donald duck homophobic moments

realizing that i was attracted to women was very easy. realizing that i wasn’t attracted to men was very difficult.

okay, i don’t hate kids. i think they’re sort of funny. i like that you can talk to them like an adult and they’ll make sounds like they understand. i taught one kid “phosphorescence” and he looked at me and said, “they could just call it glowing if it means something that glows.” the kid undid the entire science community in one sentence.

but i hate kids.

or really, i hate how they’ve always been expected from me.

when i was five i was given “babies.” i hated the hardness of dolls, disposed of them for dramatic stories between stuffed animals. i knew how to wrap, feed, and care for a baby before i could spell my last name. when i was nine i was already “watching the kids”. i was only four years older than my cousins were. i wanted to go out and play. instead i was expected to have responsibility. by the time i was thirteen all of my friends had told me about how many children they were going to have in their twenties. 

my hips were “child-bearing” hips. my brother was a scientist, or a fireman, or a steamroller. i was going to make a good housewife, or mom, or nanny, or mom, or mom, or mom.

and when my body hurt, i was told it wasn’t really my body, not really, it belonged to my future children. i couldn’t cut or snip or tie anything; i was trapped by the potential energy that hung above me. a boulder, threatening. i couldn’t get tattoos, because what would i tell my children? i couldn’t kiss a girl, because what would i tell the children? i couldn’t be risky or wild or anything but a lady, because what about the children?

and when i said “i don’t want children” - not biologically, at least, not when cancer and depression and a whole other host of terrible things lives inside me - do you know what they said? “it’ll change, wait and see” “it’s not bad” “you’ll get used to it” “when you meet the right man” “you don’t want to be lonely”.

i don’t hate kids. i’m great with them. 

but then i’m told again that my life will be forfeit to them - something in me snaps angry. “wait until you have kids” “you should travel before you have children” “you’ll be more happy.” 

i hate kids! i’ve snarled. i don’t mean it at all. but god. please, leave me alone. i don’t want to be a biological mom. 

it’s like we’re born with a uterus and told “this is your whole life. your singular purpose. your job.” 

i want to be my own purpose. not here for the sake of passing genes on.

This sums up everything I’ve ever felt about societal expectation of motherhood.

Заказчик не просто доволен. Он поражен….

The customer is not just satisfied. He is amazed ….

but it only works if 4 people are having sex lol

how many hands you got

two? don’t see how that’s relevant

allow me illustrate you

that’s still four people

i truly can’t make this any clearer

will smith isn’t gay. he has a wife and three beautiful, talented children

don’t know what you’re on about. will smith and slightly wider blue will smith have been married for years. they’re a hollywood love story

I can’t believe this post predicted the live action Aladdin genie

If we lose tumblr how will we ever replace these posts in which every reply feels like a punch in the face

Never let your feelings get too deep, people change all the time

!!

stability is overrated…. not crying in public transport is boring

excessive blush is the new romantic love

The first time a straight person was right

he honks when he want something! ___ (Doby Cat on youtube)

I want to be this big rat on the warm cloths :(

this benevolent alien is living their best life

I just laughed really hard at this and then thought about how I’d try to explain this kind of absurd collaborative humor to my grandma and realized we have absolutely developed a new language online. 

last semester i was at a party and i checked my phone for the time and this guy took a glance at my lock screen over my shoulder and said “is that naruto?” and my drunk ass turned around and said “you know him?”