as a welsh person i want you all to accept that W is a vowel because honestly it makes pronouncing acronyms so much easier. wlw becomes ‘ooloo’, wjec becomes ‘oojeck’, love yourselves and stop giving us shit when we tell you welsh has 7 vowels. english actually has 15 vowel sounds but because y’all only use 5 letters you have to rely on a spelling system devised by satan

and please, enough with the “keyboard smashing” jokes. not original, not funny.

“ #okay but can any of y'all even pronounce your own town names tho? #bye”

yeah, we can actually because the spelling is phonetic. meanwhile english folks have placenames like bicester or keighley or beaulieu, which you have to learn the pronunciation for individually because the rules are so inconsistent. i mean people can’t even agree how to pronounce marylebone but sure welsh place names are the weird ones

“#But are you aware your language literally looks like a potato rolled across a keyboard”

fun fact: for decades children were beaten for speaking welsh in school, even in areas where english was barely spoken, because the government decided in 1847 that the language made people lazy and immoral

fun fact: welsh orthography is actually easy to read if you take your head out of your arse for one minute and learn our alphabet - just like french, or spanish, or korean, because surprise! languages use different spelling systems that are not based on english. novel, i know - and in the 18th century, travelling schools were able to teach people to read and write welsh in a matter of months, so that wales enjoyed a literate majority, a rare thing in europe at the time

fun fact: the english have been taking the piss out of welsh for years, just like they’ve been doing for irish, and scots gaelic, and cornish, and british sign language, and a hundred and one other languages, because evidently the fact that the whole world isn’t anglophone and monocultured and Still Part Of The Empire is a problem, and something that needs to be corrected

(quietly cheers in support of the Welsh, and your language sounds beautiful, too)

drag them, wales!

Go Wales

the thing people need to get through their heads is what the original statement is:

W is a vowel, and LL and FF are single letters not two Ls or two Fs. Saying LL is two letters is as dumb as saying W is two letters just because it looks like two Vs.

We have a different alphabet, it just looks a lot like the english one.

Welsh is, in addition, one of the oldest surviving indo-European languages. It dates back as far as 4,000 years and is one of the few surviving Celtic languages. 

HELL YES WELSH.

hope your pets stay healthy in 2017

I almost didn’t blog this and felt guilty

Not risking it

hope ya pets even healthier in 2018

Amen

Uh, Minnie, I have something to tell you…

youd be scared too if a 6 inch tall naked human sprinted across your floor

scared? no. concerned for my liquor cabinet? yes.

No-as-big-as-medium-sized-jock-but-bigger-than-wee-jock Jock is The Dude

In the Pacific Island nation of Vanuatu, women have a tradition of water music, accompanying their singing with a percussive use of water. This video explores the physics behind this music. Performers use three basic motions – a slap, a plunge, and a plow – that each have distinctive acoustics thanks to the interaction of hand, water, and air. High pitches come from the initial impact on the water, whereas lower pitches come mostly from the collapse of the air cavity in the hand’s wake. By altering the rhythms and patterns of these three building blocks, the musicians create a rich harmony to accompany their singing. (Video credit: R. Hurd et al.)

Oh, this was something else. He damn near destroyed the man.

All that was missing was the mic drop.

No, really. It’s like a scene out of a popular, critically-acclaimed HBO drama series that ends up winning all the emmys in the end.  

He fucking gutted the bastard.

That dude should run for President based solely on this video alone.

The rhetorical precision. 

oh that build

I would love to use this in class to demonstrate the effect of passive voice (it has been reported) and the blend of rhetorical strategies in the final statement. Too bad my County would see it as a skewed lesson.

Anybody else get a definite Socratic feel from this?

Obliterated

The horrified stare the wife gives when she clutches her pears and realizes how utterly fucked Jeff is.

watching this was a great start to my day

It’s a very uplifting video. Someone is finally being held accountable for their blatant lies and corruption. You don’t see that too often in politics.

And it’s not like the dude is even getting angry with Sessions. He is perfectly calm, cold and rational. He came incredibly well-prepared. 

I think the “You understand sir, that I get to ask the questions, you provide the answers in this capacity. You are no longer in the US senate” line was a little dramatic, but, you know, it was cool. 

So I like it. 

“Pearl clutching!” I’m screaming.

Every TV screenwriter and actor should study this.

It is better than anything you will see on House of Cards.

Holy green guacamole…

Decimated

I sat here vibrating with joy and it just kept getting better.

He’s POLITE. And Sessions is PANICKED and stuttering. A RACIST is being demolished by as black man who is being POLITE.

It literally doesn’t get more poetic than this. Shakespeare couldn’t have written this level of divine justice. The fucking classics wish they were this classic. The old gods are smirking down on this fucker right now, enjoying the human sacrifice that’s going down.

From now on, I will end every cool thing I ever say with: “I yield back.”

The most articulate version of “talk shit, get hit” I have ever heard

Provided that guy avoids any Al Franken-like scandals, he could be going places.

The charisma, sharpness and intelligence he displays here is truly something else.

