Birds and Junk

I really feel this.

Or maybe...

Dancin'

i cannot stop laughing at send no pee

I love tumblr's aging userbase so much

what's so striking to me about younger queer generations rn isn't the lack of knowledge about queer history, but the complete unwillingness to engage with it, when confronted with an identity or history they haven't heard of before they react with disgust rather than curiosity. (for example) instead of asking where the leather pride flag came from and what the leather community is and represents they immediately question the need for something like that to exist, not even willing to listen and learn from both elders and peers. this is also more broadly a problem in leftist spaces in general, being reactionary is somehow the default now, and anything that's different or unknown must be an attack and bad. really hoping y'all manage to grow out of this deeply conservative way of interacting with the world.

not now kitten, daddy's about to have a mental breakdown from seeing the prices at the grocery store

this getting 20 notes in under a minute... we need to start killing the government

Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

If I were tumblr famous this would be a smash hit

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

We have underestimated the comedic genius of the elderly when presented with technology

grossly underestimated

I FUCKING LOST MY SHIT AT WORK

Our Lady of the Damp and Rain

Look upon this mighty work! Our Lady resplendent in gold!

i learned about Tim Wong who successfully and singlehandedly repopulated the rare California Pipevine Swallowtail butterfly in San Francisco. In the past few years, he’s cultivated more than 200 pipevine plants (their only food source) and gives thousands of caterpillars to his local Botanical Garden (x)

Sometimes, people are really great.

This is also an example of picking One Thing and putting most of your Better The World efforts there. We have so many different important issues to care about and act toward, and it’s tempting to try and do a Little for Many Things - and I’m not saying that little bits of effort don’t add up! They do. But often you’ll make a bigger impact (and possibly have less compassion/activist fatigue) if you direct the majority of your efforts toward one or two things.

Are you guys happy about the "brain finishes maturing at 25" myth getting recognition are you going to be happy when you're fighting in the twitter wars and the transmasc you're arguing with goes "um you're actually harassing a 23 year old minor" and in the eyes of the british medical system he's telling the truth

Same as "autistic girls are too Mentally Incapable to be trans" was used to deny autistic people gender affirming care, "protect kids from the trans agenda" is just another goalpost that is going to be constantly moved because the goal is not to make sure you only medically transition at the "right age" but to make transition impossible by forever finding reasons you are not mentally capable of making that decision. Worse, it's literally the medical industry's textbook infantilise and pathologise a group to take agency from them play. You Actively undermine bodily autonomy, abortion access, and disability rights if you support this shit.

I uh… have some headcanons…

Omg luv this

Pokemon Heritage Post

Every time

My brother's girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it's completely free if you're in one of the "at risk" groups.

"What does that mean," he asks. "It's free if you're gay," he's told. "Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or...?" "Just put in a check mark here."

My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he's stingy as it gets. So now he's officially gay. Congrats bro.

"Doctor, give it to me straight" "You sure, there's a fee" "… Give it to me gay"

AGAB (Assigned Gay At Billing)

Fascinated by the fact that his first question was about if he'd have to prove it. I wanna know how far that man would go to save less than a dollar

Sorry, do you think 87 euros is less than a dollar

For those not sure, 87 euros is a little over 93 US dollars at the moment (Feb 2024)