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cecilia jane

@ceciliajane / ceciliajane.tumblr.com

井の中の蛙、大海を知らずk American expat in HK.
Tokyo > Suzhou, PRC > Hong Kong
Language, love, adventure, film, intersectional feminism, unlearning problematic shit, style. And a lot of flowers and heart-shaped things, probably.
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We had such a lovely party!!!! Thank you for the cake and to everyone who came to our engagement party and celebrated with us. We love you all and we are both incredibly overwhelmed with the outpouring of kindness and love from everyone and I feel very welcome in Perth! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts, friends. 🙏 ❤️👫 (at Wembley, Western Australia, Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/Br-kqzcBrhg/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=9kp3w30lz4r2

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Matt surprised me this Christmas Day with a proper vintage engagement ring...! This was his Nan’s ring (given to her by Matt’s Pop around 1950) who passed away in March of 2017, and I feel incredibly honored to have it. Matt and I agreed to get our wedding rings made next year, so it was a huge and happy surprise when Matt gave it to me today, and I’m feeling so welcome and lucky that his family wanted me to have it. 💍 ❤️ 💕 Merry Christmas! 🎄🎁 #perth #waaustralia #hotchristmas (at Bassendean, Western Australia, Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrzPHLXBCJc/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1pw4iwjfgv6ae

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Matt and I had a v good day and we’re happy to be hanging out together and having a relaxed and stress free holiday 😍🥰 Today we had a decadent lunch at Lala Rookh, walked a whole bunch, watched Christmas stuff, played Pokémon, and wrapped presents for his fam. The air is clean, the weather lovely, and I am happy to be Oz again. Happy Xmas Eve! #hotchristmas (at Yagan Square) https://www.instagram.com/p/Brxaj_yhV6B/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=czb77dbfl1rv

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Came across my old supplies and thinking about some future knitting/embroidery projects on a sickly Wednesday. Looking forward to having the space in 🇦🇺 for all of my crafty/artsy endeavors again 🧶 🧵 #embroiderypractice https://www.instagram.com/p/BrRnV-Ph5Jw/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1jj1criep1njs

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2 years ago I met a cool guy in Hong Kong who I hung out with for 2 days straight on our first date. The first evening we met, we walked around Temple Market, rode the Star Ferry, rode the Ferris Wheel, went to Lan Kwai Fong and just stood outside of 711 talking and drinking beers, and ended up on these stairs just outside of Hong Kong Park and talking until 2 am. He was sweet and unassuming and I fell for him hard and still do just about every day. I love you, Matt. Happy 2 year anniversary. ❤️❤️❤️ #hongkongpark #hongkong #anniversary (at Hong Kong Park 香港公園) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpyES2-BTAE/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=15gkx7wzy0g0r

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i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second

anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk

and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something

paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.

i say, paul.

is that a nerf gun.

yeah, says paul.

i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.

he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?

and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–

a foam dart hits me in the leg.

i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.

i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.

no dart this time. okay. sweet.

so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about it 

anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what’s all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools.

The “I won’t hesitate, bitch” vine but @ friends who don’t love themselves

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snackwizard

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

  1. never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.
  2. find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.
  3. talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore
  4. picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else
  5. if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.

… 8|

That’s some pretty good advice. I don’t know what’s left of my humor after ‘guess I’ll just die’ jokes but it’s worth a shot.

Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining

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808lien

This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.

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maramahan

Here’s a tip I picked up from a friend that’s helped me a lot — replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes

Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”

Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”

When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?

And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you AREN’T joking

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jkl-fff

This is so important

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Been keeping my nails shorter lately which I surprisingly don’t hate! Thanks for the cute mani, @jk.gladden ! 💅🏻✌️#nailart #hongkong #nails #tsimshatsui (at 悅心殿 JK Gladden) https://www.instagram.com/p/BorOEoOhTWh/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1r61n1zdsvq83

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