being a bit “overweight.” Thin women (below average weight), on the other hand, make the most money of all women by far.

Women 25 lbs below average weight take home an additional $15,572 each year.

Heavy women earned $9,000 less than their average-weight counterparts; very heavy women earned $19,000 less. Very thin women, on the other hand, earned $22,000 more than those who were merely average.

That means very heavy women make on average $41,000/yr less than very thin women.

$41,000 per year.

If we assume people work from ages 20 - 65, that’s $1,845,000 in thin-privileged income.

If you invest even 10% of that income each year at 5%, you’d get an extra $687,509 over 45 years. So that’s a total of about $2.5 million.

Thin privilege is getting 2.5 million extra dollars over your working lifetime by virtue of being thin.

He’s so fucking funny

yknow the more jk rowlings world falls apart in america (race relations, international history, population, etc) the more i like to think that america just straight up doesnt have the statute of secrecy. european countries are falling over themselves hiding magic but come to georgia and theres a drunk redneck wizard wingardium leviosa-ing the shit out of a tractor to the delight of his drunk redneck muggle buddies in a walmart parking lot.

wizard on muggle violence is prevented by virtue of there being like a 50/50 chance that muggle is packing heat. muggle on wizard violence is prevented by knowing that wizard can give you boils spelling LIL BITCH on your forehead if you try to start something.

america is the weird redheaded stepchild of the magic world.

im not gonna stop reblogging this until this is the next Hot Fanon

english muggles come back to england and suspicious wizards meet them at the airport. 

‘did you witness any strange or inexplicable acts while you were in america?’ they demand. 

the english muggles just laugh in their dumb fucking faces. mate, it’s america. 

what’s the difference between a werewolf and an animagus?

english wizard: *two hour lecture on legal history*

american wizard: six beers

@jumpingjacktrash congrats ive read hundreds of comments on this dumpster fire of a headcanon and yours is the best

thank you my patronus is a monster truck

I have reblogged this I don’t even fucking know how many times but I still completely lose it every time I see the words “My Patronus is a monster truck” because that is the most AMERICAN thing I’ve ever seen in 29 years of being ‘merican.

Variant: What with the International Statute of Secrecy being an international law, the American magical community suffered quite a bit at the hands of forcible attempts to make everyone conform to it, until anti-seclusionist magical forces got their hands on the sort of magics being used to hide the wizarding world from nonmagical society, and hid themselves and their communities from the magical government and its institutions.

That’s why Ilvermorny is “the only American wizarding school.” That’s why the American magical population feels like something the size of the British one pasted on something a couple orders of magnitude bigger. That’s why Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them is so white. That’s why nonmagical people have a persistent quiet willingness to believe in magic just enough to allow for the possibility of its existence, and fill their stories with it, and readily interact with the idea of it. It’s an elaborate homegrown smokescreen to hide hundreds of integrated magical communities from the magical community that demands magical communities keep themselves secret.

The forces behind the International Statute of Secrecy made themselves such an absolute nuisance that some 95% of the magical population of America stole their hide-from-the-muggles spells and locked them out of knowledge of their existence.

The International Wizarding Community: “You are now forbidden to let any nonmagical people know you exist.”

Six Gazillion American Wizarding Communities: *Jedi mind trick hand motions* “Fuck you, we don’t exist. Nothing to see here.”

The International Wizarding Community: “Looks like the problem’s been solved, I guess. Pip pip cheerio.”

Six Gazillion American Wizarding Communities And Their Muggle Friends: “OK I’mma cast Engorgio on my tires and invent Monster Trucking, hold my beer.”

this is the best addition to this post to date, headcanon absolutely fucking accepted

Omg, can you imagine parseltongue in Texas?

“Listen here, you fucking rattler, I do not have time to hear about the differences between hares and rabbits.”

“But the hares are sssssso tasty…”

‘Pip, pip, cheerio’ - ya know, the reason why anything outside of the French wizarding world is so sketchily rendered, is that the rest of the world has done this trick too. Durmstrang is somewhere in Scandinavia with a German name and Russian customs? It’s a hoax and at least ten countries are in on it. The Irish have no wizarding school? Maybe Seamus has very loyalist parents! Here’s England thinking it is the centre of the world, using parchment and owls, for Merlin’s sake. The rest of the world has been doing its own thing for centuries, and some schools like to humour them at times. They haven’t noticed, and Estonia especially cannot believe their complete ignorance of IT-magic.

The entire British Wizarding World has Harry Potter’s level of noticing things that don’t pertain to it.

So… completely on brand for the British Ministry of Magic as depicted in the books: absolutely oblivious even when it literally explodes in their face and murders children and shit.

Oh my gosh, so many good additions!

Brie Larson on witnessing a proposal right in front of ther eyes at ACE Comic Con 

Girls will say they busy and be in their bed relaxin or sleep

Sounds busy to me

Reblog if you are busy 

BOOST!

knew it

Whoop time to update my friend

They're already going back on the original donation holds anyway so nothing has changed except a marketing ploy .

the clickhole people take no prisoners yet again

“assuming autistic people don’t know what things like sex and romance are is infantilizing and ableist” and “let asexual, aromantic, and aroace autistic people exist in peace” are two opinions that can coexist and some of you really need to Know

The idea that they can’t coexist also perpetuates the idea that because asexual and aromantic people don’t feel sexual or romantic attraction that they dont understand sex and romance which is also infantilizing and ace/arophobic

actually rb this version instead