A dream

🗣🗣 EAT THE RICH

i learned that in the Spiderman comic ‘Spider-Man: Reign’, Mary Jane dies due to exposure to Spiderman’s radioactive sperm.

Mary Jane Watson-Parker died of cancer brought on by exposure to Peter’s radioactive semen during intercourse over the years.

Everybody:

• needs somebody

• rock your body

• hurts

CLAP YOUR HANDS

CMON SEWING CLASS LETS GET SICKENING

more people (especially women) need to have zero tolerance policies in relationships (especially with men). you had to say no to sex more than once before he stopped? dump him. he called you a bitch? dump him. he ignored you when you were sick? dump him.

obviously this happens with other gender combinations too but so many men are like this, and so many women think it’s their job to improve these men. but you can’t train people into respecting you as a human being! you’re never gonna find the ones that actually respect you if you stick around trying to fix the ones who don’t.

Men will cum in anything…..you could throw a plate across the room and a man will fuck it before it lands

wow this Margaret Atwood poem slaps

The sarcasm in that reply

Saw this post on Facebook the other day and these were some of my favorite replies!! This shit’s too good

Richard Mooney comes swinging in with the comment that made me snort.

God damn Mooney

This is what anxiety sounds like.

You know usual people say something like the comment above and I’m like “Ehhhh, I guess?” but this time its. super dead on. 

.

What the fuk.

girl WHAT

Voice from Bird Box: “I got a 10 inch dick”

me:

updates from home

I remember when I was 9 years old neopets taught me what cum meant. Not what an orgasm is, but what the word cum meant. I was postin on the neoboards, doing my 9 year old thing, and all of a sudden I was kicked off the forum and blocked????? I was like what the fuck I’m 9 I just want to talk about my jubjub?? (his name was JubInATub how clever is that I know). So I investigated and it said I had been soft banned for using inappropriate language, and it had the word like censored and I had to click on it to see what it said, so I do and I see the word CUM written in bold red letters, plain as the morning sun, strung up and exposed to the brisk wind like freshly laundered linens, and was understandably offended like??? Cum on guys this has to be a mistake I was just asking what was the best time to cum to the ice caves and try to sneak some free shit from that ice snake bitch, that thing was ALWAYS awake. So my bitty 9 y/o brain was like what the hell neopets, maybe they just don’t understand Internet Lingo like obviously I was using a Hip and Cool instant message shorthand to save my precious 9 y/o time (a girls got shit to do like damn). So I was like let’s lay this to rest, I’m gonna google search this shit, screen shot the definition and send it in an email to the CEO Mr. Neopet himself, lay down some knowledge on these fogies. So my sweet little innocent fingers pull up Google dot com and type in the letters C-U-M expecting validation and let me tell you friends, what I found shocked my innocent child psyche to the core. The root of who I was got ripped to shreds, obliterated by the wood chipper that is this cruel and disgusting world we live in. That day changed me, it was a crossroads of my life and I was thrust down a path that I have yet to return from.