The world according to a middle aged midwesterner

showed this tweet today to @ohblushes and @anotherashley and obviously we had Many Thoughts on this:

- jonny owns both the sex shop and the landscaping shop. patrick owns the crematorium across the street because he looks sad and dresses in black all day and it fits his skillset

- jonny’s landscaping shop is named “bush & seed”. the sex shop is named “garden of earthly delights”

- patrick is vaguely scandalised by the sex shop but also?? maybe?? curious?? and he has no idea the hot landscaper across the street, the one who’s always in tank tops and has enormous biceps, owns it. and he eventually makes friends with jonny but still has no idea of the management of the sex shop

- patrick goes in one day and is greeted by the hot landscaper who waves at him from behind the counter and yells HEY PATRICK

- randomly grabs the closest thing to him which happens to be a tub of boy butter (yes it’s a real lube) and tries to play it super cool like ha ha, love this, it’s my favourite, holding this giant tub of boy butter

- patrick probably bolts that first time to the sounds of jonny yelling BYE PATRICK! COME BACK ON FRIDAY! WE HAVE 10% OFF EVERYTHING ON FRIDAYS!

- patrick comes back on friday

- he’s quietly browsing the shop’s extensive collection of dildos when jonny offers to help

- jonny asks a lot of questions that make patrick squirm, like “are you experienced at using these or are you new to them?” “do you prefer large dildos or would you like a smaller one that’s maybe easier to use?”

- patrick wets his lips and blinks up at jonny and quietly asks for the largest one jonny has in the shop

- jonny’s like “DONE”, shuts down his shop in 30 seconds, and ushers patrick out of the door

- patrick: um, but I asked for - ?

- jonny: you asked for the largest one in the shop and i’m going to give it to you

- patrick, very quiet: oh

“I love you Jonny, way to step up big.”

Kane vs Toews (Sep. 20)

Toews vs Kane (vs Perry) (Sep. 20)

justin dowling brings his daughter to the locker room after their game

Before this one disappears from the Blackhawks IG Story

Before this disappears from their IG Story

september 14 2020 patrick at the four feathers golf invitational

Another Blackhawks Instagram Story Gem

The 2010 Cup win intense hug is the Ultimate 1988 Moment!!

source posts: [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x]

additional posts about the hug: [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x]

And present Patrick and Jonny aren’t really expecting it when rookie Patrick arrives and after initially freaking out about, you know, literally time traveling, his immediate second reaction is to get mad af at both of them for being together and being married. And Jonny takes it hard bc he doesn’t understand why this younger version of Patrick is so upset at Jonny for just trying to make older Patrick happy. Why would he hate Jonny?

rookie patrick maybe even lashes out harder - starts picking at older patrick, being rude to him. he’s so angry. jonny never realized patrick had been this angry.

and it comes to a breaking point one day when rookie patrick yells at older patrick over something totally inconsequential, and jonny’s instincts go haywire. he’s supposed to protect patrick, but there are two patricks?!? what is he supposed to do??!?!? 

he ends up inserting himself in front of older patrick, tells the rookie to go cool off, and rookie patrick is absolutely vicious in return. it leaves jonny reeling, but his patrick doesn’t seem surprised or hurt at all. 

And Jonny is sitting there, miserable, trying to figure out when HIS Patrick was ever this angry, when he hated Jonny this much and why. It’s crushing to think there was ever a time when Patrick detested him this much. And so he says to Patrick, trying to understand why he’s so calm about all of this, “Why didn’t you ever tell me you hated me back then?”

and patrick just looks at him and says, “jon, he doesn’t hate you. he’s in love with you.”

tyler seguin, jason dickinson, and robin lehner take a knee beside ryan reaves for both anthems

vgk vs dal | 08.03.2020

In isolation my imagination has run wild and this album is the result, a collection of songs and stories that flowed like a stream of consciousness. Picking up a pen was my way of escaping into fantasy, history, and memory. I’ve told these stories to the best of my ability with all the love, wonder, and whimsy they deserve. Now it’s up to you to pass them down. folklore is out now.

📷: Beth Garrabrant