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How would you die in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?
Bullet to the head
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Continuation of my sirens post, and a friendly reminder that batman isn’t on the side of the law, he’s on the side of justice
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if any of you happen to be rich & generous please buy me a hot air balloon and a fog machine. in return ill give you this picture:
(please do not just right click and save the picture, we’re working on the honour system here)
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tiktokmuseum
he was in the fridge!!!
ovbiously this person has done so much research and cares about their tortoise so much but.... the mf idea of having a live tortoise in a TUPPERWARE?! IN MY FRIDGE?? WITH ME FOOD? ahahahaha
the concept of opening someone else’s fridge only to find a WHOLE ASS TORTOISE in there... idk if I’d ever recover
@esperantoauthor when the food doesn’t come to Tesla, Tesla comes to the food
Reminds me of when I accidentally stumbled across this photo for the first time...
If this was strictly a turtle fridge I'd be less alarmed, it's the presence of mayo, wine, milk, etc that makes it so startling XD
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woosh
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City in Paint by Mateusz Urbanowicz
absolutely lost in the sauce
maffypop reblogged
If I do something good because it makes me feel like a good person, is that technically selfish?
no, only if you're choosing to make others suffer to make yourself feel good
enjoying making other people happy is a great thing
There is a Jewish story about a wealthy man who came to his rabbi and said “I have decided to build an orphanage, can you put me in touch with the relevant people”
The rabbi was delighted to do it, and introduced the man to some charities. After a few weeks, the man came back to the rabbi.
“I have decided not to build the orphanage,” he said. “I realised that I was only doing it because I wanted to be admired as a philanthropist, my motives were selfish.”
The rabbi answered, “do you think the orphans will care what your motives were? Build the orphanage!”
I think there was a similar anecdote about Abraham Lincoln and a pig, but from the other direction
The Fable of Abraham Lincoln and the Pigs
Once Lincoln was traveling in a mud-wagon coach along a swampy, rural area. His fellow passenger was his good friend and US Senator Edward Dickinson Baker, who later lost his life in the Battle of Ball’s Bluff at the onset of the American Civil War.
While they were conversing in the mud-wagon coach, Lincoln remarked to Baker that in doing good and evil, all people are motivated by selfishness. Just as Baker challenged Lincoln’s assertion, their coach crossed a rickety bridge over a slough (a large swampy marsh.)
Abruptly, Lincoln and Baker glimpsed a mother pig making a terrible squeal because her piglets were stuck in the swamp, couldn’t get out, and were in danger of drowning.
As their coach started to head away, Lincoln yelled, “Driver, can’t you stop just a moment?” The driver replied, “If the other fellow don’t object.”
With Baker’s approval, Lincoln jumped out of the wagon, ran to the slough, lifted the piglets one by one out of the swamp, and carried them to the dry bank of the swamp.
When Lincoln returned to the coach, Baker remarked, “Now, Abe, where does selfishness come in this little episode?”
Lincoln replied, “Why, bless your soul, Ed, that was the very essence of selfishness. I would have had no peace of mind all day had I gone on and left that suffering old sow worrying over those pigs. I did it to get peace of mind, don’t you see?”
anyway I think the idea that good needs to be externally motivated and that the giver isn’t allowed to benefit from it, even inside their own head, is extremely puritanical and nature and can be discarded
Listen! The fact that other people's suffering affects us and makes us feel bad is a sign that we as a species ARE pretty good actually. Your good deeds are not "selfishly motivated"; they are motivated by 5-6 million years of evolutionary pressure towards caring for our fellow humans. Doing good things for others because it makes you feel happy and not doing cruel or neglectful things to others because that would make you feel sad is not a sign you are selfish. Its a sign you are a good person, because those structures that do those things still exist in your brain, like they are supposed to.
Fun Fact! Two Weeks Notice is not a REQUIREMENT in any sense of the word. It’s a nicety. A polite gesture, and only polite for the MANAGEMENT because THEY want time to find someone to replace you. They cannot withhold your last paycheck if you refuse to give two weeks notice, and they cannot force you to work the two weeks. Additionally, they cannot report that to any future employers who call them regarding your work history. In fact, they’re not allowed to comment on your performance AT ALL! Legally they are only allowed to confirm that you were an employee during the dates you list - anything else and they open themselves up to civil lawsuits in which they can be sued for damages for any number of reasons. So fuck Two Weeks Notice. if you work for a fucked company, they deserve to get fucked in return.
they dont pay me enough to witness this shit
maffypop reblogged
*tosses these out like corn in a chicken pen* pspspspspspspsps
infamouswhorror
i can’t even choose a favorite one omfg
what are femails