“omg I love that show!” yeah me too it makes up 34% of my core personality. unfortunately i can’t discuss it in public without having a meltdown

we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies

Having dating apps is pointless. The love of your life is on Tumblr

Me Giving a Pressed Conference: our advocacy for the disabled must include the addict, the imperfect victim, those we despise; the right to autonomy and life cannot devolve into a popularity contest

Reporter I Hate (Not Sexual Tension): Does that include all the attendees of the Bored Ape NFT event who went blind

Me: *Blood streaming from my nostrils and eyes* david, it includes everyone

I don’t wanna get involved in the drama I just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened

#His coming out arc was hilarious

Kinda crazy how speaking English is almost a form of literacy without which your access to the relevant scientific and sociopolitical conversations of our time is seriously limited.... Thank God I started reading yaoi fanfiction on American websites at age 14

Shrinkflation

So, I found out a fun fact this last weekend!

Every state has a Department of Weights and Measures. One of their jobs is to make sure that companies are actually selling you the quantities they claim they're selling. For example, this is the department which tests gas pumps and makes sure they're really pumping out a gallon of gas when they charge you for a gallon of gas.

So....

If you happen to, just as an example, notice that your 1lb (16 ounce) box of San Giorgio spaghetti actually only has 10oz of noodles, and you weigh your other boxes of spaghetti to discover they run from 10 to 14 ounces but never the full pound they're supposed to have, and that's why you never seem to have enough pasta for leftovers the next day, then you can report that to the Department of Weights and Measures.

They will want to know where you bought the item, and then will investigate whether the store or the manufacturer is routinely shorting customers. If they do, they will issue a fine to the offending party, you will be eligible for a refund, and under some circumstances lawsuits may follow.

Now, I don't know the outcome of the complaint I just initiated, but they did not want to know specific receipts or times of purchase. Which is good for me as I didn't keep any of those things, at the time I just said "Wow, fuck San Giorgio" and switched brands. But this is still enough to get an inspector out.

Not all construction work is equally enjoyable. For example, enlarging a drilled hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together is riveting.

this joke would get the exact same reaction in 1870 that it gets in 2021 and I love that about it

#Oh she clocked them

Hello my dear Customers~

Today should be the day you ALL buy a Thneed!!

I’m straight but this gif makes my prostate clench it kinda hurts 

This feels like finding a vintage grenade in a box and pulling the pin

And reblogging it is calling out “Hey, come here and look at this!” to your followers before you toss it to a friend.

talking to people while holding a beverage is awesome because you don't have to know what to do with your hands and when you don't know what to do with your face you can just take a sip

you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy

this is what microwaving leftover pizza feels like

stop it i was trying to be gothic

“Surge in antisemitism”

I have worn my magen david and not had a single comment, from anyone— not Muslims, Christians, people wearing kufiyahs. I’ve been to protests and demonstrations, and never been more welcomed or felt so safe. Palestinians have hugged me, have shared food with me. Leftists have constantly held space to listen and to learn, to make room for changes and growth.

But you know what I have experienced? Jewish Zionists screaming at me, calling me shameful, Jewish Zionists on the internet debating the legitimacy of my Jewishness. I’ve been called kapo, k*ke and told I’d be r*ped by Hamas. I’ve had the most vitriol from ZIONISTS. I’ve faced the most antisemitism from Zionist Jews, and that makes me so inconceivably sad. I’ve been looked down upon and cursed at.

Zionism is not Judaism. Never will be.