One Year Already!?

Hello all! So it’s been an entire, unbelievable, wonderful year with you folks. What started as an idle “I wonder if anyone else would find this as amusing as we do” has exploded into a great amount of both interest and support, and we thank all of you for it. Now, we had privately spoken awhile back about moving away from follower count giveaways for various reasons, but we couldn’t resist a birthday event of some kind to mark the occasion. 

What’s in it for you?

If you don’t want to trust in just sheer luck, we provided the links above so you can peruse their offerings and make a purchase or two. 

How does this work?

So, long story short, last time we tried to do a giveaway, tambls killed our note count accessibility because they’re sorta kinda not in keeping with the site’s rules and guidelines.

So we are planning on this one to be just a straight up follower count. If you follow us, you are entered.

We will TRY to work in likes and reblogs for secondary entries, but we may not have access to those metrics. We would like to encourage likes and reblogs and comments in a general sense because it is a celebration, after all! So please feel free to celebrate with us. 

We will be running this giveaway until Friday, September 27th, 2019 at midnight, central time. 

With some allowances for getting in touch with folks and confirmations, we will announce the winner sometime after that. 

Good luck to all of you, we love you, and happy stitching! 

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

Wtf????

Smoove with it too 

This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters. 

“Pathetic.  You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”

reminds me of this gif

Baseball players are to be feared

Reblogging for the last one

^Same for me

They just kept getting progressively more “woah”

much woah

Oh my god this is a lucky universe

every time this post comes around, my favorite part is the “I know it’s the Mets” qualifier at the beginning lmao like how baseball that this zillion note posts starts with “sorry for putting this hellteam on your dash, bUT”

australians dont have sex

australians mate

I spat out my coffee

sorry about your

fUCK

comic gatekeepers are..wild

Did you spoil him back with something better

i have done my part bye

ladjfbvldafbvsdofivubs

The day after The Last Jedi came out I was shopping for a birthday present for a friend at a nerd store and these two guys walk up behind me, obviously wanting to look at where I was looking. One of them said “probably buying something for her boyfriend…stick to blow jobs bitch it’s not like you know what you’re looking at” so I turned around and say “Luke Skywalker dies.”

They look at me speechless, they hadn’t seen the movie yet. “What did you say?”

“I said Luke Skywaler dies. He force projects himself to fight Kylo Ren and then dies. And if you don’t get the fuck away from me I’ll tell you how Snoke dies too”

Ruin things for gatekeeper douchbags 2k18

POWER MOVE

I’ve never actually played D&D before but I wanted to try my hand at creating some really dumb in-game items so here we go!

The Statue of General Unease: players who come within ten feet of this old, faded grey statue must make a DC 13 wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, the player just gets sort of…creeped out. All wisdom, intelligence, and charisma-based skill checks are at a disadvantage, because it’s really hard to think properly, you guys, with that weird statue staring over my shoulder like that. You’re seeing this too, right?

The Tie of Persuasion: a nondescript black silk tie that once belonged to a used cart salesman. When worn this object grants the wearer +7 to all charisma checks involving the sale of vehicles. (Or: flip a coin. If heads, +7, if tails, -3)

The Wild Card: it looks like any regular six of diamonds. However, with a subtle tap it can change into any other card at any time. Additionally, once per day you can use this object to transform into a wild animal of the DM’s choice for the duration of one hour.

The Ring of Detection: glows faintly in the presence of humans.

The Wand of Indeterminate Magical Effect: this wand radiates immense magical power, but more often than not attempts to cast any kind of spell with it will fail. Once per day, you can roll percentage die. On any number from 2-99, nothing happens. On a 1 or 100, the user casts a Wish spell.

Ahh, it’s back

i have disproportionately strong feelings about this.

every time i say “nah i’m not gonna watch it again.” BUT I STILL DO EVERY TIME.

YEAUGH

the comments are painfully accurate. 

the freeze-frame makes it even more incredible

@indigopersei is the french language just always on the verge of getting someone accused of assault or..?

my friend, if only you knew

It’s a very dangerous language to learn

Here’s an interesting thing about French! Everything needs to have an article in front of it. That’s why it’s “la chat” as opposed to just “chat”. So, for instance, you could say la fille for the girl, or jeune fille for young girl, but you can’t just say fille, because that means you are calling her a sex worker in a derogatory way.

The moral of the story is, if you want to make something rude in French, just take out the article in front of it. Yes, this works for nearly. every. word.

#now I’m wondering how often my high school french teacher was silently screaming because of this little fact

Every year. Every year there’s that kid who forgets that you can’t translate “I am excited” to “Je suis excitée”. And every year Monsieur Jordan has to slam the brakes before that kid can finish his sentence and then tactfully ask him not to announce to the class that he is horny.

“is the french language always on the verge” oh buddy, oh pal, i am so happy to break this news to you: 

truly the language of love

WELCOME TO CRITICAL ROLE LIVE

Sometime you just gotta take a little break from collecting souls! 

[Based on this video!]

______________

Vax from Critical Role

im going to start a thread of pokemon drawn to the sizes of the things theyre based on

here, i’ll start 

also this thread is open to anyone

A very small boi enters

@alpha-bread

!!!!! This is Zangoose she’s pointy and I love her

I chose the littlest ones cause the BIG ones were always tadpoles and the little ones were always poliwogs.

A pocket sized boy

Oh Matthew, don’t you know the internet will never be stopped?

there are only two genders

“When I was a child, girls would never wear trousers. But then women’s lib came along and they started to wear them all the time. So I figured, if women are allowed to wear trousers, men should be allowed to wear skirts. That’s liberation too, right? So I started with a kilt and realised I quite liked it. After that I tried other skirts. I now I wear them regularly. Not all the time mind you - just whenever I feel like it.

People sometimes tease me and ask why I am wearing a woman’s skirt. But look at me. I am quite clearly a man. So this is not a woman’s skirt. It’s MY skirt. It’s a man’s skirt.”

An icon, a trend setter, a solid fellow.

A good egg and an excellent man’s skirt. 

is she, you know *mimes swinging a sword* a lesbian??

“Your wrapping is homophobic” biggest mood

An action being “punishable by a fine” basically means “legal for rich people”.

Oh wow. That’s…

I once dated a rich guy and if I said “Hey it’s illegal to drink on the street” he’d respond with “Nah, it just costs £150″, or “You can’t park here!” “Yeh I can it costs £35″ like… literally… that’s how he saw fines, it was just how much you paid to do the thing. 

Reminds me of the double red lines in London. They exist because rich people kept parking on double yellow lines (which mean “no parking” in the UK) and then just paying the fines. So London started putting double red lines on major roads. If you park on double red lines, they don’t give you a ticket. They tow your car away and crush it. 

I like that.

Motivational Memo