Demisexuality vs. The World

The definition of demisexuality: not experiencing sexual attraction without a strong emotional bond.

The world: That’s what regular people do.

Reality: What allosexuals do is find someone sexually attractive and get to know the person, most likely via dating for a relative amount of time, to determine if they’re worth a relationship and/or having sex with. Thus, the results determine the action, not the attraction, which was already there.

For a demisexual, the results of interactions with a potential partner determine the attraction, which was not there already. So things like flirting aren’t really going to get our attention because we haven’t established a sexual attraction for the flirter.

There’s a “but” coming:

Even if a demisexual happens to develop a strong enough bond with another person, it doesn’t necessarily mean they will become sexually attracted to them, but they might be more open to intimacy with them.

Personally, unless we have had an honest, engaging conversation that makes me interested in seeing you more often, I won’t say yes to a date, even if I find you aesthetically attractive; and more often than not, I will be turned off if the conversation swings toward my body or sex. First impressions reveal first intentions.

Fuck Pigeons by Felicia Chiao

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by Xergion

This is true! The zoo where I volunteer (the illustrious Columbus Zoo & Aquarium) was one of the pioneers of this program.

Our zoo is known for raising cheetah cubs. Cheetahs have a terrible infant mortality rate and cubs are often rejected, so we get a lot of cubs to raise from all over the country (other zoos and sanctuaries, mostly).

The cubs are placed with a puppy friend when they are wee and small, so they grow up together like littermates. They play together, wrestle, and the dogs (yellow Labs) are so calm, friendly and well-socialized that the cheetahs take behavioral cues from them. When they meet new people, or go into new situations (which they often do, as ambassador animals for cheetah conservation), they check out if their dog friend is feeling chill - which he is - and then they know it’s okay for them to be chill, too.

Basically the dog is a service animal for them.

The cats need their dog friends less and less as they get older and more comfortable, but they still often hang out as grownups.

Our zoo does cheetah runs, where the cheetahs get to chase a lure and show off their speed. Often they’ll have one of the cheetahs run (we have like twelve cheetah), and then they’ll have one of the dogs do the run to show how much faster the cats are. People get a kick out of that. The dogs…let’s just say they try their best.

Omg I’m crying, this is so beautiful. 😭

https://www.instagram.com/p/BpnCZ1JhPbz/

kiki & jiji

Reading this in September

Ellie, it’s October

GODDAMMIT

Oh, honey, we’re well into October