if i had to watch this bottle of water get cuckolded then so do you

😧😧😧😧

thottled water

it’s been fun, but i think it’s time to delete the internet forever

Hi guys! I know I keep posting corona virus content, but only because I really need you to understand how important it is to 👏stay👏 the 👏fuck 👏home!

STAY THE FUCK HOME

I’m a nurse. It is so frustrating to see people out and enjoying their time on the beach and whatnot, when I want to stay home. I dont want this. I see first hand what it does. Please. Stay home. Protect us because we cant protect ourselves by staying home.

I work at a hospital and I stay home due to the fact I assume I’ve been exposed. If I can help it I have my groceries delivered to my house. I haven’t seen family or friends in a while. I miss them. I really miss my fiancé. Please stay home and quarantine.

Boosting this for the people who wont listen.

Stay

The

Fuck

Home.

Please.

STAY THE FUCK HOME

Hey do y'all fucks remember two years ago when just before the election all these “don’t vote both parties are bad” or “vote independent!” Posts were going around and then Trump won and now two weeks before midterms there’s all these “don’t bother voting, revolution is the only way!” And “your vote isn’t gonna matter and is an ineffective way to protest” posts are going around? Yeah knock that shit right the fuck off, don’t fall for it and get your ass to the polls, we are not doing this again.

follow @isnt​ for more memes

WHAT

Pusheen is married?!?

PUSHEEN HAS BABIES?!?!?

PUSHEEN IS A GIRL???????????

Wait

Oh, look at this cute little three bedroom house! It has a garage, and a walk out basement and…what?

What IS that? Why is it in this quaint, prototypical suburban house???

That’s Bob. He’s not precisely “good” but acts as a guardian in much the same way blucifer does- so long as he has a place in the house, nothing worse than him can enter.

What’s blucifer?

The giant demon horse statue that protects the state of Colorado. He lives near the airport, killed his creator, and yes his eyes actually glow. He’s 32 feet tall.

What, and I hope you realize this is me saying this, the actual fuck.

Denver-area resident here: do not look Blucifer in the eyes.

and every time we kiss I swear I can fly

this is how disability works in america

Hold on a second kiddos this meme has many inaccuracies and I am just the person to rectify them. The insignia pictured in the left image are shoulder epaulettes of the modern American navy, and thus irrelevant to this discussion in a number of ways. First, these would be worn on the shoulder and have nothing to do with the cuff stripes that are circled. Secondly these insignia are not insignia that Cap'n Crunch, no matter his rank, would ever wear, as he is neither a modern naval officer nor an American one. His uniform is unmistakably that of an approximately 18th century British Royal Navy officer. The Royal Navy at the time distinguished between the ranks of master & commander and post-captain through the presence or absence of shoulder epaulettes. A master and commander would wear an epaulette on his left shoulder only, while a post-captain of less than three years seniority would wear one on his right shoulder and a post-captain of more than three years seniority would wear epaulettes on both shoulders.

As can quite clearly be seen here Cap'n Crunch wears epaulettes on both shoulders, denoting him as a post captain of at least 3 years seniority, which it would make sense for him to have, as the brand and character have existed since 1963, which we could consider the date of his promotion to post-captain, giving him 57 years of seniority.

However, this raises a new question: since after an officer has attained the rank of post-captain, promotion is normally based purely on seniority, why has Cap'n Crunch never advanced past the rank of post-captain? By all rights after 57 years he should be a full admiral. Why has this old and valiant officer been denied his rightful promotions for so long? I’ll tell you why.

False rumors about the Cap'n’s nationality have degraded his reputation in the eyes of the Admiralty and prevented this capable and intelligent naval hero from receiving deserved promotions for over 50 years.

CAP'N CRUNCH IS A BRAVE AND VENERABLE NAVAL HERO AND HAS BEEN DENIED HIS RIGHTFUL PROMOTION FOR DECADES AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS. CAP'N CRUNCH SHOULD AND MUST BE AN ADMIRAL.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.