I am 18 and desperately trying to find a job with no such luck. My family is emotionally abusive, and at times, it’s was physical when I was younger. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety thanks to them, and I live in a constant state of suicidal contemplation. Since I was 12, my family has always expected above and beyond things from me and there was no room for error. I was expected to keep the house some semblance of clean, do most of the raising of my siblings, and do other various tasks around the house like cooking and making sure I kept the shopping list updated. No matter what I did or how well things were done, if even the tiniest detail was wrong, I was told how I would never make it in the real world, I would never hold down a job, that I wasn’t good enough or capable of surviving on my own. If I ever tried to defend myself in these moments, or try to explain why something wasn’t the way it normally was, I was told to “shut the fuck up” to “stop being an argumentative bitch” and that I was an “ungrateful shit” no matter what approach I took. I even tried talking to my mother in calm moments about these problems and I was only ever met with anger. I learned quickly not to say anything when my dad was home because his approaches were always threats and violent tones. To make matters worse, my own grandmother is just as bad and I’ve heard nothing from her but how lazy I am, how my sister does all of the work, and even comments that went as far as I’m too fat to ever get a boyfriend and I need to lose weight if I want people to find me attractive.
In the last year or so, I started dating my childhood best friend. She’s a wonderful girlfriend, and she has been nothing but supportive of me and has done her best to help me overcome the struggles of my family. The relationship is secret though because I’m a woman and my parents wouldn’t approve, and I’m honestly afraid of what my dad would do if he found out. We plan to move into an apartment together by the summer, but I’ve had no luck getting a job. I cannot survive living here any longer than I have to. Every day is a struggle for my life and my sanity and I just need help getting out.
Thanks to some wonderful tumblr users, I decided to set up a PayPal account in hopes that people will donate money to my cause. The money is to go towards rent for the apartment, food, and gas so I can actively search for a job. The goal is $2,000. I know it’s a lot, but if at least 2,000 people could see this and donate $1 to me, it would help. My PayPal is wafflerageface@gmail.com and I would be forever grateful if I could get the money to get out of here. I intend to continue job hunting in the meantime, and once I’m with my girlfriend, I hope to find a job up where she lives. Until then, anything and everything donated to me would be a huge help. Thank you so very much for listening, and even more so if you donate!
