i dreamt about you for 3 years. sounds kind of lame, but it was all so, innocent. i remember most of them. I liked to think you were kind of thinking about me maybe. I knew the decision I made was an awful one. I knew the whole time I was setting myself up for failure. I knew my heart wasnt in it, but I got stuck so quick and I didnt know how to do it alone. I thought about you every day. The way you treated me, gentle, kind, intuitive. I regret a lot of things in that relationship, and I think I could have been more compassionate towards you. I think I just knew from the start, if there was such a thing as a soul mate, it was you. You made me want to be better for myself, and you had this sort of passion and drive for your hobbies that made me look at myself the way I looked at you. I loved you, and I loved me. You showed me this light in my soul that I have never felt before. All my favorite songs, sung me to this euphoric love that made me question if I was actually crazy. I still remember the way the air smelt around you. The way the trees sounded. The loud highway across the balcony where I chainsmoked every day contemplating how I got so lucky. I used to think about all the things I wish I could say to you, but as I am free now to write what I please, the words have left me. I just want you to know that I never fucking stopped thinking about you. 3 years, and you were always lingering. I always hoped you found your happiness. That you found your sleep, and comfort. I wish I could have been better for you, but you came into my life for a reason, and I think that was to show me, how well I could be loved. You are imprinted on my heart and soul forever, and I will never ever stop caring about you. I love you always and forever, no matter where our paths go.