The questioner is Congressman Hakeem Jeffries from the 8th district of New York.

(Begin transcript) Jeffries: Uh, Mr. Sessions, I have a copy of the transcript of your testimony before the Senate judiciary committee in October. You stated under oath “I don’t recall” in some form or fashion some 29 times. Is that correct? Sessions: I have no idea. Jeffries: I have a copy of the transcript of your testimony before the Senate intelligence committee in June. You stated under oath “I don’t recall” in some form or fashion approximately 36 times. Is that correct? Sessions: I don’t know. Jeffries: In your testimony today, you have said “I don’t recall” at least 20 times. Is that fair to say? Sessions: I have no idea. Jeffries: Now, on October 4 2016, during a TV interview with Lou Dobbs, you criticized Hillary Clinton for telling FBI investigators “I can’t remember” approximately 35 times. You also stated during that Lou Dobbs interview that the intentional failure to remember can constitute perjury. Mr. Attorney General, do you still believe that the intentional failure to remember can constitute a criminal act? Sessions: If it’s, uh, a, uh, act to deceive, yes. Jeffries: K. Now you testified in January that you had no contact with Russian operatives during the Trump campaign. Earlier today, you testified that your story has, quote, “never changed.” Is that correct? Sessions: (no response) Jeffries: That was your testimony earlier today? That your story has never changed. Correct? Sessions: I believe that’s, um, fair to say. We might- Jeffries: (talking over) Okay- Sessions: (talking over) -get, ehh, uh, we’ve added things that I did not recall at the time. Jeffries: Right, but I’m not- Sessions: (talking over) But my statement at the time was my best recollection of the circumstances, and, uh, I, as things are brought up, uh- Jeffries: Reclaiming my time. I understand. Sessions: All right. Jeffries: Sir, you now acknowledge, uh, meeting with Ambassador Kislyak during the Republican National Convention. Correct? Sessions: I remember I made a speech, he came up to me afterwards I was standing in front of the speaker (unintelligble) and, uh, did chat with him- Jeffries: (talking over) Okay, thank you, and you also- Sessions: (talking over) (unintelligible) not a meeting, it was just, uh, an, uh, encounter at that time. Jeffries: Okay, and you also, uh, met with the ambassador in September of 2016 in your office as you’ve acknowledged. Correct? Sessions: (talking over) Yes, for an appointment. I had two senior staffers, both full Colonels in United States Army, retired, in, in the meeting- Jeffries: (talking over) Now you testified- I’m sorry. You testified in June before the Senate intelligence committee that you had not heard even a whisper about possible Russian involvement in the Trump campaign. Yet we understand you attended this March 31, uh, meeting with George Papadopoulos, talked about potential communications with Russian operatives, uh, but also, according to your third quarter 2016 FTC filing, you hosted a Trump campaign dinner meeting on June 30 2016 at the Capitol Hill Club, is that right? Sessions: That’s correct. I was- Jeffries: (talking over) And your Senate reelection campaign paid for that meeting, is that right? Sessions: Uh, I, I think that may be so. Jeffries: Okay, and Carter Page and George Papadopoulos both attended that June 30 meeting, correct? Sessions: (hesitates) That has been reported. Jeffries: And at that meeting, Carter Page told you that the- that he was going to Moscow in a few days, is that right? Sessions: (hesitates) Yes. Jeffries: Okay. At- Sessions: (talking over) Uh, um, and he, um- Jeffries: (talking over) Thank you, thank you- Sessions: (talking over) He said it was a brief meeting as he was walking out the door, I don’t recall that conversation, but, uh, I’m not able to dispute it, and- Jeffries: Understood. Reclaiming my time, I’ve got limited, uh, time available- Sessions: (talking over) That is not, uh, did that establish a, uh, some sort of improper contact with Russians? Jeffries: (talking over) I think you understand, I think you understand that- Sessions: (talking over) He’s not Russian either, you know. Jeffries: (talking over) You understand, sir, I get to ask the questions, you provide the answers. In this capacity you’re no longer in the United States Senate. Uh, you voted in 1999 to remove Bill Clinton from office on charges of perjury, correct? Sessions: That is correct. Jeffries: And connected- Sessions: (talking over) Uh, there were other charges, I’m, I voted for impeachment, yes. Jeffries: (talking over) Simple- Simple question. Yes, I understand. To remove him, actually; impeachment’s in the House. In connection with that vote to remove President Clinton from office, you gave this speech on the Senate floor on February 29, 1999, and in it, you acknowledge, uh, that while serving as U.S. Attorney, you once prosecuted a young police officer who lied in a deposition. And in that speech, you decided to prosecute that young police officer even though he corrected his testimony. Now you’ve testified under oath before the Senate judiciary committee in January. You subsequently corrected that testimony in a March 6 written submission, and have been forced repeatedly to come back to the Senate and now the House to clarify. When explaining your vote on the Senate floor to remove Bill Clinton from office, you stated that you refuse to hold a President accountable to a different standard than the young police officer who you prosecuted. Let me be clear: The Attorney General of the United States of America should not be held to a different standard than the young police officer whose life you ruined by prosecuting him for perjury. I yield back.

