the saw is family

Also, because it's Tumblr I have to spell everything out. Use your own personal definition of what constitutes a major versus a minor holiday

something about shy men makes me want to eat them alive like a mantis

@utdr

somewhat horny: i have to get Fucked!

quite a bit horny: can we pretend i’m an elven prince and the necromancer’s curse turns me into a demon on the full moon and the only way to cure me is to have my Womb filled by a chivalrous knight . and can you make sure you say soem shit like ‘forsooth’ and ‘by my honor’ and stuff. mngh

hornier than anyone has ever been: i need to kiss someone and get married

hi me and my girlfriend saw you from across the part and i just wanted to tell you you're really cute and ask if we can inject you with these weird chemicals we found in a dumpster

there should be a socially acceptable way to say "im not sure what to say to that. can you say something different"

I must not mock Gen Alpha. Mocking Gen Alpha is the mind killer. Mocking Gen Alpha is the little-death that brings total generational solidarity obliteration. I will engage with Gen Alpha lovingly. I will permit them to be cringe. And when they grow up I will turn my eye to their accomplishments. Where mocking has gone there will be nothing. Only generational solidarity remains

the new kendrick song literally sounds like this

Customer: COLLEGE INSIDE JOKE DMV: BRO WHAT THE FUCK Verdict: DENIED

you can hate yourself all you want but the world is beautiful and it welcomes you

Shirt that says CONCEALED CARRY above an arrow pointing downwards

The Ice maker makes fancy ice

im at baby city. and i just took a taxi. to the shapes and colors store

a guy just put his hands over his face and disappeared. anything can happen in baby city

character in indie wholesome cozycore ghibli inspired life sim game inspired by stardew valley: i’ve been learning a lot about this seizing the means of production stuff lately, but reading all these books is so haaard when i have to do all this adulting! not to mention petting all these sweet doggos! plus my ex keeps texting me, i just got out of a crazy abusive relationship. whoa sorry am i crossing your boundaries right now? i’ll be sure to hold space for you in the future! i think we both learnt a lot about respect in this conversation

character in stardew valley: hey what’s up man