every time raph is on dropout, he says something so earnestly that makes me laugh harder than any joke ever could

And people say her lyrics aren't deep

The boys are back together!!

Lincoln Park posted the photos below along with this update on April 23:

"After successful reintroductions to Pesho, Sidai and Pilipili in their indoor space, Lomelok’s care and veterinary teams have made the decision to allow intermittent yard access for all four youngsters starting today.

Lomelok will continue to need rest days as he builds his endurance, so you will not always see the coalition of boys outside as his brothers may stay with him indoors as company. The animal care and veterinary teams will continue to monitor his progress as he continues on his journey."

Here's a great article about Lomelok's unprecedented spinal surgery, the reintroductions to his brothers, and the physical therapy routine the zoo has set up for him.

via @p0tato-kn1shes

The fact that homelessness is controversial tells you everything you need to know about conservatives.

i love to make fun of notorious white woman Taylor Swift and all of her embarrassing attempts to appear deeper than a plate of soup.

happy to announce that this post is at the top of the taylor swift tag, meaning this is the most widely shared opinion regarding Taylor on this website at the moment.

It's not the first time that has happened

fun fact one of the world champions in pepper-eating contests is a trans woman and she actually faced significant backlash because people somehow thought she had a biological advantage. to eating spicy pepper

update bc i went back and checked: her name is brianna “the chilli queen” skinner and she set a record in 2017 by slamming back 23 carolina reapers consecutively. she only stopped when told to by the referees, and the next year she stepped down out of boredom. queen

Here's a picture of her, by the way

And her super supportive wife

why small kittens are always either the most pathetic or the most evil creature you've ever seen

@am-i-the-asshole-official

OP here with some updates.

1. Some people in the comments seemed confused by this so I want to clarify.

My partner is not dubious about the 'jerking off' aspect, but instead the spread of Goya's art when he did not intend for it to have an audience. They find the mugs, t-shirts, posters, and other merchandise just as ethically dodgy.

This isn't an issue of masturbation being worse, or "thought crimes" this was an issue of my engagement with the wide spread of Goya's most private works.

2. They have since caved and also jerked it to Goya's paintings just to give it a shot. Well, they tried. It wasn't for them. They get where I'm coming from (the paintings evoke strong emotions that are very complicated, beating your meat as a form of stimming can help you with working through these.) It just wasn't their style. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3. Re: variations on "you couldn't torture this information out of me". Sorry you have so much shame about your sexual proclivities. Try unlearning shame and loosening up a bit, perhaps.

4. At the request of @monikererror, I will now be rating how much I enjoy each painting for this activity. Full review below the cut.

This is horrifyingly true.

If you get a captcha asking you to identify the tents or the RV's, request a new captcha. Stop snitching now includes making sure you're logging in online ethically I guess?

enough reclaiming slurs, I think in 2023 we should reclaim nascar. they banned the confederate flag on all properties & their stance on lgbtq+ isn’t just performative bc in 2013 they fined a driver 10k for using a homophobic slur, condemned indiana in a statement for an anti lgbt law, and partnered w carolina’s lgbt+ chamber of conference in 2022. nascar was founded by anti-cop moonshiners/bootleggers who drove suped-up fords to out-run the police. #yaaascar

HELP

To this day, my favorite argument I ever had was with my Nascar-loving family about how a thin blue line flag on a Nascar is antithetical to the core tenets of Nascar. There is no organization more rooted in ACAB than Nascar. Literally, the only reason it exists was that a bunch of moonshining families had to build cars that could outrun the cops while on supply runs during the Prohibition Era. The goal was to make the car look like a regular vehicle so they could pick up supplies or drop off illegal alcohol without arousing suspicion. But if the cops were on you all you had to do was put the pedal to the metal and that little truck could outrun them with no problems. And of course, families would be in competition over who made the best alcohol, and whose car was fastest. So, they would have races on the weekends. When prohibition was lifted, the races continued. And that is why we have Nascar. It really frustrates me how people look at American car culture and scoff at it. Formula One racing is more exciting and more dynamic to watch, but the history of it is not as interesting: a bunch of rich assholes who made specialized cars for racing. And to this day, it is still a rich man's sport. Whereas Nascar was about a bunch of so-called hicks in the backwoods who used some basic hand tools and trial and error to make a junker into a racecar.

