i just want to point out that if you become a mad scientist supervillain, your university WILL revoke your doctorate

do waitresses know that i love them and appreciate everything they do

i had the nicest waitress today who told me my outfit was cute and i wish i was rich cuz I would’ve tipped her so much more if I could

If you ever actually wanna help your waitress out, ask to speak to their manager before you leave and then tell the manager how awesome they are. Trust me, it makes a difference. Servers who get compliments from guests and customers get better hours, and the more you’re liked by the people who come in the more forgiving the bosses are when shit goes awry (say if you’re sick or you have a flat so you’re late, etc). Tell the manager. Do it! Aside from tipping it’s one of the best things you can do for us. Tell the manager you thought we were great. Tell the manager that we’re the reason you’re gonna come back. Talk us up! It’s a little like job security - if you tell the manager we’re the reason you’re here, they’re gonna be a lot more reluctant to let us go because then they’re losing your business, and they don’t want that. 

this is good advice, thank you 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

And managers are SO SURPRISED AND PLEASED when you ask to compliment, rather than complain.  They really listen.

also be like “Can I tell your manager how amazing you are?” so they’re not worried about what you’re going to say. be effusive. say you come for their wonderful service. 

Is somebody from the LA area willing to take in a trans girl on the streets?

UHHHHH okay i hate to make one of THESE posts but uhhh my dad kicked me out. I dont have anywhere  to go. I have no money and no shelter.I dont even have a cellphone (im posting this from a library computer?)

I dont care how long you’re willing to take me in. As long as you’re not a predator, I’m fine. I just really need some fucking help right now.

a necromancer is just a really late healer

“you’re too late, doc, he’s…he’s already dead…”

*cracks knuckles* i didnt get my medical license revoked for nothing

A man from a suburb of Chicago who opened his basement to homeless people on freezing nights last month has complied with a local government order to stop.

“These people are my friends,” the man, Greg Schiller, who has worked with the homeless community in Elgin, Ill., for several years, said in an interview with AM 560 in Chicago on Friday. “This is basically the city telling me who I can have over, who my friends can be and where we can congregate in my home.”

He called the gatherings “movie nights” and said he had offered hot drinks and snacks. At most, 15 people stayed, he said, adding that he remained up all night to supervise the gathering.

But city officials on Friday said the arrangement was unlawful and a zoning and public safety issue, as well as a property maintenance issue.

As far as I’m concerned this man is a hero and someone I wish I could strive to be.

The kakapo, New Zealand’s flightless parrot (x)

what a powerful cat

hmmm

introducing the newest cryptocurrency

1 mamma mia = $3

At least Bill Gates chilled out and gave away some money when he neared $100 billion, Jeff Bezos is just out here raking in cash and donating nothing

100 BILLION

WHAT THE FUCK

Jeff Bezos has $105 billion now lol

literally was does one do with all that money literally nobody can even spend that much money in a lifetime

If Jeff Bezos spent ten million dollars every single day it would take him 27 years to get down to his last million

People think that this is natural, that this is human nature lmao

hello darkness my old friend

“when the MD hits” - @caseylarmstrong 2018

so my uncle is a priest and apparently can’t deny when i ask him to bless something so i now have a blessed laptop, blessed loaf of bread, and blessed underwear. 

i just asked him to bless this post and he did 

This post is officially the most holy post on Tumblr.  Use it to banish sins from your dashboard.

No blessing is that strong.

wow queen of versatility

“Dad builds Ninja Warrior course for his daughter”

ANW is one of my fav shows. That dad is cool af. That little girl is boss af. Congrats all the way around!!

Go baby girl!!!💥

all her dolls and animals in the stands :)))))

Looks like great fun, get her in to athletics and it doesn’t look too dangerous!

What a good dad! <3