badussy

The police pull my lifeless body from a lake but I’m wearing the funniest hat they’ve ever seen and they can’t stop laughing and keep dropping me back into the water

lawyer walks into the court room with their briefcase but it's this

how y’all feelin

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

serious question: can anyone else see this post? am I hallucinating?

no vine is better than this 

love this incomprehensible comment on that vid I just reblogged

um

Now that you mention it…

Me

Boy I forgot to add da damn post

We not even trying no more here

"id like a hamburger..........................with cheese" well you're getting staples

conversation with my surgeon after I hit my head on a windowsill

sure

id be the worst victorian orphan. I wont eat gruel because I hate the texture and I couldnt clean a chimney because I can't work without music