Even Biden supporters want this motherfucker gone like what are we doing here?

There wasn’t one in my state, fuck face.

The DNC purposely did not have any debates between any of the democratic nominees with the intent to squash any competition. Thus any challenger was unlikely to outraise Biden or compete with the sitting fucking president on TV time. Biden was never challenged within his own party. They deliberately manufactured this outcome by suppressing any type of opposition.

do you ever look back at a childhood memory and think that it should have by all rights become a significant theme in your life and you wonder why the fuck those things/people haven’t come back around yet and then remember that your life isn’t a perfectly plotted out novel?

Aww shucks. It’s almost like I asked for this opportunity. (I did. Thank you for indulging me, @laughingthelaughiest) General warnings for the description of things involved with terrible car accidents – aka screeching metal and lots of blood. Happy ending though, I promise! Nobody died.

I am six years old. My father plows snow in the winter months, which means that bolted onto the front of his work truck is a very heavy snow plow that – when not in use – rests primly about a foot above the ground like a lady lifting up her skirts as she steps over a puddle.

“Hey kiddo, do you want to come to work with me?” my dad asks one day during a relatively minor* snowstorm.

(* minor my ass)

Because there was nothing more exciting to me at this time in my life than sitting in a warm truck and watching what is essentially a large metal trough push tons of snow from one end of a parking lot to the other, I practically yell, “WHY YES DAD, THAT SOUNDS GREAT!!!” and we get in the truck.

Only instead of arriving at our intended destination, we encounter a car coming from the opposite direction that spins out on a patch of black ice and manages to hurtle broadside at full speed into the plow.

I am pretty much just flung forwards, and terrible things happen to my face when my body continues on its general trajectory towards the windshield. Thanks, momentum!

Luckily (and novel-like), there was a nurse a couple of cars behind us who stopped to see if everyone was okay. She opened my door to find that I was very clearly not okay, and while my father did his best to staunch the blood that was streaming down my face, she tasked herself with keeping me conscious until the paramedics arrived.

Being six and probably concussed, she didn’t talk to me about anything complicated. I did not know who the president was. I sure as heck couldn’t have told you the date. But my favorite subject in school? I know that! Reading! My favorite color? Yellow! My favorite animal? GIRAFFES.

It’s important at this stage to mention that this car accident occurred on a street where people lived, and there had been a group of boys playing in the snow two houses up from where the truck stopped. Boys + crushed cars + blood = apparently just riveting, because a couple of them were staring at me/the vehicles from a couple yards away.

At my presumably slurred but very enthusiastic response of “GIRAFFES!” one of these boys split off from the rest and hoofed it through the snow towards his house. I was too focused on wanting to sleep and the nurse not letting me to notice this, but it for sure happened. As you will see.

Several sirens later, I am loaded into the ambulance wearing a neck brace and what feels like all of the gauze on planet Earth. My dad climbs in next to me, and the paramedic is just about to shut the doors when there’s a very small voice from outside. 

We are all as so:

So the paramedic says “Yes, of course. She’ll love it!” or something equally as efficient because I am still technically quite injured and they really do need to get to the hospital at some point. The boy leaves, the door is shut, the paramedic sets something on the stretcher next to me.

[pause for dramatic effect]

We tried to find the kid who gave him to me, but nothing ever came of it. In the back of my fully healed head I’m still waiting for the novel that must be my life to shoehorn that boy back into the plot. Where are you, giraffe man? I have to thank you for the best gift I’ve ever been given.