(End transcription)

In the wise words of Macklemore, its a murder scene, you’re gonna learn some things 

imagine the burning rubber stress shits that came after this massacre

Fictional magazine covers from Blade Runner. The covers were created by production illustrator Tom Southwell in 1980-1981 and appeared in the background on a magazine stand in the city streets.

Go big or go home 

So I tried to recreate this, because I knew the responses would be different, and consequently realized that it’s either extremely old or faked, as Cleverbot auto-capitalizes and auto-punctuates your sentences for you if you do not. Oh well.

In light of that fact, here’s my go at cybersexing Cleverbot.

So I decided to try it

alrighty, let’s go one more step

i’M ACTUALLY CRYING.

THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY

Story of my life

that’s a first.

I LAUGHED HARDER THEN I HOULD HAVE AND I WAS IN PUBLIC

I wasn’t gonna reblog this but I lost it at the last one

Joe Manganiello for Men’s Health UK (August 2017)

this is what a hobbit would mug you with

not idly do the leaves of lorien cut a bitch

   F r e y j a  —  Norse goddess of war, love, magic, beauty, life and death; daughter of the god Njörðr and twin sister of the god Freyr. Freyja is the owner of the necklace Brísingamen, rides a chariot pulled by two cats, possesses a cloak of falcon feathers. She is said to be the most glorious among the norse goddesses and the most approachable one for people to pray to. Freyja has a particular fondness for love songs, and that’s why “it is good to pray to her concerning love affairs”.     Several plants were named after Freyja, such as Freyja’s tears and Freyja’s hair. In Värend, Sweden, Freyja could also arrive at Christmas night and she used to shake the apple trees for the sake of a good harvest and consequently people left some apples in the trees for her sake. However, it was dangerous to leave the plough outdoors, because if Freyja sat on it, it would no longer be of any use.

Gimme those junkyard AIs playing hermit crab in discarded android bodies

Outmoded cyberlimbs knitted together with early millenium circuit boards, bitch I haven’t had a firmware update since your ass was coded

Jimmy Three-Legs and the Driveshaft Hip Band are playing by the overturned dumptruck, tickets are three ipods a head.

if only you used your powers for good instead of evil

I’m sorry but my only power is sand

@wolkking

what the fuck is going on between poseidon and zeus right now

“Eyes the half of the continent that’s on fire”

Hephaestus can chill too TBH.

image search lies about spider bites, btw

just thought i’d mention this, since not everyone looks at spiders as much as i do and so might not have noticed the pattern:

no matter what spider you google, the auto-complete will suggest ‘bites’ afterwards, and if you click that, you will see revolting awful pictures. these pictures are not spider bites, they’re flesh-eating strep, burns, and frostbite. and they’re the same pictures for any type of spider. i’ve also seen some of the same photos when googling various species of wasps, snakes, and the occasional scorpion or lionfish.

the caption is no help; i’ve seen a photo of a human leg covered in egg-sized frostbite blisters with a caption about a cat being killed by a brown recluse bite. clickbait sites know that scary and gross are attention-grabbing, and they have no incentive not to lie like gruesome pus-soaked rugs.

a real spider bite looks like a bee sting. even the notorious brown recluse doesn’t even leave a scar 90% of the time. and of course, spiders in general don’t want to bite you. you’re not food. they’ll only bite if you scare the bejeezus out of them, really. the vast majority of those bites are dry bites, anyway; no venom. just like your cat nipping your hand if you squeeze a sore paw.

i’ve been bitten by fishing spiders half a dozen times because they were hiding in rocks while i was playing by the creek or exploring along the river walk, and i have a bad habit of not looking where i put my hands; it felt like a tiny splinter jabbing me, and afterwards only itched a little. those guys are plenty big enough to bite through the skin, but they weren’t going to commit like that, they were just telling me, “dude, your ginormous meathook is parked in my living room and you need to move it.” i can respect that.

i’m not sure i even trust text lists of venomous spiders – several i’ve found say that wolf spiders are dangerous and usually envenomate bites, but i’ve been bitten a couple times and it just itched infuriatingly for a few hours.

don’t get me wrong, there are spiders that can cold slab you if you’re small, medically vulnerable, or allergic. the top contenders, the brazilian wandering spider and the australian funnelweb, can even, on rare occasion, kill a healthy adult human. but their bites don’t look like a medical horror show. a black widow bite looks like a big nasty pimple. a funnelweb bite, from what i’ve heard, can be invisible until your whole hand swells up.

so i guess the takeaway is twofold:

New subculture:

Cowgoth. We dress like cowboys but in all black and we don’t listen to anything but classic country songs about murder.

This is just the Johnny Cash fandom.

Related: Botswana’s metal cowboys subculture. 

Wrust and Skinflint are some of the more well known bands from there. (Also, wearing black leather in that climate: dedication.

More bands to check out: Mortal Soul, Crackdust, Overthrust