So i haven’t been posting a lot cause a lot has been going on in my home life but it is official my name is legally changed to Emmett Jacob-Alexander Ryder. Since I had it changed i find myself in a place where I want to continue moving forward in my transition. Where I struggled to find myself in the past I now know myself.
Lee says: Hey folks! For those of you in the US, here’s some news for you! It looks like trans people will be allowed to join the army.
I am currently on my way to rehab I have had a relapse and I find myself slipping into the life I thought was far behind me, but this time it won’t defeat me. I have taken my life back it is mine to live and I will live it. So i’m not gonna be posting for a while. I hope you guys don’t lose faith in my blog or think I am weak because in fact getting help and asking for it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I will have maxthetransgender or another friend to post pics from my account. I love you all even though I don’t know you personally so stay strong don’t be afraid to ask for help. I’m hoping to be on T when I get back
Hey Em I love you and you're my hero I'm glad you are getting help it is really inspiring
Be warned it might trigger some of you who parents don’t accept you I wish you could see all the tears I cry and all the scars i hide. You see I try to hide the pain behind a well placed mask but the mask has begun to crack the once flawlessly placed smile begins to slip. You act like you have done nothing wrong, you act like i should be thankful for how you raised me. You raised me to hate people who were different you taught me to hate people who loved differently, but what makes matter worse you prove to me that you would not love me no matter what like the way you always promised. You taught me to hate myself cause i am different, i love differently. I see the world in color while you’re stuck in black and white. I am my own worse enemy and bully i’m stuck where i am scared to move forward cause you hold my smile, your religion holds me at bay.. is it fair for me to want to end it all because you condemn me. The sad thing is i wouldn’t take T or transition if only… if only Mom and Dad you saw me as a man.. and if you loved me is it to much to ask for you to accept me must i pretend forever cause all i want and need is you both…. don’t push me I’m close to the edge please listen to my plea don’t cast me to the wolves. i love you both so much and i never wanted to cause you pain but it seems my please fall on deaf ears and i cant stay strong. My friends all say we love you, they say i don’t need you mom and dad.. they say they are here for me and they are but i push them away. they don’t need to suffer all because of my selfish needs. If i lose my life before anyone wakes then it wasn’t by mistake. it wasn’t me being a martyr, it wasn’t me being courageous its me escaping from the chains that bound me. You see i tried to stay strong it just seems like the fire in my eyes has stated to die. its now embers and the flame is about to go out. now to the readers who don’t know me but is seeing this post; Its time to realize the rainbow cant be complete without all the colors. Which means we have to start caring about everyone not just the Color of the rainbow we are. you all have to realize we have to stick together or we will be powerless. history has taught us when we all unite we hold the power rather it be for independence or for Gay Marriage. We the people hold the key so take it back before its to late. At the end of the day one thing remains true we are human in the end which means we make mistakes love to much and hate even more.
Wow bro that's deep
It’s Time to take my life back so I started a gofundme for my top surgery. no matter what happens the mirror will one day reflect the man I am on the inside with or without help. One day and one step at a time https://www.gofundme.com/dn5zak7k
I'm proud of you bro I'm glad your taking a stand and you are taking your life back
It seems every day you move further away from who you were and closer to whom your meant to be. I find myself slowly entering what I will call Limbo, I have entered a place that isn’t good nor bad and in this present time I can’t go back or rush through to the outcome. I can’t go back pretending I’m a girl just for my family’s happiness nor can I rush through to full transition, I am forced to go for the ride but thats fine cause what some people dont realize is its all about the ride. Life is meant to have its up and downs, its meant to break you down and build you back up because its shaping us into the person we are meant to be. I find myself in Limbo no clear way back nor a way forward I am stuck sitting here waiting but that’s fine i seem to find myself and find wisdom the most when i’m left alone. I sit here now pondering always wondering, all i seem to do is cause more questions with each answer I find. Isn’t it funny with each question answered more arise and so on, so this leaves me to believe the answer to life isn’t an answer it’s a question. This question is simple but difficult, and the answer is always changing but it keeps getting asked even if its worded differently. You see this question is the question one is always searching for and when you think you have it, it changes. It seems the question is different for each person but I am not secretive enough to not tell you mine. the question I always ponder and wonder about is Who am I? Who is this reflection in the mirror? it seems while I’m in this Limbo I don’t have a gender in my reflection all I see is me. you might not think that make sense but it does if your sitting here in limbo waiting for the moment to make your move. So before you seek the Answer to life maybe you should first seek the question of life.
