i want 2 believe

I’m not okay

(from ask polly)

[ID: Three paragraphs of black on white text that reads,

“When you carry around a suspicion that there’s something sort of embarrassing or pathetic about you, you find ways to project that shame onto completely innocuous things. You find ways to tell yourself that everyone is laughing at you behind your back somewhere, possibly at a party where they are serving beautiful tasty drinks but you weren’t invited. You’re too old now. You’re no longer exciting or important. You don’t matter. You never really did.

Shame creates imaginary worlds inside your head. This haunted house you’re creating is forged from your shame. No one else can see it, so you keep trying to describe it to them. You find ways to say, “You don’t want any part of this mess. I’m mediocre, aging rapidly, and poor. Do yourself a favor and leave me behind.” You want to be left behind, though. That way, no one bears witness to what you’ve become.

“You can be better than this,” my shame whispers in my ear. “You need to try harder. You need to hide the scary things you carry around. You need to act like you’ve arrived, even though you’re so inadequate and broken that you never will.”“ End ID.]

Wait, it got better.

He does this a lot, to my deep surprise in undergrad:

For reference, the reason nobody likes this book and you can press tofu with it is that it’s about 1600 pages long.

It’s also, by all accounts, the origin of Cousin Throckmorton

You know, it makes perfect sense that the guy who would amuse himself by going around Twitter as above would also have come up with the skateboarding cousin Throckmorton for a word problem.

Like it totally follows.

i regret to inform there may be some casualties. unrelated

I was about to reblog this, and then I saw the picture and I got the joke, in that order.

like this is just what a normal D&D session is like

If I hadn’t seen this caption I literally would never have gotten the joke. This is just a perfect representation of a normal D&D session. 

With 7 players? This is going incredibly well.

Amphibian migration season is coming this spring. Remember to drive slow!

This info needs to be out there, it turned the tide against cryptocurrency in the public eye it might fit so too

View on Twitter

[image id:

a tweet from Fairy Tale Fragments that reads: Once upon a time, there was a blacksmith who had a glass slipper.

a tweet thread in a series of images from Olivia Waite

I already love him. Hands so used to metal and sandpaper, and here is this fragile, delicate thing. He balances it between the calluses of his fingertips,  turning it back and forth, watching it turn firelight into rainbows.

But it’s only one of a pair.

He goes to everyone in the village, asking: is this yours? Some laugh, some sneer. A few try it on, but it’s always too big or too small.

Finally, someone tells him a name, and points to a house a little ways into the wood.

Someone strange lives here, they’ve always said. A witch, copper f skin, who prays to foreign gods. But the blacksmith respects copper. He knocks on the door.

The witch answers. Firelight limns her. Her arms are bare, as muscular as his. Silently he holds up the slipper.

“Ah,” says the witch. Is that a flash of sadness in her dark eyes? He hopes not. He can’t keep his eyes off the line of her mouth, the proud tilt of her nose. He wishes he’d changed out of his work clothes.

“Come with me,” she says.

She takes him through a door and into a workshop, bigger than his own and full of different smells. she hands him a metal pole and says, “ Turn this until I say stop.” One the end is a glowing orb, liquid and searing hot.

His skin prickles.

But he’s a blacksmith. He’s not afraid of the heat. He spins the metal rod at her command, back and forth, while she works the hot glass with spades and paddles and surfaces he doesn’t recognize. 

Slowly, a shape forms.

Much later, they clip the glass from the rod into the witch’s waiting hands. “It needs to cool until morning,” she says, as she places it into the cupboard.

The blacksmith pulls out the other one, and sets it on the shelf beside its mate.

The witch’s long mouth twists. “If you’re looking for who could wear that, I can’t help you,” she says.

The blacksmith snorts. “Wear this? It’s a bauble. I was looking for who could make it. Something familiar, yet beautiful. Magical, yet ordinary.”

The witch looks him up and down. “I could teach you how.”

“You could – but what I want is not knowledge. It’s just…” He shifts. He’s not good with words. “I want to find someone who thinks of beauty like this. Who is strong, but careful. Who knows about fire, and fragile things.”

The witch looked at him a long, long time. “I want the same,” she said.

The blacksmith smiled. “Then I’d love to ask your name.”

Decades later, her name was carved beside his, on a single stone. Beneath it, a pair of slippers, ribbons wrapping them together.

end id.]

addendum to image description: this is by Olivia Waite, wlw romance author, and I’m off to see if any of the libraries I have a card for have any of her books:

Here's the thing about Jareth from Labyrinth right?

He's made up.

That's not necessarily the same thing as not REAL. But he, just like all her friends who show up in her room before her adventure as toys and figurines, exist in relation to her, in response to what she wanted and needed. She told the story and there he was, there he always had been. But she's a teenage girl who doesn't know what she wants yet, and Jareth kind of pays the price.

"but the king of the goblins had fallen in love with the girl, and had given her certain powers." He's an archetypal oxymoron. He's both the dastardly baby stealing villain and the royal love interest trying to relieve the heroine's suffering, Cinderella style. He's fucked either way by being both. She doesn't know if SHE wants to be the villain or the heroine until he shows up and then she decides on the heroine, so he has to sneer and menace and challenge but it's too late for him!! it's too late, The King Of The Goblins Had Fallen In Love With the Girl, he's Cinderella's prince too and he has to try, he gives her a poofy dress and takes her to fucking goblin prom, sweeps her around the room like a music box with perfect posture and room for Jesus.

But it doesn't work buddy, it can't work. You're just a story for a teen girl to grow up in, and as the villain you have to be defeated. He's so complex because his tropes contradict themselves, and he doesn't understand why he has to lose when he was only doing the job he was given. In his last scene he is pale as death with shadows under his eyes, backing away and begging for his happy ending with nonsense mishmash promises that belong to both halves of him.

"I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me." I'm sure you are, Jareth. No wonder.

I’ve never seen an animal look more like a live-action autism creature

GUYS I FINALLY FOUND THE SOURCE OF THIS IMAGE. He’s an eastern mud salamander btw

Update on my mom’s jesse pinkman obsession: she now calls breaking bad “Jesse” and will ask me “hey do you want to watch another episode of jesse and see what jesse does” i feel like he’s my fucking sibling im competing with for attention

feels like a party everyday bitch

🥘 stillstainless following

full dishwasher kind of annoying actually. release me

🔲 tupperware follow

can we all agree that handwash onlys are attention seeking? you're using the same dish soap as the rest of us but you need a sponge bath because you're too good for a shower

🍳 cast-iron following

op some people will die if they're washed with soap at all. unlike certain plastic divas dishes that claim to be "top row only" like that makes a fucking difference.

🔲 tupperware follow

can you actually fuck off

🥣 countercandy mutuals

☕ mug-shots follow

i love being on the top row like you are NOTTT using me for coffee LMAOO

🐾 dogbowl follow

dusty ass

🍴silverwarewolf following

all tucked in. in my drawer. with my polycule <3

#and these takeout chopsticks too i guess #ok

🥡 lunchb0x follow

Excited for summer break 😃 Can't wait to see what kinds of mold i'll collect this year

#ForgottenAgain #BackpackGang #LockerGang

🔁cast-iron following

anonymous asked: Why are you whining about how other dishes like to be washed when you're literally covered in spaghetti stains

tupperware answered: what if i killed myself

🥤 papercup mutuals

WASP IN ME