Leelu is nanobots.

Buying a car

English added by me :)

Standing in the pasta aisle eyes closed trying to picture the mouthfeel of different pasta shapes with perfect clarity in the theater of my mind

i hear a good lyric and start mentally holding up blorbos like im in the home depot paint aisle comparing swatches

i love when flowers close in the evening like good night girl i love you sleep tight

#HELLO IT IS TIME FOR MY FAVORITE FACT#which is that sometimes when the flowers close there is a little bee inside#spending the night all cozy and safe in his little nook#specifically male squash bees do this in squash flowers#look at a field of squash or pumpkins at night and there are little guys snoozing in there#this knowledge brings me such joy that i must share it with the world (tags via @scribefindegil)

most notable times of being hit on by customers:

most notable time a customer did not ask me out:

In New Horizons, if the game can't load an NPC due to their referenced model name being invalid, or for other reasons, the game will instead load a naked, unnamed Bob in their place as a failsafe. This was likely a dummy NPC used for testing reasons.

I think it's possible to play a tabletop character who truly sucks as a person and that it's possible to play a tabletop character who's very aloof but it's extremely hard to successfully play both of those in the same character. a character who's a total bastard and ALSO pushes people away gives everyone else both very little to work with and also very little reason to want to. if you're committed to playing an asswipe in a collaborative game they need to be a little bit hopelessly codependent, be it on the party or on elements of the plot. they need to have some 'the gang from always sunny' energy to them. you need to be prepared to get kind of crony with it. to swallow ur dignity a bit.

Every edgy kid's first character tbh. Do not enable them by creating a situation that forces them to cooperate, the only way they learn is by having their character die as a result of their antisocial behavior. That moment when they have to reroll a new character is like their rite of passage into becoming a real player.

I recognize that this is a common sentiment in gaming but honestly I think the best way to deal with this sort of situation is just to sit down with them as a dm outside of session, communicate about how their behavior is making running the game difficult, and brainstorm solutions for how to they can change their approach. It creates a lot more long-term goodwill between player groups!

new favorite reddit user

my main echolalias this past week.

Could a homosexual lend me, an asexual, a single use of the word flaming?

YOU have obtained:

I, a flaming asexual, need someone to please call the fire department. It is an emergency.

Perfectly executed joke, no notes

A two trick pony has been discovered

Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.

I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.

Me: I shall become his mother and gain his trust

Me talking to an animal control officer five minutes later: he is a nasty horrid little boy and I am bleeding heavily

Animal control officer on the phone: So he’s in your car with you?

Me: Um. It’s his car now and he’s very mad at me.

Second animal control officer: oh you captured him and got him in your car? He’s friendly?

Me, my right hand completely wrapped in paper towels: wouldn’t say that

Urgent Care Nurse: Wow it’s strange he managed to get you so many times.

Me: I uh. Did not let go.

You vibe as someone prone to toxic relationships

People on tumblr will just say anything huh.

Oh cmon, "he hurt me a lot cause i couldn't let go" absolutely has double interpretation.

Me, holding a cat (of unknown gender) as it repeatedly digs its little teeth deep into my flesh: Is this… too… yuri?

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brutalist candy cane