It’s hard when on top of dysphoria, gender confusion, and the fear of change your heart is pulling you one way but doubt holds you back. The fear of losing one thing will cause an avalanche effect and cause you to lose everything. It’s hard to let that one thing go when in your mind that one thing is holding your life together, but in reality you don’t know what that one thing is. I find myself staring at my ceiling at night slowly slipping into madness as my demons pokes doubt at my plans and goals. Every dysphoria thought, misgendering statement, what if questions, and Hurt plays in your mind the most when your away from the person that makes you feel alive. They say inner strength is the key but to what door does it open? the inner strength people are so keen of talking about is a figure of speech in which they wouldn’t go through the same thing you face. They will tell you oh been there done that but in fact they truly dont understand. They have been through similar situations but in fact they will never be in the same situation cause human emotions and throught is different between people. Then you face the moment you dread you speak the words you can never take back… “I’m Letting Go” you break your heart in hopes to make you stronger but in reality your breaking your self to be colder, they say when your older you will understand but if something is so revolutionary why must i have to wait forever for a reason of existence because i let my reason of existence to go in hopes to find the true reason. So as time slips and ticks away i lie in this bed of hopless dreams and i am torn between what is reality.
H o w
fight me for him
omg
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Jurassic World + References to previous Jurassic Park films (Part 4)
Jurassic World + References to previous Jurassic Park films (Part 1)
Jurassic World + References to previous Jurassic Park films (Part 2)
Jurassic World + References to previous Jurassic Park films (Part 3)
we sit waiting always breaking but still we begin agian always searching and always losing by taking granted of the little things the people who break you are hiding. so why must we hide in the facade that we created by developing what we yet not understand as tho we anwser without truly knowing the question. always Searching always failing but hope is still in sight as those you thought would forsake you still holds you in their grasp always yearning to embrace you and keep you in flight so why are we hiding in the light and losing sight of what is right and always taking time to say goodbye instead of learning to hold tight.
bravo bravo :3 nice poem emmett
you now no longer have to wonder how it would feel to get a blowjob from mike wazowski
IVE NEVER WONDERED THAT
new video yass
I was Tagged by jaimistoryteller
Repost and Tag Ten People you’d like to get to know better.
Gender: I am Male (transguy but I’m still all man)
Color(s): Lime green, Red, and Rainbow
Current Time and Date: 2:37 am 7/2/2015
Favorite Number(s): 7, 13, and 21
First Word That Comes To Mind: Equality
One Place That Makes Me Happy: Library or Inside my own Head hahaha
Favorite Character(s): Luna Lovegood, Murdoc Niccals, Albus Dumbledore, Sirus Black, Sora, Axel, Jack Skeleton, Sally, and Moka
Favorite Food: Burgers
Favorite Drink: Dr. Pepper, Mountian Dew and Pepsi
Favorite book: Harry Potter Series, Divine Comedy, Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, Queen of The Damned, and Sleepy Hallow
Last Film: Kingsmen: secret service
Last Holiday: Rainbow Day June 26,2015 Love won Legalized gay Marriage in all 50 states. I haven’t went on vacation in a while except around my state and close states
Dream Wedding: Doesn’t matter whatever makes my significant other happy but I am wearing a rainbow suit and that’s final lol
Dream Job: Photographer, LGBTQ Advocate, and Navy Seal
What Are You Wearing: black and grey shirt, binder and Skinny Jeans
aikolarry christopholly cactipillars clxssykid damien-rose the-flowerprince lifeaslevi ollivern flower-boy-prince faeriebrat and ayone else that wants to do it
I’ve decided to start “naturally transitioning” to increase my Testosterone levels. Now I know that this isn’t going to show the most dramatic changes, and hasn’t worked for some trans guys. But I am going to give it a shot. If anything, it will make me feel better until I can get on HRT. Here’s what I will be doing:
