can't believe I really have a man planning to fly to me and get a hotel that I have zero obligation to stay in with him and take me shopping and on nice dates and then have me fly back with him to help me fly for the first time and see his house and visit for a little longer, he wants to pay my bills while we date and get married before I move in!

I just decided like a week ago that I'm going to live a high value life and value myself and ask for the world and I already have it, I love manifesting my value so much, I love being treated right for once!!!

shera literally saved my life honestly, i've been doing clown shit for so long, religion got it right and you can't sleep with a man if you want him to ever commit to you, I am going to be engaged with a ring and a full bank account before I ever sleep with or move in with a man, I love myself and I won't let anyone touch me that doesn't love me too <3 <3

i met an amazing man recently, and went on a wonderful date last night. we sat outside for a while with kids playing in the apartment complex yard, I asked if he's ready for that and he said YUP and we talked about kids for a while, I think he really might be the one. the way he touched me and dragged me around and kissed me and held me and fucked me with that big dick... the cuddles... inviting me to stay the night and quietly muttering I could live there if I wanted... mister Momo kitty was so sweet!! he gave us privacy and came back later lmao. my God I want to kiss and touch this man every day forever. his beautiful olive Italian skin on my pale white is so beautiful, I was looking at our hands together and thinking it when he said literally the exact same thing. his hands and forearms are so big, my hand is tiiiiny in comparison and he loves it, he called me small! The very few times that he hasn't understood something I said he asked for clarification and said he didn't get it instead of just smiling and laughing like guys do to girls most of the time. he cares what I say and wants to understand me. wtf why do I always want to say love so fast. because I love who he is as a person I guess. but damn I'll really scare him off if I even say that lmao

my provider doesn't want a relationship with me and it's driving me absolutely insane wondering why, I don't understand why I'm not good enough to date but I can still cook and clean for you and you want me to drain your balls without committing to me, this is a bunch of bullshit and not what I signed up for. I wish we could sleep together but I'm not doing that shit if he doesn't want me. fuck why couldn't it have just gone well and worked. wtf is so wrong with me.

today we gave the kitty a bath and he watched me play BG3 for a while and taught me some stuff, he's so sweet 🥺 I just want some of the love the kitty gets...

My ex was quick to respond and tell me how bad it was when I was complaining about things being awkward but he has nothing to say when I'm talking about how good it's going. He's a rat too honestly. I appreciate him loaning me money though to get me out of a terrible spot and save me hours of awkwardness, makes up for one of the times he did it to me, maybe two lol

he was sooo nice to me today my face hurts from smiling so much! he asked how the vent cleaning went, he sympathized with my horrible day and we came together to call the kitty a rat for getting in the ceiling and stressing me out lmao. he complimented my cooking, talked to me about video games and cars and my plans to pack more and got me a credit card so I'm not left without one again, he paid me back as soon as he got home so I could pay my ex back, he let me cuddle with him on the couch and wrapped his arm around me, he took me upstairs to show me the game and explain all the classes and subclasses and told me he thinks I'm smart and I should do research into what I want to play, he touched me in this sweater and told me he's glad I can wear it bc it's so comfy and put his hands all over me in it, he cuddled in bed with me and talked about insomnia and kitty and colorblindness and random pillow talk that felt so much more comfortable for some reason. he wanted me to try to sleeping in bed with him again quite a bit but I left my game and PC on, we're going to try tomorrow night. idk if it's because of our conversation last night, and me opening up about being lonely and wanting more affection, but either way I got it.. it has to be because I asked right? I put myself in his lap and in his bed and I put his hand on my pussy, I have to lead but he takes the reins and takes off and it's so great. we came at the same time!!! and he had his face rubbing up against mine nearly the whole time.. so romantic.... he gave me a kiss goodnight because he's learning what I want!!! so sweet!!! I do relationshis so fucking backwards and weird. we had sex before we ever kissed. I'm much more shy to give him a hug or a kiss than to put his penis inside me. why am I like this and why is it so much fun to be a bang maid with a budding romance? omg this is my life's dream, I really did it I really got what I wanted 🥰🥰

he touched meeee he let me lay in his lap on the couch and put his arm around me, and he said that he liked me in his sweatshirt and put his hands all over me 🥰 I may have reacted weirdly lol but wow I hope he does it again

he also got me a credit card today 🥰🥰

my new provider told me to put all the stuff I want in an Amazon wishlist and then he bought the entire thing. it's all household stuff but wow money makes my pussy wet. there's an 11 piece Cuisinart stainless steel cookware set in there and he didn't ask any questions, just ordered it along with the rest. I'm gonna cook this man so much good food 😤😤

WEEDKILLER SAVED MY LIFE

I left my abuser on the 25th and listened to the album the whole drive, thank you for giving me my life mother Ashnikko!!!!

wow I moved out of my abusive ex's house 2 days ago and I haven't smoked weed once since then and I'm so happy!!! and my car fully died on the drive to my new house and my new bf just told me to stop worrying about it and he'll make sure I have a car 🥺🥺🥺 I prayed for so long and God finally sent an angel, I am so thankful, I could never repay the kindness he's shown me already but I'm absolutely going to try my hardest every day!!

if you know me irl no you don't and shut the fuck up about it. this is my diary and I expect it to stay private.